VectorBurpQuest 5, Beauty and the Beast Studies, Shooty Skies Comic, Blocking myself from Social Media more & Breath of the Wild Zelda Spoiler Rambles so far [MAR2017]
Leonie’s small blog island says hullo! (:
>> Edit Nov 2018: All the formatting for this blog post is broken since transferring from Blogspot; apologies.
Let’s go together! Journal Time.
CONTENTS for your READING QUEST:
Rambling and experience on taking more Social Media Breaks
Life Lessons & Reminder Notes to Self this Month
SuperListenMode Twitter Account Afterword
LeonieTalks, what do I do?!
Getting lectured by my Doctor about being an Artist
Legend of Zelda Spoiler Ramble so far (not even close to finishing the game yet)!
Horizon Zero Dawn Spoiler Talk
Year 4, Month 3 (March)
Leonie Yue’s Sketchbook
Crushes are still like snot haha
Aka who cares what I think anyway :’) I’m just shouting in the void!!
Most of you just lurk like ninjas or won’t even see this [ohoho being on theme!];
as for the small bunch of you, thank you so much for indulging me with my silly and personal comics! ^_^You know who you are :0 <3
AFTER THOUGHTS:
Kind people gave me their input and reassured me that:
-
- inspiration from real life is valid. I do agree and added that the most effective and meaningful stories are based on your own experiences too.
-
- expressing myself however suits and telling stories that weren’t kind to me is valid as anything else I want to tell – despite my second guessing of myself of being “too negative”
- comics are personal and not passive aggressive because I wasn’t naming names or using recognisable features, they are my “visual journal about my stories and I own them”.
Wahhh thanks for all of these perspectives on what these comics are; I’m so close to them…I don’t know what I’m doing anymore sometimes :’)
I guess since the beginning of these comics, that’s the risk I’m taking when I put personal comics out there and then the “getting scared” part kicks in. But I push through anyway :’)
I didn’t think of the perspective that having people who want you to be positive and lovey-dovey all the time is not cool either.
Plus culturally for me it’s a “don’t speak and talk back unless spoken”
and “respect people older than you no matter what”
but I break those two unspoken rules constantly by being grumpy, rude and shouty when I can’t tolerate being told what to do any longer at home at times
(Yes I’m not always quiet and reserved :’) )
And I can’t give endless positivity – I’m just a quiet ninja NPC usually haha ^_^; I’m more neutral about things.
And from Jenny: “nobody and nothing is ever only one thing or another 🙂 We are super complex beings with a whole variety of experiences and feelings and i won’t allow anybody to deny even one of them to me, you know? And honestly, i think artistic expression is a pretty great way of dealing with hurt, anger, etc as opposed to the gazillion other options that might be hurting others back?”
She’s definitely right about everyone being complex beings…and indeed these personal comics and my long monthly blog posts are essentially my outlet; I’m not one for direct confrontations out of anger or malice D:
And yeah we’re not able to be pigeon holed to be one type of person! I need to keep learning, evolving and working on my own self confidence :’)
Hey I respect what you want out of life but don’t expect the same from me!Don’t tell me what to do D:
I just wanted to enjoy the uses of too many things in my backpack at the time…ah well :’)
And all the hugs to all those who have been judged & pressured similarly like this before 🙁
PS: Backpacks are AWESOME!!
You just guess what’s happening ;DBut don’t worry, I wake up at around 5am now again but sleep a bit later in the night …and I get flexible on weekends hehe
Gosh it does seem like I get tired often 😂
Ultimately at the end of the day it’s where I definitely need rest :<
Now you see how boring my daily routine is and how I need breaks/naps to energise again :’)
Oh an amendment: I used to watch videos with my bro but now it’s taken up by Zelda playtime as we take turns haha
Gotta keep lovingIt feels wonderful to know and less pressure off your shoulders about this moving target of perfectionism. You just focus on growth, learning, mistake making and having fun
Anyhoo, let’s keep doing our best!! ^o^
 |
|
SuperListenMode: Stamina Depleted
What is life anymore :’)
When you’re so tired…your brain just doesn’t want to think or function anymore D:
So if you see me zoning out…this is why. Oh my silly bad introvert energy levels!! ;D I’m too over stimulated with everything and my brain can’t function with conversation at all! Not that I’m that great at conversations :’)
|
 |
|
SuperListenMode: They say eyes are the windows to the soul
Sometimes eye contact too much, too little or just right makes a difference. Other times it’s a matter of connecting within a genuine moment.
Indeed eye contact is one of the key ways of non verbal communication and I’m pretty obvious whether I feel engaged/interested/ready/brave with socialising or not :’)
|
 |
|
SuperListenMode: Cheap Presents
What had to be done when your family is poor; you get a Mimikyu ;D
I had an unofficial Game and Watch & a Tamagochi clone too :0
All the bootleg cheap toys to get by :’)
Now I’m: “Nope, no room for toys…
I got all this art stuff cluttering the place collecting dust as it is!” haha
|
 BurpDoodle: Dipper & Mabel
Blame and dedicated to Scott Bartlett/cronobreak for recommending this to me. Never watched the series before & finished it in the past couple of months! It seems like he liked it? :’)
All the familial sibling love vibes ;D
Pine trees and Shooting Stars.
