In this little LeonieUpdate:

• process for my fanart ;D
• personal update about not taking long breaks from art, art making, habits, maybe doing casual youtube videos again and interesting finds

Sailor Mercury☿️ & Sailor Jupiter♃ checking out what love is!

Hehe more sailor scouts and love hearts! Yep I’m making more for a set ;D

Work in Progress & close up shots!

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Little LeonieUpdates!

• It’s less about recapping the past week now and more about interesting finds but these LeonieUpdates are usually on Mondays still haha! It’s probably because this is when the email blog digest goes out
• Dealing with feelings of shame from narcissistic relationships
  • yep sometimes I’m ashamed when I know I don’t have a healthy family dynamic. Sometimes I envy people who have great family bonds and upbringing. Getting told that everyone’s family is somewhat dysfunctional doesn’t make me feel better :’)
• Tales from TheVarus – Internet Historian
  • he sums up the covid19 lockdown in a pretty interesting, amusing way
• Why Ratatouille is Pixar’s Magnum Opus
  • lots of food for thought. Though personally I like other Pixar movies better ;P
• Tim Minchin opens up the 2020 TV BAFTAs about 2020 and the BAFTAs
  • Carry You by Tim Minchin – I don’t know the context of the song but it was melancholic and nice
• Interesting, deep and thoughtful The Last of Us Part 2 Review by Matthewmatosis where he focuses solely on the game and story.
  • brings up how games are more of a cinematic experience over giving players agency, control and deeper gameplay consequences. It doesn’t really expand upon the gameplay side of things in an unique way that involves the player
  • that’s why I usually watch games instead because they’re so similar to movies (or it’s something I don’t usually play) :’)
• Being on The Spectrum and Relationships (Love on the Spectrum)
  • Aww :’) Relate to a lot of their feelings! Especially with misreading social cues all the time and unrequited feelings
  • Rules for Dating (tips really) – I agree with the last person, that it’s about enjoying someone’s company really and how much I’d want to spend time with them on an ongoing basis
  • I’m getting recommended these videos and I watch them out of curiosity but I’m not stressed about dating and relationships right now ;P

On not taking terribly long breaks from art and making sure I’m doing studies as a regular habit

• I have autism so I tend to focus completely on one thing/task or I procrastinate until I feel ready to get it done.
  • Breaking things up into smaller chunks and switching tasks a lot takes more time for me to get in the right headspace for each one. Consequently I often burnout with life in general :’)
• I’ve accepted burnouts as the norm so I’m always learning how to best minimise it. So far I do this by focusing and progressing at one or so art things a day.
• when I take super long breaks from art and studies it takes ages to mentally get ready and driven to get back at it again.
  • this is especially when I get rusty with my skills, feel artistically lost, insecure and have been enjoying my break so much because I don’t often take time off as it is
  • essentially I feel mixed with long breaks – they’re much needed for the sake of mental and physical recovery but I don’t want to get rusty at art haha
  • I do believe that your headspace plays a huge part in creating art. A lot of creativity is hindered and/or supported by your mental health and well being
  • my personal mental health hurdle is often managing my self doubts, fears and insecurities with my art skills, my work, career, relationships with people and life :’)
• instead of long breaks (not that I can afford “vacations” or full weekends off anyway) – making small breaks more often, part of the day/week and shorter makes things less risky.
  • It becomes part of my routine to sustainably balance my life better (I hope!) :0
• pomodoro timers and strict time schedules (especially for creative things) don’t really work for me because my brain tends to want to slow down against that and it stresses me out
  • I work loosely in < 1 hour chunks of time instead and I only take breaks away from the computer when I need a toilet break or life shenanigans :’)
  • I’m sad because I’m unable to fit studies in the morning, during lunch breaks or during evenings like some artists do – I’m busy during those times with life shenanigans and art is not something I can just switch gears and squeeze into doing during the little breaks of my day. I need to get into that focused, deep headspace first and that takes a while. And I need those breaks in the day for my own general mental health too! :<
  • I’d rather not force art into every free time available. Instead I think, plan and/or write notes during my little breaks sometimes :0
  • hey I don’t check social media much; probably a few minutes on days I don’t post and 10-20 minutes on days that I do :0 So all I need to manage is youtube and twitch haha
  • maybe one day I’ll be able to doodle whenever I like without being existential, lost, doubtful and sadly staring into the canvas!
    • going with the flow with a flexible plan without overthinking things is more fun and works better ;P
  • I’m more of a “get the important thing done first” person. This means getting my daily habits done each day at my own pace and then I’m good! (:
  • I tend to lose track of time with the task I’m doing in the moment and become absentminded with everything else so it’s something I strive to be mindful of :0
  • Or I ask for help in getting kind reminders and to keep myself accountable haha
• giving myself unstructured, loosely planned art time helps me do art at a more relaxed pace, at the risk of being unfocused sometimes.
  • I’m already under stricter and time sensitive routines for other life things! I don’t need more added stress with art! :’)
  • I get sleepier after lunch so I give myself leeway for the afternoon :0
  • just focusing on creating, learning and sharing <3
• allowing myself breaks during the week is important and sometimes I’m just not as productive and that’s okay. I’ll try again tomorrow!
• currently I’m trying to make and learn art everyday or so.
  • testing ways to make studies a more regular part of my life so look out for that!
  • as long as I’m progressing and putting some reasonable time in, I’ll be checking it off as a good art habit done ^o^

