Fanart / Sailor Pluto♇ & Sailor Saturn♄ + LeonieUpdate!
In this little LeonieUpdate:
- progress for Sailor Pluto and Saturn!
- personal update on being autistic, countering manipulative narcissists, setting and maintaining boundaries and other interesting finds
Sailor Pluto♇ & Sailor Saturn♄!
Sailor Pluto & Sailor Saturn hair linework
Progress shots & close ups 😀
Little LeonieUpdates time!
- Self care ideas I got from my last post (thank you those who shared!):
- doing some body care to wind down before bedtime
- getting therapy!
- having some kind of routine that includes self care
- self massage with sore and tense areas before going to sleep :’)
- recently learned from an autistic youtuber that it’s better to call myself autistic, not “someone with autism”! :0 Gasp!!
- previously I was referencing general advice that it’s better to focus on the person and not the person’s neurodivergence and/or disabilities. I guess I was wrong when it’s about autism!
- she says being on the spectrum should be part of our identity, not something to be “cured/fixed” whenever people say “with/have autism”. It sounds right and reasonable to me (:
- updated my personal about me page on my evolving social media boundaries
- Counter Manipulation: How to Repel Narcissistic Abuse in Relationships
- I’m keeping these video notes in mind for friendships too
- love-bombing (flowery words and affection that’s too intense)
- tell them to slow down and tone down the intensity as they don’t even know you as a real person and it’s inappropriate
- future faking
- where they promise plans that aren’t appropriate for the current stage of the connection. They won’t follow through with it either. Don’t get hopes and fantasies up with people who are disrespecting you in this way
- bread crumbing
- not get hooked by inconsistent replies, attention and/or affection that are insufficient for your needs and boundaries
- say no and that you’re not interested in “hanging out” and clarify that you’re looking for friendship, an actual date or you’re not interested. Stand up for your boundaries (I need to do better at this!)
- if ignored and ghosted, don’t double message them. Delete their number (or remove them in other forms) so you won’t contact them again. If they ever respond, only respond if they’ve demonstrated that they’d change their behaviour, that it’s a one time thing, they won’t ignore and string you along again. State your expectations, give them consequences and walk away if they keep disrespecting you.
- using the silent treatment to guilt trip and punish you until they get what they want.
- do not tolerate; I’m not going to be around people who do this
- where you’re manipulated to the point where you question your reality! Block them and get away!
- where they provoke a reaction out of you based on your insecurities, personal struggles and weaknesses
- narcissistic rage
- where they lash out, project their issues onto you and blame you
- no contact
- when you cut them out. State that you’re not a good fit, that you value respect, you’re not staying friends and for them to not contact you again
- character assassination
- when they spread lies about you to your loved ones and even community
- where they try to charm and love bomb you to get you back
- it’s great and helpful to have an overall summary of different manipulative behaviours! Goodness there’s a huge range of them :<
- Setting and maintaining boundaries
- I need to keep learning with this! Especially when it comes to standing up for myself. Bear with me as I ramble and think things over :’)
- for one thing, in some cases giving people indefinite time to respond during a conversation is not helping my mental well being – especially when it feels like pulling teeth. I need to reign in my expectations and boundaries. At least I know that they’re not interested in conversation and not bother anymore ;P
- Note I’m not talking about friends who are genuinely checking in, continuing the conversation and asking me considerate, casual questions every handful of weeks or months as the conversation is intentionally brief, self contained and both sides feel truly listened to when they express how they’re going.
- I guess I’m sensitive, hurt, discouraged and not emotionally okay with being ignored and ghosted in general, as much as I want to give people space and understand that people are busy and/or not interested.
- Reminder to myself that I need to see things for what they are, not what I wish they could be, let go and I should accept and respect the rejection and lack of common interests. It happens, silly Leonie with mixed feelings! We’ve all been on both sides ;P
- I need to adjust and state my boundaries, then move on and distance myself from people who consistently let me down, ghost and ignore my messages in this (bread crumbing sort of) pattern. Occasionally they might get back to me several weeks and months later as if nothing was wrong and by then I’ve already been disappointed, hurt and have lost some respect and trust in them.
- Hey it’s my fault here so I’m not blaming anyone. I’m the one who set bad boundaries, ignored my hurt feelings when it gets tested and letting it go on for too long. Huzzah for this personal lesson and to recognise and deal with this better in the future! (:
- Everyone’s In Love With Michael From Love On The Spectrum
- very charming and blunt interview and I didn’t even watch the show!
- I’m glad he’s independently minded and wise! I was conditioned to be the opposite, masked myself much more and just believed what I was told growing up :’)
- I hope he finds a wonderful, compatible partner for him
- How 6 Months of COVID-19 Quarantine Affected Life at Supergiant Games – NoClip
- very insightful and the Supergiant Games peeps seem to be open, hard at work and doing the best they can. I hope their official launch of Hades goes well! The NoClip team did great on this video too!
- I see similar working from home struggles with a few peeps I know. It feels weird and sad when most people are forced to experience what I normally experience as a comfy, isolated hermit. Understandably they’re depressed and restless because they live alone, can’t travel, get outside, socialise with people and/nor do group activities. These are things I rarely do so I don’t fully relate :’) But I do hope they get the emotional support they need, that they can maintain a cosy, reflective, nourishing world at home, stay connected with loved ones and discover wonderful and meaningful things that bring them joy.
- that said – yes I miss good food, going out every few months, catching up with my few friends and have my own pandemic struggles and anxieties too
- Generally I’m lucky that home is my (sort of) safe place for me. I’m so glad that I already work from home as a freelancer (or art learner) because of all the freedom and focus it provides me. I don’t have to emotionally mask myself and my autism anymore when I’m not in an exhausting open office space.
- it’s great when some events and conferences have online versions now because I wouldn’t have gone otherwise (too expensive, far away and/or overwhelming)! :0 I’m going to cherish online events while they’re still available :’)
- Evolution of Disney Duets (Georgia Merry & Jared Halley)
- I forgot to link The Batman DC Teaser – I am intrigued by the edginess and I hope it’s good
- The Comedy about a Bank Robbery performance on Tonight at the Palladium
- Is Success Luck or Hard Work? by Veritasium
- both of course (plus many other internal and external factors)!
- A huge part and head start is luck and privilege, which is then amplified and reinforced by how hard you work at it. Luck isn’t everything and putting in hard work doesn’t even guarantee success. Some food for thought!
Phew! Thank you so much for reading!
May you have a good week ahead and wow, September is tomorrow! It’s Spring (or Autumn for Northern Hemisphere peeps)! :0
Sending lots of goodness and energy your way! I need it too haha :’)