My Spoiler LeonieTalks Ramble here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApuNHgNXYRY Thanks to the 3 people who listened to my Youtube ramble! |
BurpDoodle: Viktor Nikiforov
You didn’t see this nope!My guilty fav is Yuri the main character because I relate deeply so much with his insecurities and innocence .___.
Hollow Knight’s beautiful in cute and dark tones with sweet animation, music and sound and terribly wonderful character designs and battles.Night in the Woods does so well in it’s great & profound dialogue, engaging narrative, balances teen drama, seriousness, mucking about with friends (depending on who you spend time with the most) and humour really well! You grow to love all the characters especially the growing bond between the bunch of friends as Mae tries to deal with adulthood, uncertainty and tackling with mental health. Everyone in the town adds something to the world and story and your actions influence and affect them too (depending if you interact with them or not}! There are no “bad” endings but somewhat different dialogue depending on what you’ve done.
A recommended wonderful heartfelt experience on life, friendship, family, community and growing up. ^_^PS: There’s SO MANY GOOD VIDEO GAMES
(& I usually just watch gameplay as I work – you know me!)
how do people do this :’)
AFTERTHOUGHTS
Realised the next morning that Team Cherry retweeted it,
I thanked them & joked about my soul leaving my body,
and they joked back to remember to know where I left it (referencing to the game’s death mechanic) aw gosh! ^o^
Plus for Night in the Woods I want to add/document here my additional thoughts: Gregg gives me joy with his pure enthusiasm & belief in Mae :’)
Angus is a sweet quiet bottled up care bear & Bea is tough and blunt with heart!
I relate so much with not really connecting with anime nowadays aside [fandom can be so intense & scary!!] from the occasional watch to laugh at or to satisfy my curiosity :0 And also with being picky with anime D:It really feels like a commitment when you decide to like something and watch it to the end :’)
So for the record the recommendations & favourites came in from Snow, Nicole, Lexa, Stephanie, Daniel:
-
- Puella Magi Madoka Magica
-
- Sailor Moon (of course; it was my fav when I was younger :D)
-
- Neon Genesis Evangelion
-
- Yurii! On Ice & My Love Story as well
-
- the Black Rock Shooter
-
- Last Exile
-
- Paranoia Agent
-
- Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex
-
- Kino’s Journey
-
- FLCL (watched way back but don’t remember; apparently it’s back again)
-
- Durarara!!
-
- Arakawa Under The Bridge
- One Punch Man, Overlord, Log Horizon, Space Battleship Yamato 2199, Tengen Toppa Gurren Laggan, Full Metal Alchemist, Full Metal Panic, Code Geass, Accel World, Hellsing and Ouran High School Host Club
SO FUN and ULTRA CUTENESS and pretty!!
Just ahhh love it!! It’s so cute and I talked at my bro so much haha
and then you murder each other haha
and this was just our Demo experience :0
We have it now…just Zelda in the way though ;D
It was Splatoon but better controls & more stylish Squid kids! 😀
Map switching took some adjusting but at least it’s not with a heavy WiiU gamepad!And yeah Splatoon is best played in short sessions & I’m not sure how online multiplayer & friends will be changed/work :S”Booyahhhh” as the US localisation says ;D
I’m looking forward to play it just to cover everything with paint hehe
———————————————————————————————————
VectorBurpQuest 5: the ongoing journey!
Here goes the continued experimentation. I’m slowly doing more vector art learning at work too but I can’t show anything since it’s not my personal art ^o^ So technically I *did* do more vector art…I just don’t have as much time to do personal ones :S I am half procrastinating again hahaSoul searching too because I wonder about what *I* want to personally do with vector art. Wah. I don’t know. I haven’t settled on what vector art style I want to do; experimenting I say!!
I daresay I won’t actually have a lot of show-able vector art practice going on anymore from now on. At least enough to make a dedicated section for it.
I do have ideas and experiments to do too but not anytime soon 🙁 Note that I’ll still tag it as VectorBurpQuest whenever I can squeeze the time for it but I’ll put it as part of the sketchbook section instead :0
As I said, I am twiddling with vector art for work a bit more (huzzah) so I’m now striving to dedicate most of my own time for learning the design/illustration side of things. Otherwise I won’t have time at all for it. :S
Such a juggle!! WAH!
I know I have to dedicate some time outside of work for some vector art experiments while I must dedicate time to do and learn character design & illustration since that is what I want to keep doing. Note: I’ll ramble about this juggling later down this post when I get lectured by my on doctor haha
Dear Vector art…
I don’t hate making art with your process as much anymore :’)
I just want to keep practicing, learning new ways to do new things so it stays that way and I’m juggling @___@;
So I was plenty grateful for the encouragement!! I just treat likes as energy boosts from people I know really rather that dwell too much on how many.
I struggled lots & worked on this on and off D:
I can safely say I don’t hate or mind doing vector art…for now!!
I need to do it every now and then or I’ll hate it again ;D
I’m still not confident at it because I’m slow and lack the experience but progress!! ^o^ Thank youuu!!
