Joy of crullers and custard buns!! / My entry at the Piapro site

Expressing joy and love for crullers, custard buns and swirly things!
Sharing the warmth of comfortable, sweet pastries <3

I went with pastries that’s true to me. Pastries that I enjoy.

I know people go for creamy french pastries and cakes but that’s what I don’t like. I don’t like whipped creamy/mousse things. It makes me gag if there’s too much of it. I don’t want it as a topping or filling, yuck. I want other kinds of pastries and crullers and custard buns ;P Croissants are wonderful too but a lot of artists are doing that already :<

Sure it’s another baker/fancy patisserie look (but I really wanted to do an outfit that makes sense as a pastry baker and maker) so I tried an angular heart shaped whisk and a bow and arrow (harder to read as “sharing the love and joy and warmth of sweet goodies”) but I don’t think they work or read. Not as nendoroid props at least as it’s too complex!! At least I tried something different from what others were doing with cooking tools ;P And I should have removed the neck scarf from the rabbit Yukine but ah well. I ran out of time.

I spent approx 50 hours around life and work slowly trying get this done :’) This is why I didn’t post anything for a while. I didn’t sleep for a whole day yesterday trying to get this done thinking that the deadline was soon. Then the deadline was actually on the 10th instead!!? So I posted it again because things were off when I was not functional/awake.

So much for a restful longer weekend…I’m not fully rested 🙁

Oof I really have to enjoy the competition theme for me to ever do this again for another year. It’s not worth doing it if you don’t care for it. This was a lot of work for me…!! I have to make it so that it doesn’t take so long and keep it fun if there ever is a next time.

So how did people pump out ideas within days…?!

I get grumpy and I envy people sometimes and their great work and popularity with anime and/or painterly styles and how they engage with people ;P I really feel like I don’t have the charisma nor art style nor personality to be well known and popular for my work but at least I’m doing art that’s true to me!!

Repetitive as I am – I have to keep reminding myself this during my lowest of times as it’s easy to get swept away by other people’s hard work and passions and goals when you feel lost, insecure and lonely. And it’s been a lot because people don’t really care as much as you do with your own things after all :0

Again this is why I can’t be a character designer professionally – I take it slow and iterate a lot!! I am trying to push my standards!! This is probably iteration 14 or something. I didn’t bother counting past 10. Experienced the many gaps in knowledge I have with costumes and food design too. Gosh art is hard.

I just kept nitpicking everything as it didn’t feel feel good enough against other amazing entries and how competitive this is. It was a journey of being frustrated with my own work, hating my work and felt like I wanted to quit a bunch of times.

Why should I bother?? I know I won’t win anything.

Well I am learning and it’s forcing me to create something I’m happy with :0

I’m using this as a challenging learning experience as I know this is going to be lost in the abyss of thousands of entries :’) A lot of them are so very excellent too. I have tried to visualise…what if I was a finalist but didn’t make the final pick to be an actual figure anyway? Nah. That’s not too likely. My entry is now lost to the void of many others.

Well I’m happy I did my best and gave it a try!!

I wanted a happy, cute, colourful Miku who puts her soul into making delicious sweet treats and I think I’m there, if not very close!

I did another piece just now; just figuring her out
and if it feels good to draw her outside of the character sheet template ;P
I need to let go and move on now! I spent too much time on this wah
I need to stop being a perfectionist and work on my own studies!!

Leonie rambles about…

So I’ve been busy with work, life, drama with my my situation, doing a 32 day daily study challenge as well as trying to finish this Miku challenge!! And curse the timezones…why are most things happening when I sleep!! Trying to pick my battles is hard. Having to work around other’s early schedules too so I have to wake up super early and get exhausted more often 🙁

UGH

This month and next month is stressful with changes/people/life/work and trying to adapt.

It also sucks when you’re the last one and feelings of not being enough resurface but you have to just process that hurt and mixed feelings properly and focus on what you can control 🙁

And also with social things too – it has to be mutual for things to work and actions speak louder than words! I’d rather know the truth than be misled.

Trying to not focus and dwell too long on the negative side and emotionally detach…else it just makes insecurity and resentment fester further and feels horrible.

Emotionally detaching and shutting it down can have downsides though because then I don’t really speak up nor acknowledge that I have negative feelings. But to most it’s probably petty little things people don’t care about. I do vent about to 1 to 2 close peeps. I try to reign in myself because I generally don’t trust and warm up to people that fast and most people don’t have friendship capacity for me either.

Anyhoo I was stumped and don’t know how to break it up with posting my figure challenge kimo studies but I guess I’ll post on bluesky and cara then do weekly summaries and thoughts at my blog starting next week when I’m recovered and more functional?

Well let’s see how I go. I won’t have the capacity to ramble and reflect too much either so me focusing on studying and making more art is hopefully “good enough”.

Here we go, another month :0

I am pooped and I was intending to wake super early but that won’t work out :<

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