** This post is a 14 minute read! **

PatchGaming: Positive mental health sticker pack designs!

In March, I worked with the team at PatchGaming to design & illustrate their positive mental health sticker packs! You might have seen them post some the designs individually a long while ago.

And I wrote this blog post at the start of April and waited until December to release it (as agreed). In turn they’ve been super sweet and kindly promoted me when they posted them.

Design thoughts & process

First I had to get used to drawing the established PatchGaming dinosaur mascot, Patchy [I don’t claim credit for the character design]! Then figure out what positive mental health messages I want to create.

It was a project where I was to come up with sticker ideas of my own so I just explored ideas that came to me along the way. I looked at references and googled for mental health slogans that sung to me.

Design Sketches for feedback

Not sure how this would translate into vector art stickers at the time but I’m not as daunted by vector art at this point. I’ll figure something out even if I don’t know 100% what works until I get there. I wasn’t sure about the first design and felt like redoing it :S

Final Design Sketches from feedback & my own nitpicking

Here are stickers that survived, the old #7 didn’t make it – replaced by a very good mental health slogan instead.

Patchy is more of a rounded T-rex snout than a dinosaur beaky snout so I made changes accordingly. Made #2 more cuter with a more readable composition with the PatchGaming logo and #3 with a more calm, happy face.

My own nitpicks include me changing #1 entirely because it wasn’t cute enough for me. And I changed #2 around because PatchGaming is already featured in #7 in order to make the composition work.

Final Vector Art: Colours and Polish!

Gosh this was super time consuming to do. I’m so much slower with vector art, I nitpick everything because things must be clearer and cleaner which makes me prefer my sketches and more hand drawn illustrations sometimes.

Regardless, these turned out alright! Phew! They are done! 😀

Patchgaming have been super supportive and kind to work with and I’m happy they love these <3 I think only one of these are available at a time; I don’t know 100% how it works :0

Leonie’s art from the past week

#58 It’s okay, I gotchu~! 🐱🧡🐶

R-really? My anxiety, weaknesses & insecurities aren’t putting you off at all?

It’s alright and sometimes annoying but that’s what friends are for!

😭

It’s great when you actually feel safe, valued, trusted, understood with each other and mutually enjoying each other’s company. We’re all struggling in our own ways but we don’t often talk about it with each other whenever emotional support needed, myself included :’)

Talking about feelings is hard and complex but important with the people you keep in your life <3

I’m terrible at expressing myself into words, mind you. Sometimes I find it super difficult to say what I feel (because I don’t understand it myself) until misunderstandings happen and after much self reflection and realisation :<

My instagram #TopNine2019

Apparently these are my top nine and I’m feeling mixed. Only one personal favourite got in and the first one feels like cheating but that’s what I got ;P

And two of them are #UntitledGooseGame 😂

Yeah my favourite pieces aren’t appealing enough when it comes to likes. But I like my work so stuff that metric! I shall strive to get better anyway. Ultimately I didn’t post this to Instagram because the result is not something I want to post 😛

#59 Gameboi buddy 💚

My first gaming device!

Well there was also a bootleg Game & Watch but it broke after a while :<

What were your first new gaming majigs? :0

Personal rambles & Saturday schedule change!

Yes I’ve changed it so that the weekly blog is posted on Saturday afternoons and not Monday mornings! Most people (aside from a small handful of kind, wonderful peeps) don’t seem to have time to read my blog posts regardless so I decided to publish during the quiet weekend. It makes more sense to recap the week during the weekend anyway.

Content creator people may argue that nobody is online on the weekends to read the blogs but I’d rather people take the time to read during a less busy period ;P

Since it’s getting too long on the main page, I’m going back to truncating the blog posts short so people need to click to read the full post. I’m not bothered doing a list of contents at the start of each blog so I shall be more mindful on using more tags! So please read the tags to see what I’ll ramble about ;D

Leonie’s Knight of Hearts sticker flop

As expected, nobody ordered a sticker from Monday so far. I’ll keep it open though! But I think I should probably not sell anything in the future until a substantial amount of people actually ask and demand for it 😛 I should have known, silly Leonie.

Hey it truly is difficult to make a living as an artist and failure is expected, especially when I need to be better with art and I lack an engaged audience of several thousands. If it was easy, everyone would be doing it. Plus my character isn’t a known IP nor a cute animal so bluntly put, most people don’t want it and would only want it if it’s free.

Yeah my “business plan” isn’t substantially backed with demand here but at least I tried because I wanted to! I don’t want to make stickers again nor any merch at this point :’) I can’t afford it anymore and I was already pushing it. Again, I’ll gift them to peeps if I do get out to catch up (and it’s okay to say no if you don’t want one or ask if you could have one).