Mighty Games Shenanigans: Beauty and the Beast Studies & Shooty Skies Comic for the Charming Keep Update
I guess having a Mighty section seems apt whenever I can show something ;D
Messy Beauty and the Beast environment studies for personal learning (not in anyway official). Call it fanart or whatever but they’re still studies for me.
But the classic animated one is wonderful so here’s oddball & bookworm Belle in one of her famous dresses! Her aim in life is beyond marriage and being a housewife; striving for a life of adventure and learning instead perhaps with someone who is likeminded ^_^ (Well assuming that she went traveling since the curse lifted ;D )So the live action film has Belle as the inventor instead and more modernised in that regard and they explain why the village doesn’t remember the castle & prince :0 I don’t know about the movie itself but the live action versions of the songs “Kill the Beast” and “Gaston” sound great too! The reviews don’t sound great though D:
But I’m pretty happy with and am biased towards the original animated film in the end; and yeah I have been listening to the classic soundtrack for a while :’)
Check out the new boss The Hopeless Necromantic!! <3
Now peeps at Mighty Games are teasing me that they’ll make it a poster and I’m: WUHHH??!!
Not sure if posters will happen but pretty happy with this one!
The past month: Social Media Posts Recap Extended!
And for those who friend requested me due to the Nintendo app friend recommendations; gosh it was a wonderful welcoming feeling to even have friends on the friends list at all – thank you! ^_^
Breath of the Wild Shenanigans
My own Zelda Breath Of The Wild Master Sword ;___; ♥
Breath of the Wild Zelda, Link, Archer Link Amiibos
The Amiibos are my brother’s, he also has the huge awesome Guardian one too! The Archer Link is the best out of the three shown in my opinion :0
We don’t get the switch pouch though like the US do .__.
BREATH OF THE WILD GAME SPOILERS!! THOUGHTS I had chronologically so far will be at the end of this blog post
Ramble again: The more I take social media breaks…
- the more I feel free from having to check all the time
- the more time I have for myself
- the less connected I feel to what’s happened as I catch up with things
- how 1-2 hours is how long it takes to catch up at times where most of it I skip or skim over. I really only pay full attention when it’s direct comments or messages to me
- the more I have to make sure I don’t go back to obsessively checking for replies and leave it alone
- the more it becomes apparent that everyone has their own lives and things they’re dealing with and this is the only way for you to learn about others’ lives most of the time
- the more you need to make sure you have a positive feed and not allow yourself to be near the temptations of having the fear of missing out or the dangerous “grass is greener/I’m not enough to belong”
- the more you feel the high of “ooh lots of notifications” to the low of “oh that’s it.” A lot of the important ones are just a small handful or not that important after all.
- the more I find that my constant presence doesn’t really matter too much
- there’s no such thing as lasting pleasure/happiness because all good things come to an end and the focus should be for you and your experience – it’s not about posting pictures on social media as if you were happy while you’re actually having a miserable experience in reality
- but if you’re truly happy about something in the moment, sharing about it is a positive thing rather than a “brand” thing (haha look at my Zelda photos whoops not art at all)
- the more it becomes clear that this cannot be the sole method of connecting with others (and this is usually what I do, I say shamefully)
- the more I need to distance myself from checking social media
- the more I need to focus on connection, gratitude and growth!
- I’ve limited my schedule so that I only have 3 hours & 45 minutes to use the internet at home for the whole week and then 10 minutes per 2 hours at some given days if I needed it
- I now only check social media during morning and late afternoon breaks during work and that’s it; I have blocked myself almost completely from home and at work (except for a bit on the weekend) so I can focus on art, learning & life
- I used to not check facebook at work but now I am! Up to date things happen the most during the weekdays :S so to compensate, I won’t be able to use social media much at home…testing it now…perhaps this will stick or not! I’m grateful that people are so understanding! ^_^
- So far blocking myself from social media helped with blocking myself from the temptation of distracting myself and feel terrible a
- bout what I’m not doing compared to others – and focus on other more important and productive things! 😀
Downside is that there’s lots to catch up with on Mon mornings…should probably change it to a Sunday night session >_> - It feels like one less thing to check and concern myself about with designated times for it 😀
I don’t want to stress/concern myself about what others are doing and not feeling enough about what I’m doing 🙁
And look my number of followers at tumblr isn’t that much when it’s been 5 years and yet the only reason I still post there is because I can directly link to the art I do instead of using links of social media posts and I can sort them that way. That’s all really.
People are even saying that Tumblr is dying…
But they say that with Blogger too is dead!!
Yet here I am because I am a stubborn butt who enjoys rambling essays to herself ;D
I do miss Vine though.I don’t know with Instagram. It’s still not for me. I started posting again for less than a week and now I don’t want to bother again 🙁
Perhaps I’ll leave it alone rather than announce about it. Yeah.
I thought I had it in me after an indefinite break since artists are using it successfully but no. I really do want to quit right now.
Bye instagram then??? UGGGH :'(
I digress.
I’m liking how I feel more calm and relaxed rather than pressure, fearful, anxious about what I’m doing when I’m not on social media all the time (:
I trust that people know how to find me.
And then I also experience once again that…no one really cares. It’s a mix of freedom and a cold chill of isolation.
