In this MondayLeonieUpdate:

• Sailor Moon & Sailor Mars!
• personal update + facial mask sheet
• PlayStation 5 showcase thoughts
• reflecting about having autism continues:
  • the checklist for Autism in Ladies
  • + learned helplessness
  • + my thoughts on a well researched information booklet about building close friendships
• interesting finds:
  • Final Fantasy VII remake bits
  • + Tim Minchin
  • + Anthony Padilla’s “I spent a day with ???” videos
  • + Paper Mario: The Origami King Trailer 2 thoughts & more
• Animal Crossing & gaming update!

Sailor Moon🌙 & Sailor Mars♂️!

The rivals! I usually found Mars annoying as a kid, as much as she’s a sexy, fan favourite ;D But she’s super cool and a great, loyal friend :0

Anyhoo I wanted to do another take at these sailor scouts! They’re fun to illustrate! 😀

Other illustrations of this set: Sailor Moon & Mars, Sailor Mercury & Jupiter, Sailor Venus, Sailor Pluto & Saturn & Sailor Uranus & Neptune

Work in Progress & close up shots!

---

Personal Update time!

• I got contacted to apply for an environment concept art position and I had to turn it down.
  • they were kind and flattering to even think of me as a good fit but from my work it’s evident that I don’t do or enjoy creating and illustrating environments :’)
  • I’m not even sure if they even looked at my work when it’s full of character illustrations and fanart haha
• Leonie finally tries another facial mask!
  • I tried a tea tree oil pore clearing face mask sheet
  • it feels super cool, cold, packed with the fluids, relaxing and nice!
  • I’m not a knowledgeable super skin care/make up person but it feels good taking care of your skin (:
  • am continuing to try facial masks in the order they expire
• I’m looking for a good tea infuser as a gift for my brother (and one for myself of course!)
  • let me know if you have recommendations and for tea! I haven’t been serious with tea as I usually just go for teabag + cup really (green, black or chamomile tea)
  • I think I need help with relaxing before I go to sleep because I feel so tense and I struggle to relax :<
• Started and didn’t have time to finish The WIZ Live!
  • b-but Aunt Em was just right there and then BAM! The tornado hahaha
  • goodness the costumes are so nice and colourful 😀
  • shall finish it another time when I’m not so slow, busy & lacking sleep :<
• note that I finalise blog posts the night before and morning as usual so apologies for the writing mess (past, present and future)!

PlayStation 5: The Future of Gaming

Watched the recorded event even though I barely play any PS games. Just assume that I’ll watch playthroughs instead because I don’t have limitless time, interest and money for playing games :’)

I also watched the PCGaming stream and bits of the GamesRadar stream. There’s some promising things there too but I’m not bothered going through them in depth 😛 They’re so long!!

They did promote the Bundle for Racial Justice and Equality though! Goodness so many games for a great cause!

For the Playstation 5 stream, some that stood out to me:

• first up, lots of games are generic with gameplay, even though the story and the visuals are promising
• cool that there’s more indie representation here

