Hoy it’s more poses! No I still haven’t played the game :’) part 1

I am slowly going through my game backlog…

I drew lots ;D I probably shouldn’t fully render for every piece because it’s time consuming :<

Leonie rambles about…

• Stumbled upon What Happens When Evil Wins (Second Thought) – CW politics, tragic world events
• You should be a YouTuber. (or Artist/Creator) (by NeatOnTheRocks)
  • I don’t know who this is, but uplifting message and food for thought on about how manipulative and exhausting youtube and social media can be :’)
  • though I stopped watching HealthyGamerGG/DrK for a few years because I’ve moved on because I got tired of some of the interviewed influencers/streamers that were involved in a lot of drama and also there was a thing with Dr K’s company and the allegations with payment, contracts and their coaches – not sure if resolved since it’s been years? I don’t remember.
  • what is your purpose that brings you joy and meaning?
  • I just want to enjoy, express myself and make things – always figuring it out how I’d want to do it
• Debunking DAVOS Conspiracies (Ordinary Things)
• Fanblue Grantasy Rises: Versing Final Trailer (April Fools) is incredible By AC-bu/AC Club
  • the website (JP)
  • Hellshake Yano
  • Another amazing performance of 9 years ago
• GO! Team BIPPA / A Pokemon Miku song with subtitles
• Scientists warn Australians to prepare for megadroughts lasting more than 20 years / Researchers say parts of Australia should be prepared for a megadrought in “10 or so years” (ABC News: Giulio Saggin)
  • nooo not another megadrought; this is adding to my anxiety towards using water 🙁
  • I vaguely remember the previous drought – it was stressful and hard
• Learning how increasingly terrible webtoons contracts are; good thing I’ve moved on ages ago and I don’t know why they still randomly autoemail me – no I don’t want to come back to update my ol’ personal comic at your site :<

I was anxious and doom spiraling about my future and as an artist and being frustrated with social media and generative AI / Got me searching

• These are the jobs most likely to be lost – and created – because of AI
  • I just skimmed and didn’t really feel like there’s options for me as I am not an engineer
  • not that engineers aren’t also forced to adapt all the time
• Generative AI: How will it affect future jobs and workflows? I didn’t read all of this and it’s a podcast transcript
  • growing: healthcare jobs, STEM jobs, transportation jobs, delivery
  • people need reskilling/upskilling/support: customer service, food service, production or manufacturing, and office support + affects all spectrums of jobs
  • transitioning jobs is 14 times more likely for those with lower wage jobs versus higher wage jobs apparently
  • but the last section on the reinvention road map: search, struggle, stop, solution was some food for thought and good reminders:
    • that failing iteratively is the way to go (oof it’s hard)
    • transformation takes a long time with lots of struggle
    • you do your best to move forward
  • you don’t have to have an absolute plan of where you want to go
  • just explore what your future will end up along the way??
  • I guess so but it is still terrifying
• Gen AI is here to stay — here are 5 skills to help you stay relevant in the changing job market
  • they list skillsets?? Including: analytical thinking, creative thinking, leadership and social influence (people skills), AI/big data, curiosity and lifelong learning, adaptability
  • hmm…I struggle or don’t have a lot of these because I am a sensitive ball of stress and I will burn out when it comes to leadership and social influence
  • not sure about AI/big data
  • I can keep learning (slowly) the other things…?
• change is scary and my brain is spiraling – it’s terrifying as I don’t want to be forced to put into a situation that burns me out again + also as a sensitive autistic artist :’)
  • figuring out how I should adapt and how I should learn the things I still want to learn (even if it’s still 2D/art)
  • hustling is so exhausting especially when I struggle to know when I’m allowed to slow down…I don’t feel like I can because of how volatile things are and you’re just doing the lottery for social media/self promotion plus good work is needed especially, just to hopefully build an audience/community
  • I end up burning out :’)
• technically I’m not really making a living from my 2D art itself but my patreon helps and supports towards my blog :’)
  • if I really was in it only for money or fame or whatever then I shouldn’t even be doing art, videos, streaming or other creative things :’)
  • I do hope to survive alright with life things, health and finances without too much stress 🙁
• when people say Glaze won’t protect art in the long run – it saddens me

Is Foamstars Even Ethical? (Captain Astronaut) – well spoken video on AI images, plagiarism, etc with games and creative fields