People on social media are ultimately thinly connected to you via the internet. You cannot turn to them to lean upon all the time. They have their own lives with their own real life friends…and I’m figuring friendships and living a life worth living since an eternity…as someone who prefers solitude or a tiny group as company ;D
Do invite me and encourage me to go to things if you have something special that will interest me though! I do feel sad when people assume that I won’t go anywhere and consequently…I don’t exist to them haha
At the moment I am considering not being present beyond replying to my own posts on social media…there’s so much other things to do and I need to also make time for myself too. :S So if you think I’m out of the loop as it is…ohhhhh I’m going to be more out of the loop! I’m so tired of checking things that don’t interest me. I hope to learn about people more via in person conversation so I can force myself in that regard…maybe ;D
And I’m SO TIRED of my silly checks on how people have more followers than me or less and then apply terrible judgement on myself. I hate that about myself. I’m trying to distance myself more from followers and like numbers. Letting that go…I really don’t want to fall into an imaginary and fruitless popularity contest :< It’s hard when you put what you’ve worked on out there and you take the feedback – including numbers somewhat seriously :S
Perhaps I need to treat twitter as just another place to post art and interact with people who reply or care? All else are just noise? Ughhhhh
I shall try this mindset for now….it’s really hard to break out of this habit though. LET GO LEONIE, LET GO.
Just know that you can reach me. I’m still here! Just delayed replies.
Aye self care is so important (:
Be and do what you want to do.
Life Lessons & Reminder Notes to Self
- Common interests mean nothing when connecting with someone else as it won’t be the driving force that keeps the bond going
- Making intentions known immediately as soon as you feel them; tell them how you feel (rather thank keep it in)
- I have sort of done that in very subtle friendly ways (so not direct at all wah!) and usually it’s not mutual on their end for any connection or friendship
- or I lose interest and I don’t want to invest after all
- I’m sort of set in the amount of limited time I dedicate to socialising. I assume people are not interested and that I’m not interested because I just focus on getting better at art and doing this life thing :S
- sometimes I’m not sure how to express something or have the desire to bother to…when the other person isn’t even at the same level of interest or investment anyway
- Nothing really lines up with reality or as you expected/imagined it
- Being firm on your boundaries, your intentions, values are very important
- Quitting tapastic felt good in that there’s less of a commitment now 😀 I’m not trying to compete with cool and pretty witty or story driven comics! I’m just doing personal comics .___.
- As much as I feel that people don’t care, the people who matter actually care about you and will listen to you and your feelings. Especially when you communicate and open up and express your feelings. If they don’t care then move on from them.
- Brie Code posted some thought provoking questions & discussion about:
- when I started game dev? – I “started” by doing my first global game jam and just wanting to try it. I had nothing to lose but my time, tensing up at all the art to be done and my poor back sleeping on the floor
- how many times did I get my heart broken?
- at least three and many more; all because I did it to myself and it’s all one sided in terms of career, relationships, life and friendships…because I chose loneliness most of the time rather than risk heartbreak. Brie rightfully added that by doing so, loneliness is the thing that breaks her heart all the time. I feel it too and strive to push it aside each time it resurfaces. 🙁
- how many times I broke someone’s heart?
- once when I was a kid being blunt about feelings (I don’t think it counts…since it was someone I don’t know well in the first place); and I am oblivious to any other ones! Hey, I haven’t really formed a deep enough bond to actually break someone’s heart :S
- Creating, taking risks and putting it out there as a product is a difficult learning journey; believe in yourselves and know that you are not alone
- It’s okay to be lost and frustrated with your progress so far. I have them sometimes…also this past month I have a handful of moments where I just don’t know what I’m doing and embraced that fear I felt.
- Even though your gut doesn’t want to do it, sometimes you have to bite the bullet and grow/tolerate/deal with it and any tension and disagreements it may bring :< Like me, with driving.
- Keep striving for the stars! Mine will be getting better at character design, illustration and vector/game art really to apply them towards awesome published projects…animation & comics comes as a maybe :0
Oh I’m posting SuperListenMode comics at its own Twitter instead
Based on my concerns and worries on the last two months+ I decided to focus all my personal comics over onto its new Twitter account.
TYPED BEFORE BEING PUBLIC:
I don’t expect much people to follow this new account because I assume that most people don’t want my personal comics in their Twitter feed. That and I don’t want to be only known for these comics – I had to refocus and manage another account 🙁
I got LeonieTalks (auto Tweeting my videos/streams)
SuperListenMode (auto Tweeting my comics & connected tumblr post links)
and leonieyue (my main Twitter where I’ll actually get notifications for).
I won’t have a separate Facebook Page for it however because I hate managing pages and Facebook suits in allowing me to post personal comics and interact with my friends circle ^o^
It might not be a big deal to you but I’ve been agonising this for a while since these comics *are* personal so should technically belong to my personal & art twitter account. But to be known for *only* them makes me professionally unhappy and feeling internally conflicted. I am not proud of the comics on an artistic level but they are personal to me. I debated with my brother about it and he told me to change the art style but the art style is what makes it relatively quick to do, simplistic and cute as well. I’m stuck! D:
It was scary & difficult to put my foot down and make a new gmail and twitter account for these comics (perhaps I’ll get 5 people following?? haha) and perhaps people will unfollow and leave. I don’t know just imagining the worst case scenario ;_____;
I know people who just want the comics are out there but probably a couple??