• Grand Theft Auto 5 expanded?
  • I guess it’s a gigantic, good game that keeps making them money :0 It’s a weird way to start the fancy PlayStation event though with an old game
• Hey Spiderman Miles Morales!! Cool 😀
• Rachet and Clank Rift Apart
  • visually looks good and a mysterious lady Rachette?
  • huge amounts of motion blur and lots of things happening on the screen that it’s making me glaze over D:
• Project Athia
  • cinematic, supernatural, fantasy new game with dragons?
• Stray
  • cyberpunk robot story game? You play as a cute cat!! 😀
  • intriguing great stylised robot world!!
• Eh I don’t care about the console. It looks okay?
  • it looks like a router stand and they don’t even show the price so people can just hype about the games instead before they reveal it later :’)
• Returnal
  • Prometheus game? Sci-fi, space groundhog day with death? :0
• Sackboy A Big Adventure game?
  • Sackgirl Miku? Looks neat but not for me. I haven’t played these games before so I have no emotional attachment
• Destruction AllStars
  • Destruction derby and rocket league vibes? Visually it looks good but I’m definitely not the target audience
• Kena Bridge of Spirits
  • fantasy Zelda-like game
  • pretty and has combat, made by a two brother studio
  • Pixar movie? Cute and dark fantasy creatures? Looks great so far :0
• Goodbye Volcano High
  • it’s definitely different game that stands out from the lineup
  • has dinosaur/furry characters, experiencing coming of age in high school :0
  • dinosaurs waiting for the meteor to hit and face extinction?
  • there’s some concerning controversy surrounding the writer for this game due to them writing an uncomfortable, problematic kotaku article last year.
    • turns out we were following each other (as I thought they seemed cool) :<
    • I’m feeling mixed upon finding out about this now and I don’t know for sure if I should trust that they will do better from here, given that it’s telling that it’s taken a year for them to publicly acknowledge and make a general apology, making no excuses on the whole article, speaking about it only when their game about coming of age teenagers is out in the open since this PS5 event and I’m not even sure they understood and specified what, why and how exactly they were apologising for. I hope they do :S
    • I’m going to give things time, wait and see with the benefit of the doubt before I make any decisions. Perhaps I need to get some space away until I feel I can trust them in the future. Not sure if I have the full picture since I’m too uncomfortable to actually read the article though I did see the problematic things picked out :< Either way eventually I’ll clean out my twitter friends list again since I don’t really check my feed anyway :’)
  • I also feel bad for the artists for this game as many people were not comfortable with it, the niche art style and the game felt super out of place in the event
  • it’s not my cup of tea so when I first saw it, I was surprised
• OddWorld Soulstorm game
  • goodness I played one of the OddWorld games (I think the first one) and it stressed me out from controlling other characters and myself, making sure they all don’t die so I quit playing :’)
  • after ages in development, they’re finally bringing it back for OddWorld fans I guess!
• Ghostwire: Tokyo
  • hey the cool looking game based in Japan Tokyo :0
  • lots of visually busy fights with both supernatural and digital beings?
  • this is so different from what I’ve seen last time – unfortunately it’s not an intriguing psychological thriller anymore 🙁
• Jett the Far Shore
  • iconic hands statue and rocket launch?
  • interesting Journey kind of feel and visuals
• Solar Ash
  • pretty, cool stylised visuals and Breath of the wild vibes by the Hyper Light Drifter people
  • not sure how deep the gameplay is yet
• Hitman 3 – uh visually looks nice, another hitman game yep
• Astro’s Playroom??
  • robot platforming tech demo, robots doing weird, suggestive gestures for some reason?
• Little Devil Inside
  • sweet stylised art, sweet character designs and silly poop joke?
  • confused and intrigued with the tone of game
  • I know peeps who have backed this years ago, glad it’s finally popped up again
  • I might play it but not sure :S
• NBA2K21 basketball sports HD sweat
• BugSnax
  • walking strawberries and weird food creatures by the people behind OctoDad :0
  • it’s intentionally named so that it’s misheard as ButtSex???
• Demon’s Souls Remake – amazing landscapes and visuals
• DeathLoop
  • Rival assassins fight each other
  • Dishonored + We Happy Few + BioShock vibes of course
  • silly, cool looking, time loop game shooter game?
• Resident Evil 8 Village – mysterious vibes with Ethan and Chris!
• Pragmata
  • supernatural shenanigans, a robot/holographic girl & I don’t know what’s happening :0
• Horizon 2 Forbidden West
  • it’s another open world AAA game – it’s a generic gameplay template with different story really :’)
  • lots of trees and great cinematic
  • cool digital eastern dragon!
  • for these kinds of AAA open world games I’m tired of the gameplay, I’m just there for the visuals, performances and hopefully good story ;P