Nathan Fowkes: Staying Relevant

• artist talk on trying to find gaps, do emotional storytelling and find ways to be useful :’)
• “future of ai art will be so emotionally engaging that it will become a problem, so that people will avoid the engaging art altogether. I think the run for peoples emotions will be in vain, they are already addicted to the algorithms, and it will only get worse” – commenter
  • it feels like MrBeast again when everything is optimised to grab your attention and/or get you emotional in the story
  • but are ai generated images emotional or is it only so if you can’t tell whether a human created it? :<
• it does feel like desperation and many artists are chasing and scrambling for ways to survive – including me :’)
• I do feel I need to do storytelling but not solely in a manipulative/maximising emotions and engagement kind of way as that feels soulless and not genuine
• I’ve been existential for a long while though…
• the anxiety comes up in waves and I’m afraid of drowning and spiraling 🙁

Social Media is Burning | 2024 Artist Update (Inkwell Ft @vonnart )

• they say only use mainstream places so twitter, instagram and youtube and in person things??
  • Smaller platforms aren’t worth it due to lack of mainstream reach?
• their advice is to not do social media and sell things and products at conventions oof that’s not me
  • people do not want to buy my merch based on my ol’ sticker past but who knows
  • I do not have as much large conventions like the US does :/
• everyone is suffering with social media and we are on the burning ship together
  • haha jokes aside – please we/I don’t want to sink…yet I’m clinging on 🙁
• change is constant and we just don’t know what’s next – constantly on my toes I guess for all of us~!
• I want people to follow my blog directly but I’m not getting new peeps so nope on that one haha
  • I can’t force anybody to get my emails/blog updates – giving out freebies for email subscribing means they’re there for the freebies and not for my updates :/
  • so I’m grateful for the few people who are along for my journey for years – thank you! :’)
• just focus on what you’re excited in making, being an artist matters most
  • I agree with this and have been always juggling to find ways to make it work for me…and most don’t really go anywhere beyond finishing a piece
  • I’m even slowing down with my peach fanart and the other fanart I have planned because I don’t want to push myself towards burnout!!
  • just post and then move on…?

Why Professional Artists HATE Social Media in 2024 (mewtripled)

• that’s why as much as I enjoy youtube, I don’t want to go too deep into maximising everything and making videos
  • I don’t want to do too much scripting/planning/editing, I don’t want to show my face, there’s also figuring out a persona and fancy camera work…they’re time consuming and not my main focus
  • there’s so much work to do as seen in the video checklist she lists (if you’re trying to do higher production/value videos)
  • even this very blog is a lot and involves a lot of proofreading on the day of publishing haha
  • a lot of pressure
  • video editing can be fun though, it’s just a lot of work and time
• I refuse to show my face (I don’t even do webcam) and do all that high video production work…
  • I need to protect my joy and how I make art :’)
  • I have my toony Leonie though!
  • I don’t want to be a vlogger – I have tried it randomly
  • I’m already a blogger
• how competitive it is even though all I wanted is to share and reach people with my art :’)
  • indeed the numbers matter when you are trying to make income from social media / become more business minded
  • and how it affects your mindset and mental health
  • views and likes matter more than the number of subscribers though (depending if you reach monetisation requirements) because algorithms are more about recommending things people would watch based on past viewing behaviours and not who they follow :’)
• true, there is getting over the fact and discomfort that you’re self promoting as you’re sharing your work :’)
  • I don’t think I am sponsor friendly at this blog at least! I’m too “honest”/tmi within reason here
  • I do get emails asking to do guest articles or redo my whole website but their emails were formatted suspiciously so they don’t count
• I just want to make and learn art…
• we’re all doing the best we can
• 004 – How do I get over the FOMO of quitting social media? Calm Creative Podcast by Louise
  • it’s more about knowing from your own personal experiences if it’s actually worth it for you
  • trusting/valuing your time and efforts
  • I’m not quitting as I’m a hermit and it depends on what I can do with my low energy and capacity
• I tried dedicating a night making shorts and I don’t like the whole uploading process and editing it to make the video recognisable as a video…
  • I went back to making short youtube videos instead even though they’re similarly as short…
  • still shorts are how people reach you…
  • at the same time, youtube is not showing my latest shorts to people so it really does feel like a slot machine
  • I don’t feel valued with shorts…instagram seems to like it?? :S

SHOW ME YOUR SKETCHBOOK, BRO! (Toniko Pantoja skit)