And I know more people just want things that are *not* these comics.
So I figured this will give people a choice and for me to organise things and refocus on my own main twitter to the kinds of art I actually want to do.
Whereas the comics is my way of self expression of my thoughts and experiences…not necessarily what I *only* want to be commissioned and known for. Yes I am repetitive about this because it matters to me .___.
People don’t value it that much since it looks simple and easy but I’ve been doing this for over a year, the style has evolved, the comics are rushed and finally doing something that’s tailored to you and your likeness, stylising it and your needs is another beast and more work and effort is involved compared to me just drawing myself all the time. It’s simple and easy looking because I’ve done it for a while and gotten used to it. It takes a handful of days to make it look right and to a more polished quality and my pride refuses to draw at the level of my rushed comics if I was actually paid for them. :S
There’s comics potentially running till up to late October now! I have worked way ahead in advance as it becomes its own beast of a project. Perhaps October will be where it ends. I don’t know. It depends on the feedback by then and if I feel like doing them anymore.
At the time of writing this I am scared of splitting this personal part of me away to its own auto Twitter account. It still feels like I lost a part of me…even if a little :’) But in the long term I hope this will be worth it.
I won’t tweet as much on my personal twitter since the comics are moved but it will be more focused. :’)
Whether you stay, leave or support the comics account as well on twitter, thanks for coming along and your kind company for 90+ comics! <3
It *helps* me to see whether people are actually interested in the comics on its own or not :S
Gosh this is like saying goodbye to a part of yourself to something that does the tweeting for you :’)
Well at least the comics are still going on my personal facebook ;D
AFTER IT GOT PUBLIC:
WHOA! :O!!
Was expecting max 5 but it’s 16…now 26 followers 35 followers at SuperListenMode’s twitter…how did this happen??
Um…yay!! Thank you so much!!! 😭
Compare when I started 😂: http://tumblr.leonieyue.com/tagged/SuperListenMode/page/7
Where it was messy, inconsistent, too colourful, clueless and more awkward a year ago :’) Gosh this is a weird feeling…D:
Now let’s just wait for this number to decline haha
Note that when I had it on tapastic, it was 20, 43 then 40 followers as people lost interest in the comic. So learning to distance myself from these numbers (especially when these comics are personal) D:
So stop that Leonie; I’m all the same very grateful that a classroom of people are still interested to have it on their twitter feed. Thank you. :’)
Now there’s not much interaction at all with the comics on twitter…I feel like I’ve left it out to die if I left it completely alone and automated!! So I’ve decided to retweet it occasionally as a reminder haha
WHAT ABOUT LeonieTalks?
GOSH Leonie! You keep talking about this!! Well I’m figuring this out at the moment!! I’m stressing that I don’t know what I’m doing; a lot of trial and error.
Anyhoo I can’t do everything and LeonieTalks is going to be left alone until I decide to not be a hermit outside of work and do an event again ;D As I think about it, I won’t do interviews because then I become media and hence it becomes work rather than a fun personal video diary thing. I don’t want to become someone’s unpaid video marketing producer/presenter either :S
So far recently it’s been gameplay, ramble about movies/toons and timelapses but I don’t think I want to keep doing those. At the time I felt like I needed to talk to the void about my thoughts about something but I don’t feel the drive or point to it anymore.
I do want to keep doing personal video diary majigs and talk about other people’s things that I like or make observations instead. Not 100% sure about art timelapses.
I guess I’m refocusing on what I’m doing over here on my Youtube too? Or am I?
I can’t say for certain since I usually do whatever I feel the drive to do so :0
I did attempt a gameplay video, but I don’t feel that I have it in me anymore when I’m not having fun :S
Let’s just see what happens! :’D
Lectured by my Doctor about being an artist
Consequently I saw the doctor and she asked about what I do (she has asked the same question before; I don’t often go to the doctor so she will ask again the next time I visit!)
Since she knows someone who believes they are a great artist (but to my doctor, they aren’t good), she started giving me her advice without seeing what I actually do or understand what I mean by mobile phone games :’) Note it was hard to explain what I do D:
The gist was a reminder & a mixture of generalised truths that aren’t new to me and aren’t applicable to everybody:
- Time is money
- Get focused on getting good at your job! Before doing anything else and learning anything erlse [as I’m juggling with work, vector art, learning about drawing people/character design]
- her message was for me to get good at toony vector art etc and then have other things as your leisure stuff
- Else you spread yourself too thin and you are not good at anything
- why would people pay you to do portraits
- why would customers bother spend money
- asians won’t buy art on their walls as they’re more practical
- people will only buy if you are famous and reputable and they want to look cool; to show off and if it’s a rare thing only they can own
- if by 30/35 years old and you’re not know for anything; it’s time to eat humble pie [HAH I disagree because life is full of career changes]
- get good at one thing first and establish yourself while you’re still young in a competitive industry
- how good are you really? You are only as good as whether people pay for your art or not. Or else you’re not good enough
- don’t learn everything and never make it by being good at nothing
- use social media and see what works and put yourself out there
- stop juggling with learning things
- it’s just recreation
- just portraiture/toony stuff I should keep making???