Reflecting about having autism & building friendships section

• Autistic Person Reacts to “Do all Autistic People Think the Same?”
  • wholesome video!! I feel super validated and relate to feeling isolated, socially confused & inept and lonely throughout most of my life :’)
  • short answer: we share similar struggles but don’t necessarily think the same as we’re all individuals with different traumas, upbringings, privileges and experiences
• Checklist for Asperger’s Autism in Ladies | Going Over the Samantha Craft Unofficial Checklist [list here]
  • I do fear that I’m oversharing here and things will be used against me to hurt me. But I write this blog anyway :’) Hey most people don’t care to read ;P
  • goodness I relate to a lot (not all) on this list! I won’t go through them all as it’s super long, exhausting and too personal to cover here
• Learned Helplessness and Autism
  • yeah I’ve been conditioned to not bother trying, to be rejected and not be listened to
  • shall keep learning to be more assertive when I feel it’s worth my time to trust and invest into somebody
• Autistic Reacts to Anthony Padilla’s I Spent A Day with Autistic People
• Autistic & Neurotypical Relationship Tips
  • indeed it requires effort on both sides! I feel the video is useful for friendships too 😀
  • gosh there’s so many times where I understood what was spoken differently and did the “wrong” thing ;P Consequently I keep asking “dumb” questions to make sure I’m on the same page because I give up trying to read minds and subtlety
• 3 Qualities of Lasting Friendships (Making & Keeping Autistic Friends)
  • Keeping close friends when you’re an adult – a great, well researched pdf by Aussies that gives advice on this, especially in a world with less structure and more isolation! Do have a read for yourself!
  • shall summarise what I like from it here:
  • Quality 1) we need many things in common beyond the common group we’re in & need multiple ways to connect
    • agreed as I lean towards intense 1 to 1 connections and if there’s nothing much to talk about in terms of interests and activities then let’s not waste each other’s time :<
    • how you need to share lots of values, activities, life stage and interests
      • well almost everyone isn’t compatible because I’m a hermit who just talks about learning, making art, reflecting on life and watching video games :’)
    • treat small talk conversations as a treasure hunt for these connections – gosh that’s hard! It needs to come from a genuine place too! :S
    • cultivate ongoing deep emotional bonds with each other
    • lots of engagement and interest in each other’s lives
    • actively look for ways to hang out with each other and invest into each other
    • let them in, reassure and ask each other about their lives, even if schedules and priorities are different due to life changes
  • Quality 2) good/close friendships are built from small, continuing acts and cycles of bravery, risks of rejection, asking for help, leaning on someone, strengthening relationship, sharing something, having positive interactions, reassuring and building trust so that you can rely on each other over time
    • involves a lot of vulnerability and opening up about each other’s struggles in small ways
    • many cycles of “small requests for connection” (bids) and accepting them. Bids include questions, gestures, compliments, jokes, favours, greetings, comments, acknowledgement, just listening, practical or emotional help and so on
    • when bidding, please do so without being overwhelming, intense and pressuring someone to get what you want and/or expecting reciprocity. Not everyone wants to get that close, wants to progress at the the rate you want and/or is as compatible as you think
    • gosh I do debrief and ramble with a trusted buddy after having anxiety-ridden social interactions!! I get emotional support and it feel less lonely – really helps! :’)
    • the bond grows even further when one helps the other through a tough crisis or period in their lives in solidarity and support
    • inviting people you value into your gatherings means a lot too because it’s a sign that you want to keep them in your life (:
      • Gosh who could have thought!! Haha it’s obvious but not normal for me at all because I usually avoid group gatherings :’)
    • where you can feel comfortable and be yourselves with each other and talk about real struggles and mundane day to day stuff (aw wholesome!!)
    • how you need to make sure to keep in regular contact in whatever shape or form to show you care, still think about them and you still want to connect with trust and commitment
      • maybe “likes” count somewhat because it shows that you’re there, consciously supporting and acknowledging them and you read their posts! It’s appreciated way to show that you’re listening and/or supporting. All the same it’s passive and low effort and doesn’t’ progress the connection much and just keeps it to the same level :S
      • I think I leave things for months and even years and it feels like I’ve lost them and let them go
      • especially as a hermit so most people are not really in my life so if I do anything it’s usually out of my comfort zone :S
      • I’m glad and grateful I have stronger bonds with my one regular gaming buddy through online gaming catch ups 😀
    • hm perhaps I need to do occasional little messages for people I want to stay connected with and who I trust (since most people don’t reach out, email nor comment at my blog or posts) 🙁
  • Quality 3) close growing friendships need to be bigger than themselves (not limited to work or a group)
    • making time to do catch ups is important outside of group/work things! Wow I need reminding but it’s hard when everyone else does group social things and I do not want that :’)
    • hm what the booklet says about balancing intention (to connect) and air (activity, game, movie, food, hike, etc) is interesting
    • interesting points about “re-potting” friendships towards shared meaningful structure and connection too!
    • rhythm and structure are needed in friendships
    • lasting friendships have an “everyday” quality to it – that’s what I miss and I’m glad I have this with a few people, online or not :’)
      • this involves weekly, monthly or every other month regular catchups, conversation and/or communication! REGULAR and scheduled!! Huge emphasis because it’s so rare :’)
  • sure I enjoy solitary activities and am overwhelmed with social groups altogether but online communication has made things much more manageable, less lonely and more emotionally healthier! So thank you for reading even!!
  • the pdf is very interesting study for a more connected, compassionate world and communities through friendship
  • still if I’m the last one to reach out a number times and they’re not consistently replying and are overwhelmed with life things, then I let them go and give them indefinite space.
    • the cycle is broken and I don’t like pressuring or annoying anybody if they’re not interested enough to reach out to continue where we left off and connect with me too :’)
    • I don’t like chasing somebody all the the time as it feels uneven – you need both interested and invested parties to keep a conversation and connection going
  • ultimately friendships continues to be hard to maintain, juggle, invest into and build :’)
  • I’ll just be more mindful whenever I want to reach out or if somebody reaches out :0

