Sometimes all you could do is take it in. Hey it me.

Playing around with colours ;D

🚀 Crossy Road Castle's 5th tower 'Space Station 115' is OUT NOW! 🎉https://t.co/rbXNtUPeyO#CrossyRoadCastle @AppleArcade #HipsterWhale #CrossyRoad pic.twitter.com/CnV0yzYfE4

— Crossy Road (@CrossyRoad) June 11, 2021

Official tweet for the update! Congrats to the hard work of the team!

Each tower seems to get better and better thanks to the team :0

SuperLeonieMode 327 / On the observation deck [Giftart to celebrate the latest CrossyRoadCastle update!] 🚀🛸👽🌠

I wonder what’s travelling across the sky ;D

Note I did this without knowing what the final level designs would look like but it doesn’t matter, it’s my own personal art ;’D

As usual, I helped out with concept art and initial background decoration passes for the Space Tower/ Tower 5 with the art boss Ashleigh and the Hipster Whale team!

It was definitely a learning experience and out of my comfort zone doing monitors, cables, pipes, signs, posters and scifi backgrounds & decorations stuff so I’m glad this update is done :’) I’m not really a sci-fi nor genre focused/interested person and I’m more about how good the story is ;P

I spent some time watching reviews by 3 autistic people & discussion on the Love On the Spectrum show (Season 1 and 2) rather than watching it myself

Correct me if I’m wrong. Learning that it’s a super problematic neurotypical-gaze, feel-good, reality TV dating show.

I was curious and ended up disappointed, sad and irritated. Ah well I don’t want to learn about this show any further :/

I do not want to feel patronised, infantilised, even more alienated, uncomfortable and like an awkward, wholesome zoo animal. I have no desire to watch it. It’s probably relatable in many ways and stressing that it seems like most of the autistic cast members who are searching for love are wonderful people! But how the show approaches and edits things makes me uneasy and being condescended to.

Please watch these detailed, articulate reviews I stumbled upon if you’d like to learn more: Yo SamdySam review (who enjoyed the show and brought up the need for more neurodiversity, racial diversity, sexual diversity, range of ages and autistic consultation and coaching involved in the production) & Orion Kelly’s episodic reviews on how Season 2 is essentially exploiting rising star of the show (who fits into the typical white autistic male stereotype as seen by neurotypicals and society, has concerning/problematic self centred views & is fixated on getting a trophy wife??) and family show (why do the families have to be involved in the show and with their adult dating lives?).

Based on these reviews, sure it’s probably better media representation of autistic peeps compared to the past but there’s the unbearable focus on how “different” brained, awkward, “quirky”, comical, childlike and weird we are (without going deeper into the whys, the dark side, hardships and day to day struggles of autism, relationships, dynamics and sensory issues in real life), to not be taken seriously and how we should “mask” who we are towards neurotypical standards (I took many years to unlearn and depend less on masking because it emotionally exhausts me and erases/drains me of my own identity!!)

Why is a neurotypical coach involved when it’s mostly dating between autistic people? Will neurotypical audiences genuinely respond this favourably when they actually interact with diverse kinds of autistic people in real life (rather than from behind a screen)? This is not something I want to watch. I don’t know if this show is made for autistic people but it’s definitely not for me. Is this exploitative, manipulative, neurotypical entertainment at the expense of autistic people? Somewhere, I think the line is blurred and crossed :<

Apparently/allegedly they arranged a feedback workshop after season 1 from people and from cast members and disregarded most of them for season 2 :/

I get mixed feelings when lots of people express that they enjoy it (which initially got me interested and curious in the first place). I’m sure it’s sweet and well intentioned as a show but I couldn’t bring myself to watch it even when I first saw Netflix’s season 1 ads and clips (and heavy marketing focus on their main star). Anyhoo I just wanted to express it here since it’s my own blog and I don’t want to grump on people for enjoying it when the show’s underlying issues are not their fault. This is not directed at you, watch what brings you joy and my opinion doesn’t really matter in the end :’)

Anyhoo, I’m tired and existential and always don’t feel good enough. It’s normal; just got to keep managing it.

Let’s just do our best and stay kind with ourselves and our feelings :’)

Thank you so much for reading!

PS: I made a pixivFANBOX as a tip jar alternative to my patreon and ko-fi. Not expecting anything in general plus it’s an entirely different audience. Still it doesn’t hurt to make one and keep options open.

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