And then question is… what do I want to be? It usually turns out to be something you don’t expect [and you’re evolving as a complex being!] so rather than getting fixated on a HUGE target (it’ll always be a brief satisfying moment before it goes away and you feel empty inside), I’m really just focused on doing what I like, doing what I have to do as well (within reason) and seeing what sticks.Yes I do have milestone goals but it’s also something that needs to maintained as habits!! Or it’ll all far to the way side and I’ll have to start over. :0
I guess Zelda is the one thing I have to play to the end at my own pace :S
March Snapshot & feeling too tense up, tired
March has been hectic as my life [the March snapshot] is now:
- do Mighty work & struggling with the new Qubicle,
- learn and do vector art,
- learn & draw people [you shall see in the coming month!],
- play Zelda mweheheh,
- squeaky wiping the bathroom a lot
- wash lots of dishes under stress sometimes now since my brother is doing home cooking dinner & experimenting as well so my part is to wash up his mess,
- take up power walking part of the way home now; and to work too!
- eat lots of grapes for some reason,
- try to streamline the days I exercise in the morning and just making the power walks to/from work my exercise routine
- sticking to doing weights during breaks
- taking naps on the train,
- test blocking myself from social media at home
- watch video games :’)
- the prospect of driving after 6 years of not doing that D: I don’t think I can since I’m so exhausted after work…I don’t want to cause road accidents and the thought makes me squirm if I have to drive with a certain someone
- getting a throat infection/cold from a sneeze on the tram 🙁
- people are still coughing and sneezing without covering their mouths >_>;
- drinking more tea from chamomile for sleeping
- a taste of Melbourne black tea to wake up
- terrible post deliveries because they don’t knock and then they leave your delivery package in a post office over an hour away rather than the nearby one >___>; I’ll be wasting a whole morning trying to get it on public transport but I’ll just read a book…aye. I’m making a sign so that people knock the front door gosh!
- wondering if I should play Nier…another commitment :<
- pimples aaaah
- snipping my own terrible hair
Feeling that this year could be a challenging one since responsibility and things are stacking up based on how March and April so far is changing things up!
It’s a slow growth towards caring less what others think too :S Well…
At times I do worry about not being friendly/considerate/entertaining/interesting enough but knowing that I’m doing what my brain can handle relieves me of trying to be some perfect, approachable and generous being :0 If my heart is not into it anymore, then I need to let go. Other times it’s other things that get in the way.Work and home have both their own increasing set of expectations and responsibilities on top of all the personal and art goals I have on my own :0 Life! Wahhh people make it seem so easy! It isn’t…we’re all doing what we can.
I’m just tired and I’m hugging my limited amount of energy to my chest. I feel like I need to let things go to take more things up…or just not take more things up at all. For instance, I just don’t feel like socialising with people much outside of work as I need recovery time from being in the presence of others. That’s just my default introverted: “I’d rather spend time with 1 or 2 people [which is taken up by my family] or by myself” though. And the lonely fact that I don’t have much friends but it usually goes to the wayside…I feel like my plate is full right now. A lot of…what am I doing that’s really wasting my time? And cutting that out. And what do I need to allow myself breaks?
Figuring it out.
Woo I hope to have my jaw relax more too as it hurts again :SGotta keep brave and keep going ;D
Anyhoo, I’m just rambling my feelings as usual. You are awesome for reading about all this! Where I talk about my grumpy and insecure side again; it’s part of me but I’m happy I’m managing better :’)Thanks! Keep adventuuuring you!
I hope April has been kind to you so far.I’ll probably figure how to drive, avoid arguing and stay calm and just take more social media breaks in the meantime :S EEP!Take it easy,
Wait…you gain super powers when you’re asleep?!
What am I doing; lost in my 1st open world game :’) #BreathoftheWild #NintendoSwitch pic.twitter.com/ZrN6rVRGDM— 💖Leonieʕ•ᴥ•ʔ🎨 (@leonieyue) March 7, 2017
- Got weapons that run out
- Cooking and making recipes
- Quest System :0!!
- Massive beautiful world- if you can see it you can go there – getting lost is normal
- the Zelda Dark Souls – I die a lot!!
- Zelda concepts are not there – you don’t know what to do – not know order or whatever … loads of exploration
- the world doesn’t exist for you to solve it; the overgrown HUGE wild world has its own life and is lived in and you’re there to wreck the bokoblin’s lives
- you can jump in a Zelda game??? GASP but it’s the X button D:
- lots of the puzzles!! hard! But simple solution all along
- I didn’t realise how to fish or cook .___.
- You can climb ANY cliffside and houses and whatnot just limited to your stamina
- You can backstab and sneak up on camps
- You can dye your clothes
- All about how you play and approach to playing and not about your stats/health/stamina/level
- NO assistant character; it’s just you and your brain
- Not many main dungeons at all just a lot of shrines and a few
- Combat is simplified and spin attack etc and dodge – more about range of approaching than variation of attacks
- Cooking system of discovery
- And there’s voice acting!!