This is what I’ve been thinking over in the past few weeks as I’m trying to get myself studying again. Am slowly easing into it with small steps thankfully! A lot of staring at the screen and feeling lost, insecure and existential was involved haha :’)

How do you juggle with personal development and learning on top of everything else? How would you fit it into your day or week? What is the best time of the day for learning for you and why? There’s no wrong answer of course! :0

I might do casual Youtube videos again! Leonie thinks aloud:

In the past few weeks I was thinking of making audio versions of my reflective blog topics at Youtube to get more “reach” and to stay on track when I work but then I remembered that high production youtube videos can take lots of planning, editing and recording work. I did consider the low effort approach of just talking over a process video once again (a lot of artists do this) but I don’t know if youtube is worth it to me or for anyone.

I enjoy writing at my blog regardless of whether lots of people are reading but for youtube I get anxious, negative and insecure about getting more views and subscribers (let alone how I edit my recordings, what art to show, my dot point script and how I speak). Not a healthy mindset to have for me! :< I need to desensitise myself, make videos more casual, low effort and practice rambling verbally again!

Or am I just finding more activities and ways to take away time for studying and art? :’) All the same if I record myself doing studies, it minimises distractions because I’m recording!! Hmm! :0

Yes I’m not a fan of streaming and doing art – too much performance anxiety for me! Youtube videos are more manageable for me :’)

If I do end up doing and testing casual Youtube videos again, it’s going to be me rambling about a worthwhile topic that comes with the blog post. My videos are intended to reach new people and to lead people to my blog posts (if they want to read and see more about the art too instead of listening to me). Consequently I’ll keep sharing my blog post and won’t directly post these videos on social media; I’ll embed the video in the blog post instead. Videos won’t be a frequent thing as I’ll only do it with selective topics.

This is not fully set in stone as I’m just typing my thoughts aloud here and it’s all subject to change as I work things out. Right now I just want to keep it low effort and casually part of my workflow where possible. If I don’t actually do this any time soon or at all, it means I’m not ready yet haha :’)

If you’re keen on such casual videos, please let me know and/or subscribe to my little Youtube channel (only if you want to)! Stressing that reading only my blog is just as great and appreciated too! (:

Good day to you and thank you for reading!

Digressing! Thank you again! <3 During these uncertain times, please stay kind, safe and well!

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