• that’s why I don’t want to show my messy sketchbook – it’s meant to be for me and ugly
  • it’s done on ol’ math worksheets
• I don’t want to show things that are for me; I don’t show everything I do
• I get quiet and not sure how to respond most of the time as either I get silence, polite words or compliments when I did show my sketchbook at sketching events many, many years ago
• confidence gets destroyed when the excessive compliment/worship/bragging/comparison happens
• artist social things – a lot of insecurity rises because the artists with the bigger projects and/or audience get more people chasing/talking after them (understandably so!)
  • for me it can be hard to know if it’s clout chasing or genuine ahhhh
  • only time will tell but the encounters are so brief – how can I ever tell when people just move on from each other? It’s at best admiring what people do and then it usually doesn’t go beyond that
  • I’ve given up having an art buddy…artists and people overall are complex, juggling our own things and come and go too :’)
  • there’s also times when someone is more acting out of desperation, not because they’re genuine so they’re forcing themselves into things they don’t fit (I’ve done it too many times oof)
  • like people who are approaching me and giving me their business card/reaching out to me in an attempt to find a job from me but then they don’t have much beyond this to build an actual connection besides vague words (they’re doing their best and I understand and have been in their position) :’)
  • it’s definitely not equal in dynamics and it makes me uncomfortable on my end since I’m also struggling to adapt and figuring out my own art career…I guess it never ends for us
  • I do feel somewhat used but hey it’s also about paying it forward if you can since we all started somewhere
  • I don’t think I can do much and feel helpless since I am not an art director, struggle with giving portfolio reviews (I can’t be my blunt self because I wouldn’t want that myself either – I need to process and figure out the words to be more encouraging and also I need to know someone’s art and career goals, how they work and not what they think would impress me)
    • but I am interested in seeing what people are working on
  • most artists and devs I tried to “network” with in the past don’t really care for my art in a job sense either or there’s just no jobs available so it definitely hurts :’)
  • times are always hard in some form or another :<

Wow I tried stricter restrictions on twitter but I loosened it back to crossposting

• I’m not active on social media anyway
• it is exhausting and draining to do the engagement thing and I don’t want to share opinions/hot takes
• I don’t want to prove I exist at those platforms – need to be more selective so at best/as usual it’s crossposting and juggling these platforms!
• the things you enjoy aren’t necessarily what people like…
• interesting that some people unfollowed when I posted this twitter thread :’)
• I definitely do have the fear that I’ll be forced to quit art as a career entirely – I refuse that reality :’)
• I am trying to make bluesky where I post a bit more random thoughts but it’s definitely small and quiet – I need to find more accounts to follow somehow
  • not taking bluesky too seriously
• I don’t trust threads as I get recommended really biased people who are already thriving there while I struggle on another platform/void again :/
• gosh it is really bad only 30-90 people see my posts on instagram and 80-120 impressions on twitter but instagram has more engagement than twitter oof 0 it’s not worth me feeling bummed about these platforms!!

Personal things

• Also I finally finished Pikmin 4!! Brilliant game!! Finally!!! 😀
• I also rushed through the Warioware: Move it! (neat spoiler thing)
  • I didn’t like it and it was frustrating instead of fun…I’m bummed about it
  • most of the games – I didn’t know what I was supposed to do and I just game overed every level and kept at it until I finished 🙁
  • there was promise but frustration took over and I just wanted the game to be over
• started Ride On! horse solitare game too!
• did a mega clean day due to maintenance…and the tradie lied he washed his hands after using the toilet ew
• right after actually changed bed covers since…over a year or two or more?? Don’t remember it’s been too long and it’s exhausting changing it all :’)
  • yes not something I’m proud of and it’s gross the more I dwell on it
  • lots of things get/got neglected as it felt too much for everyone and also another big family issue I won’t go into
  • I’m glad I’m sleeping in clean bed covers at last…
  • slowly making baby sized efforts to figure out things and learn…and procrastinate :’)
• also I need to figure out how to clean out years of mould from grout
  • figure out how to use scary poison/bleach noooooo
• also I started attempts to disinfect a few places weekly at the least…and slowly increase the number of places as I get used to it – no one else wanted to do it, especially the toilet
• also things breaking apart…oof
• I guess I’m in charge of the dysfunctional shower and toilet….
• lots of figuring out life things and it’ll be at a snail’s pace as I attempt to read too much, learning things :<
• I’m always anxious that I’ll mess up or miss out or continue to fail as an adult with lacking the basic life skills

I probably too hard on myself but there’s so many things other people do well, have and who do have a extended family and friends to depend on that I don’t have. And admiring people who are brave to do the overwhelming things! I feel like teamwork is needed if we wanted to juggle everything in life…

---