Yes I know being a professional artist is not the way for stability, nor the way to make lots of money and it’s a constant cycle of employment and being unemployed. Very disheartening and exhausting especially during your first years in the industry and figure your strengths out.

And I can’t consider myself a newbie to the industry anymore, even though I feel like I’m trying to break in all over again. I want to work towards being less disposable to people and clients ;P I don’t think I’ll ever break into anything when it’s always evolving and then fading away :<

Still I just can’t do anything else; there is no Plan B for a stubborn, solitary worker soul like me. I need to work for others while building my own self sustaining brand of art – however long it takes. I don’t know how to make that happen but I’ll see what opportunities come my way.

Regardless, I’m happy to design for projects but not based from my own personal art and designs right now. I don’t have an established IP, clout and charisma. I always have much to learn too.

Reflection aside, thanks for those who ninja supported my social media posts all the same! <3 I’m just humbled that I’m not posting to crickets!

Back to learning and skilling up! I need to see how far I can go!

Mental Health ramble

I am of no authority to give advice nor do I know what I’m doing. I am just someone trying to manage, learn and take care of herself too. We all are.

And it seems like a lot of us are just burnt out and/or tired this time of year (or throughout the year if I were to be blunt about it). World news has been super disappointing, depressing and unfortunate – I just feel helpless with the future of humanity sometimes so I go back to focusing on doing better as a person. Something that is within my control.

Personally I’m still fighting to get a sustainable momentum going and not feel so defeated with progressing my own art and life 🙁 Am I burnt out? Somewhat I think I am when it comes to doing personal art as it takes me so much longer to want to make things. I don’t know as I sometimes it takes a slow burn for me to be excited about things again.

I feel like most people avoid reading these blog posts altogether because I’ve gotten so gloomy as I face the rocky, isolated freelance life, my focus on petty things grows when I get grumpy and my internal doubts keep plaguing me.

What if I get burnt out on -this thing- as well if I try this? What if I fail trying to become something I’m not? Why does making art for others drain out my excitement for anything sometimes? I think I have an irrational fear of burning myself out and then scare myself out of things I want to do :’)

I’m usually an all or nothing, impatient kind of person because if I don’t commit to doing and finishing something, I fear that I’ll get rusty and won’t finish it later. Which isn’t true because I’ve taken breaks and slowly picked it up again later before. I just need to break things down into manageable chunks and do things as I see fit. Or when I’m procrastinating – I can do something else productive! That’s why my schedule is mostly flexible when it’s just up to me and I keep myself busy.

Baby steps, Leonie. I can’t do intense schedules right now – I already have a mostly full morning routine so I need to protect my flexible times of the day :0

Generally this is what I do nowadays:

Since I can’t afford therapy anymore, I ramble away with a trusted, patient, understanding friend or two. Stay self aware and not to burden them too much too. If I feel it will be heard, say what’s bothering me as it happens and not bottle it up inside.

Or I reach out and catch up with someone who I haven’t talked to in ages. Focus on them rather than myself for a while. I don’t do this in person nowadays though because I’m reclusive :’)

Or I talk to myself and give myself a pep talk (if I’m alone). In a weird way, I feel like I’m being heard and listened to. Topics and issues like:

Past, present and future
Feelings, facts and possibilities
Things and people you’re grateful for
Things you are in control of
Things you aren’t in control of and can let go of
Being kind and understanding of your thoughts and feelings
Slowing down and sitting with them
Allow your inner voices to be heard, accepted and accounted for

Or I research and learn how other people deal with the same problems and topics. The emotional labour and mindset behind it too.

Or I blog, draw, art and create something! Keep doing something positive for myself and/or others. I think I ramble at the blog the most!

“Things will be okay,” I tell myself. :’)

A self love tip that I haven’t tried yet is listing 5 positive, admirable, respectable, appreciative, great things about someone. And then rewrite it so that it’s referring to your self, even though you don’t fully believe in it yet. It’s still something you genuinely aspire to be, from that person you chose. Things that are awesome about someone can also be found within you.

Now I’m terrible at this because all I think about is how I lack those good qualities and I’m not a positive affirmations kind of person :< But its something I need to consciously learn to do I suppose. I’ll let you know if this self talk tip works ;D

Do you have mental health tips to share that resonate with you? Let’s have some positive vibes! 😊💗

Game & Game Awards rambles

GOSH what a long show of ads ;P

Games I’m keen for

From Indie World, I’m keen to actually play Murder by numbers and Sports Story :0
Platinum’s new game, Babylon’s Fall looks interesting too
And nothing new shown in the game awards made me want to play them :’)