Interesting finds

• Final Fantasy VII Remake in a nutshell Part 1 – fun recap video!
• Final Fantasy Chocobo Theme (Rubber Chicken Cover by Chickensan) ;D
• Storm by Tim Minchin [animated version] – started watching old Tim Minchin videos and this story is pretty good :’)
• finished watching a playthrough of Cloudpunk
  • not perfect, alright voice acting and very tropey, predictable choices but good game, cyberpunk world and story
  • goodness seeing the voxel art – yes characters are not meant to be seen up close
• Blake McGrath – Let You Love Me – ft Sean Lew & Kaycee Rice
  • lovely, heartfelt, intimate, platonic love dance between good friends (:
• New Zealand’s keeping it real online ad series [on porn, grooming, inappropriate content, bullying]
  • gotta enjoy that NZ humour ;D
  • educating about having no shame nor blame but just understanding and education (:
• Lucky Grandma Trailer – intrigued but not sure if I’ll watch
• Anthony Padilla’s “I spent a day with Multiple Alters/Personalities (Dissociative identity disorder)
  • wholesome & kind interviews
  • learning a little bit more about different experiences (:
  • started to watch some of DissocialDID’s videos because they seem to be an incredible system of brave people
  • this Dissociative Identity Simulation was also enlightening and fascinating to see alters represented with actors! How they work with each other for their system!
• Anthony Padilla’s “I spent a day with Tourette Syndrome Sufferers”
• Anthony Padilla’s “I spent a day with Asexuals” – hey it’s neat plus I am a heteroromantic asexual myself so I relate lots ;D
  • gosh I watched some more in this series and then stopped because it’s another internet rabbit hole :<
  • saw anime voice actors, famous youtube gamers, legendary OG youtubers, emos, ex-cult members, asian americans and a few others before stopping :’)
• Final Fantasy VII in a nutshell complete edition
• A Closer Look at Paper Mario: The Origami King
  • hmm I feel that the battle ring is just another annoying, tedious step from actually hitting the enemy; I hope I get proven wrong!
  • promising, wonderful, cute art and scenarios!
  • if they’re really trying to change the rpg gameplay, please make it a puzzle adventure game instead :<
  • the companions are generic, temporary party members and not on par with Thousand Year Door unfortunately :<
  • I hope this game is alright; at worst I might just watch instead if the gameplay is too tedious for me from the reviews 🙁

Winter in Animal Crossing & game shenanigans!

Aw seeing snow in Animal Crossing is so lovely!! We don’t actually get snow in Australia (unless you’re an outdoor soul and you ski in the mountains) so it was so cool seeing things in white snow and ghostly green fauna!!

I also had my first turnip big spike price in the past week and told a small handful of AC peeps. Sadly I missed out and didn’t buy any turnips of my own to take advantage of 490 each bell 🙁 Two friends manged to turn up on time and left me kind tips though! 😀

I didn’t reach out to much people because there was only a few hours left and most people were unavailable in the morning, can’t turn up at short notice and/or don’t really check discord. Also I don’t want to open it up to everyone – it’s my own little island after all :0

Finally from here I’m going to cut AC dailies down to just anniversary photos, gift giving and making snowfolk! I lose track of time and end up spending 3-5 hours doing dailies because of trees, rocks, fossils, flower breeding, decoration management, farming for materials, shopping, tree shaking and so on. Gah!! I get carried away :<

I need to get some time back :’)

Thank you for reading about my past week!! 😀

Hey if you need to understandably minimise using social media, twitter, facebook and instagram for your own mental health and well being but still would like to keep updated with my blog, feel free to get weekly email digest updates! This is only if you’re interested, so that you don’t miss out from the sea of social media and if it works better for you to just get one email digest a week on Mondays.

As for me, I’m just not using facebook at all, checks emails, lurks at discord and only looks at notifications/replies on instagram and twitter ;D Things are getting super busy in coming weeks too so oh dear my sleep schedule!! :<

Anyhoo, please stay safe, open-minded and kind during this week <3

---