Little 1.5 minute timelapse!

I pushed myself to draw from imagination with whatever that comes to me and onto the canvas.

Once again, witness my struggles at my timelapse! I had no clue what I was supposed to draw and it turned out this way. I had to iterate because the hard part is trying to make something coherent out of my meandering, unconscious part of my brain.

Who is this character?? Well it doesn’t matter ;D

Sketch for the day 07 / attempt at drawing from imagination

Yes I’ve changed from Prompt for the day to Sketch(es) for the day because clearly I had no prompt to begin with so I needed a more vague and flexible category ;P

This was a pretty impromptu sketch since I am juggling with work, learning and homework (plus lots of procrastination activities) – none of which I can show :’)

Not really a study and it’s not really a full illustration; it’s more of a quick, monotone, sketchy illustration??

I feel absolutely terrible at drawing from imagination. Trying to do more bad, experimental, imaginative, unconscious, doodly drawing and then I’ll attempt/apply some technical skills along the way in later iteration(s). If it’s *really* bad and embarrassing to show, I’ll bundle my attempts into my study posts at my blog? Hey sometimes I don’t bother fixing things – I own it and keep things in mind for next time ;D

Hopefully I’ll do more of these to help me subconsciously digest and express what I’m learning, struggling and juggling with :0 Plus test how limited and awful my visual library and muscle memory are by not depending on visual references as my heavy crutch sometimes!

Ultimately I’m doing this to relax, unconsciously doodle and turn off my brain so the aforementioned “testing” is in moderation and after I get the gist of it down. Unconscious and low stress sketching for fun comes first and then the pressure to make it look something passable comes later :’)

Note that if I do more of these, I probably won’t have much to say (like this post) and it’ll just be little art posts.

Please keep your expectations low ;P

Sometimes I need to rein back from thinking and deliberating too much and focus on drawing more.

Just start and draw. Act.

It’s so easy to sabotage and keep myself stuck in the planning/preparation stages :’)

Sketching her again! Let’s goooo

Here I’m iterating for the 3rd time, playing around with tones & brushes and not taking things too seriously.

Yeah it was fun and at the same time I feel pretty directionless, anxious and frustrated with my “general art goals” while doing this.

Reflecting/venting some more on art direction

I want to do cute things but I also want to be challenged with interpreting, designing & illustrating stylised human characters in different and emotive ways!

I’m more of a “whatever interests/excites me at the moment” person while having goals just brings me performance anxiety, self inflicted high expectations, fear of burnout, internal resistance, avoidance and mental road blocks/doubts. Right now I’m struggling to settle on goals, projects and what would bring consistent “value” to others/social media/industry peeps because I’m just happy (and it’s easier) to share my messy and uncertain art journey instead. Just go along with the process :<

I do hope to do better technically and creatively better at portraits & character illustration with character design as the secondary bonus/hobby. Little silly cute comics would really be for me as my personal thing when I randomly feel like it.

Always learning to manage, embrace, process and sit with these feelings. I know I should be putting my own creative, life and emotional needs first. Otherwise I will completely lose joy in making art again.

Eventually and slowly I hope to find my way in art! Continuing/working/struggling to adapt, juggle, evolve, bring in consistent income, survive and keep doing what I enjoy :’)

So looking at this big picture, social media is a great tool for a hermit like me but doesn’t really feel as important in comparison to my mental health. Still I don’t think I can use my “unapproachable” aura to my advantage on social media as social media is about being *social*. And I’m not too bothered about doing so in recent years. I post and hide at a bunch of places ;P

We all have our own ways to keep in touch and social media is the most passive, low effort, fleeting, stealthy and convenient way for all of us. So as much as I vent about not to getting too addicted into looking and comparing myself with other people on the internet for my mental health, I do check what a few people are up to randomly/occasionally so I’m not completely stuck in my solo bubble ;P

Anyhoo, thank you and let’s keep doing our best at our own slow pace!

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