Awards Ramble

It’s wholesome when they showcased Global citizen stories but also mixed when it’s under the Facebook Gaming brand
Death Stranding – Best score in music, Best performance/acting with Mads Mikkelsen as Cliff and Best Game Direction. Well they got to win some things! It’s definitely weird game direction!
Man eater – shark eating as much humans they can feels scary
Jumanji movie plug and Dreams – Jack Black and the Rock as plump little Dreams characters look silly
Humankind – avatar creator system, is this a mash up of civilisations? The avatar character designs look pretty good
No more heroes 3 – super trippy old anime movie scene and then Travis Touchdown comes in to be the best hero against all these weird beings :0 Interested to watch this game.
Final Fantasy 7 remake – yeah nothing new, just waiting for it to come out at this point and wondering how it will work with PS5 coming around the corner
Super Smash Bros. Ultimate – Best fighting game award!! Aw yeah! I played it and I’m not good at it ;P But it deserves it given at how much it’s done and how much quality is packed into this game.
Disco Elysium – Best narrative, Best Role Playing Game, Best Indie Game & Fresh Indie Game!! I only watched a few hours into this game and it’s super well written. Four awards! Maybe I should actually watch a full playthrough.
Reggie presenting indie game award – wholesome speech and called indies the most important creators of the industry <3
Senua’s saga: Hellblade 2 trailer- spooky, angry themes and unsettling visuals
Fire Emblem: Three Houses – Best Strategy game & Player’s Voice!!! Yayyyyyyyy! WOOO! 😀
Control – Best Art Direction – DLC expeditions comes out too
Ikumi Nakamura being quirky, bowing and twirling presenting the award 😀
Devil May Cry 5 – Best Action Game. Presented by Norman Reedus, it was weird hearing him speak as a person and not a video game character. I liked how the devs are so happy and yelled “DMC is back!!”
Gris – Games for Impact. For some reason, it’s presented by the muppets Dr Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker. It felt awkward with this game category. Great skit though with the Goose game muppet! Beaker screaming into his headset while playing Untitled Beaker Game is me internally screaming about my life :’)
Luigi’s Mansion 3 – Best Family Game!! Weegee!! YAYYY! Well deserved fun game that’s super rewarding to play and explore! 😀
Crash Team Racing Nitro Fueled – Best Sports/Racing Game. I didn’t play this but watched streams of it.
Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice – Best Action/Adventure Game & Game of the Year. Wow, I guess this is them trying to do some risk management away from showing bias for Death Stranding ;D
Bravely Default 2 trailer – according to fans, finally this game series gets some marketing and recognition.
Lots of pretty cinematic trailers but I won’t really play these games like: Magic the Gathering games, Dungeons and dragons: Dark Alliance, Prologue and League of Legends story games
Fornite – starwars gilder and J. J. Abrams? Eh I don’t care ;P It also won an award for Best Ongoing game.
Final Fantasy 14 ad – shame it didn’t win anything when it improved so much :0 I thought it was going to win Best ongoing game.
Sons of the forest trailer with the scary many armed dancing demon lady
Birds of Prey – Harley Quinn movie ad too :0
Some quit vaping ads and lots of “hey we have games on the PS system or Switch or Xbox pass” etc
I only liked the Awards orchestra, if I had to choose which music performance I liked. And even then I wasn’t fully paying attention haha
Apex Legends – Mirage skit about their Christmas update was well timed but super awkward. Also it won Best multiplayer.
Ultimate Rivals – sports ice hockey? Character designs look interesting
Ori and will o wisps trailer – it’s the first game but further developed with different bosses, abilities and places? I don’t know, it’s pretty art haha.
Lots of Stadia ads :0 Electric air? Dog?
Ghost of Tsushima – trailer and orchestra performance. Looks pretty and cinematic
Neraka bladepoint trailer – chinese game with combat? Chinese opera intro too! :0
Nine to five trailer – rabbits with guns? Weirddd
New World trailer – Tree deer and monuments?? I don’t know at this point fantasy and shooting stuff usually look the same to me.
Surgeon Simulator 2 – trailer is trippy D:
Wolf among us 2 trailer – actually still happening!
why is tweet of the year a thing
Michelle Rodrigues and Vin Diesel being happy gamers on stage
no Smash reveal! Mwahahahahaha!
everyone in audience dashing to leave when the show was ending pfffft!

Phew! That was a brain dump of thoughts! I felt like I wasted a lot of my time; ah well :’)

Thanks for reading!! Open for work next year?

So now that I’m finishing up some work, I’m assuming I’ll be unemployed for the rest of this month onwards and don’t know what next year will bring. This is because there’s no work arranged with certainty yet so I’m just going to be putting my head down, keep being frugal with money and learn art in my own reclusive cocoon during 2020 :’) I have lots to learn!!

I won’t worry too much about it, do the best I can by taking things in stride. Easier said than done of course! Oof.

Anyhoo, please take care of yourself during the rest of this weekend too <3 It’ll be okay.

♥ Support my art and learning journey on Patreon or Ko-fi! ♥

PatchGaming sticker set commission process & mental health ramble [+ weekly update]