- You have everything you need; you’re not going to miss on any tools past the beginning section so I don’t get concerned if I miss out on treasure all the time
- Cooking is awesomeeeee and Link getting excited for it, eating animations and people attempting to just play as shirtless Link haha
- You don’t know at all if you’re fully ready or not in tackling something (no leveling system and tiers) as you can do it either the hard or easy ways if you can figure it out and no super xray through walls vision like other AAA games do
- similar to Horizon Zero Dawn though that has a more fleshed out plot…thus far; both showing and telling you the story through text, the people, how they live and through the world
- Zelda is more quiet, chill and not much music and atmospheric sound is used until something happens
- YOU DIE A LOT IN THIS ZELDA it’s brutal to someone like me at least
- All the quirky characters ^.^
- You can switch the jump button as it should be haha phew
- Enemies ganging up on you ahhhh runnn
- Help us Obi Won Kenobi. You are our only hope.
- GAHHH not a huge fan of Zelda’s voice actor…I’m spoiled from the Japanese one
- I feel like a kid again ^.^
- This is my aesthetic and not a lot of reading everywhere to get plot; I prefer listening to it when it’s in a game for open world things haha
- This might be my first open world game I’ve played (3D platformers don’t count right) and it’s weird!! I am SO used to just following the main linear plot and any side quests along the way because there’s nothing else to do but there’s so much to do and you can do whichever and not progress the plot!! This is open world…what it’s like??
- Back to the Zelda 1 roots of “here’s the main quest but enjoy and roam about and get lost in it”
- I’m getting lost doing silly stuff & exploration this wonderful game!! I keep getting distracted!! I haven’t played a long video game for so long D:
- the first time I’ve played an open world game where you can do whatever. And it’s strange and new to me and a lot of fun discovery and making mistakes and not stuck to a linear path ahhh <3
- Atually playing (and not just watching) games!!
- I’m a kid again yay haha
- Many I know are streaming Zelda; I need to avoid D:
- I realise how I am terrible at games as usual but I don’t feel it’s impossible and that I can do it 😀
- I like both Skyward Sword and The Wind Waker so this game is a wonderful stylised mix of the two yeahhh
- Zelda is paced and scenic, open and villages to explore with NPCs
- Lots of different villages etc
- more about exploring through the map (unmarked aside from the quick travel parts/shrines/towers/towns) and discover for yourself what’s interesting about the world, using stamps (I LOVE USING THEM)
- you can go anywhereeee WOW
- Map feels meaningful and balanced and well paced & well designed
- Combat is so hardddd and fun/frustrating
- no more heart containers to achieve
- no more hearts to find in the grass
- What it’s not:
- it does not mark things for you on the map with loads of things to do, whether they’re important to you or not
- complex and overwhelming to get into like many character driven narrative action open world games as their maps and quests are overkill at times for me for clear navigation.
- have side quests about “searching for the good side quests/missions/events from the bad ones” – really busy with busy work in there, collectable, event, etc
- feels same same like other AAA games with the standard “Mass Effect dialogue” wheel and combat with the same sort of weapons etc.
- just being there for the one main storyline and get on with that usually
- not about a hub/home village you need to spread out and outside of that is fighting/enemy territory areas
- You can’t get Epona without Smash Link Amiibo nuuu
- Horses are just there to get from A to B faster but usually I’d rather walk around the place on my own to explore. Pl
- YOU CAN TAKE PHOTOS and catalogue things like Wind Waker aaaaah
- Payah is so shy and cute…it’s basically me except I refuse to show emotion as my mask to hide my feelings instead haha
- The Director is so cool
- The Great Fairy is Fabulous
- YOU CAN TAKE SELFIES; Link is SO HAPPY aaaah what is this
- The Cucco man…:’)
- I cooked so many things
- Hestu is ADORABLE, HUGE AND AMAZING
- The more and more I’m loving this game the more things open up and things to discover
- I love the side quests as most of them are things you want to do anyway
- Aaaaaah the centaur shot me and I died; it was SCARY as it saw me from a mountain away D:
- I fought continously and managed to fight down a blue one eyed orge like monster and screamed and yelled a lot :’)
- A lot of running around exploring in the rain and climbing, really chill
- I need to get better at combat D:
- I’m taking loads of time to just explore, climb and enjoy this game D: I progressed the main quest enough to get side quests.
- At first I wasn’t sure but increasingly I’m growing to love it more :’)
- It’s my first open world game so I feel odd that I’m not following this linear set path (as with all previous games I’ve played) and at first I was incredibly lost but embracing it at the same time
- and I enjoy how well paced it feels
- and I love using the stamps because I am the one who determines what’s important to me to mark on the map and not get overwhelmed with what the game wants me to do
- the cooking system is wonderfully fun,
- how things and more abilities open up as you explore the world,
- the side quests are lovely and charming and you *want* to talk to everyone
- the combat is hard but a lot of it is knowing when to leave and when to keep fighting
- the puzzles feel great and challenging,
- the frame rate getting choppy at times is a minor thing,
- I just finished fighting this huge thing after dying many times and shouting at the screen; it feels satisfying!!
- One day I’ll get a better horse; or not! It doesn’t matter since somehow I prefer walking around the world still because everything is novel
- I love the character designs, their animated acting and the quirkiness
- The whole experience is really relaxed whenever you explore
- How enemies gang up on you can get really tough if you’re hasty
- How people say it’s a mix of Dark Souls, Skyward Sword and Wind Waker and I agree so far
- I like how you can just choose what time of day you want to get to
- Everything feels like you’re exploring a world that has been existing without you rather than a world that’s just created for you, the player/protagonist
- The lore deepens…however convoluted the timeline is, it’s still engaging and intriguing…the nostalgia is strong
- “As in, in other open world games, when you get the area mapped out, they label all the things you need to do, all the quests you can do. In Zelda, it only give you lay of the land, which encourages exploring things at your own pace and make your own notes. They mentioned that other open world games should do this.” – my Brother. I agree with my brother because it’s so cool that it doesn’t let the game tell you to do a checklist of things instead of actually exploring for yourself
- “I don’t mind the weapon degradation. Inventory space is a problem. A problem…is that they should make the target button an option between a switch or hold. When I fought the centaur man, I basically held that target button until my index finger was sore.” – my Brother
- The weapon degradation is annoying for me at first but you later on get to store some your weapons in your own house; it does prevent you from using your cool weapons and save them for later – it’s an added difficulty that arguably isn’t necessary…I tend to break my good weapons soon nooo
- People complain that all the shrines looking the same (same monk, same looking dungeon place) but that’s just a nice to have. It would be great if each were unique but the key thing of those shrines is the puzzles inside really and getting surprised when it’s not the same. It would be wonderful if they were each differently designed with their own story with different looking monks with their own lived lives but ah well…perhaps there is a reason
- Really chill game
- the weather system is awesome, the rain (ack I can’t climb now!), the lightning shocks eep! With clothes
- Love the cooking jingle <3
- Rams ahhhhh
- Sneaking up on people and killing them hoho
- not a 100% perfect game but an incredible fun exploration, adventure and puzzles game; I agree with the criticism but the fun and joy I have outweighs it all :’)
- I am glad I don’t have open world burnout right now given that I don’t play much games
- I feel like 2 weeks on that I’m way behind because I was/am still up to getting to meeting the Zora for the first time :’)
- Okay that Divine Beast [the Elephant] was a challenge!! WOO was satisfying though when you finally push through for a solution
- Lynels are HARD to defeat!!
- Robbie is amazing; Doc Brown with a younger wife 50 years younger…and there’s Cherry
- SO expensive to upgrade for Guardian arrows!! And clothes!!
- At this point really annoyed with inventory because I want to save up my good weapons…I don’t want them to break :S Striving to use other weapons haha
- The spectacled dude who sells you Akkala buns…so creepy. Why do I have to eat it asap and with my eyes closed?? What is he feeding me D:
- I got 4 horses now!!! ^o^ I called my recent one Aloy because it faced getting on fire, electrocuted and getting slashed by weapons and still managed to say alive 😀 I have an emotional attachment now haha
- That creepy Monster shop dude…wow. Passionate ;D
- The fact that you have to strip down to show your scars to Robbie was a nice touch
- I’m still not even close to 30 shrines and 50 hours of playtime at the time of writing this dot point :S and I believe it’s XXX shrines D: [SPOILER: 120 Shrines total but the last 20 you probably need a guide]
- and there’s 900 evil koroks to find??? Aaaaah D:
- There are some Korok things I can’t figure out or do >___>;
- I’m going to run out of stamps at this rate…I NEED more than 100
- Hearing my bro complain about the English voice acting for cut scenes is not a good sign
- Beedle is stealing my bugs >___>; but I give it anyway
- I’m 85 hours in and I still haven’t unmapped 6 regions ;D
- I beat my first few Guardians!! I am not a coward anymore!!
- The dragons are SO MAJESTIC…ahhhh so wonderful!!
- I saw two dragons at once!! GOSH
- I’m at 80 Korok seeds and 61 shrines
- Gosh enemies are scalable as there’s now silver bokoblins; no easyyyy
- got too many powerful cool weapons now; juggling and making space and using up weapons
- Shrouded Shrine; DARKNESS – like playing another game and then HINOX haha eep!!
- I got 5 horses and I want more…I’m not even a horse person ;D
- DRAGOOOONS
- Only did koroks, gorons, zora and hylian/people so far ;D
- Finally got the Master Sword…and I won’t use it
- So much climbing and getting more brave with enemies now since I am better equipped :0
- Bro thoughts which I agree:
- I can see that, because so far the main story is go to village of a particular race, meet up with descendant/relative of companion and then go fight boss that’s easier than other supposedly small time enemies (seriously, a lynel is much tougher than the Fireblight Ganon). It sorta like Majora’s Mask, except less interesting.
- But some of the side stuff is the best (I want more stuff like the Kakariko quest and the Tarrey Town/Bolson Construction quest) and characters are more memorable than NPCs in TP and actually made me laugh and giggle. It is probably the closest Zelda game that comes close to the level of exploration in 2D Zelda games.
- I want more quests in Zelda that lead on to a next one, like how Xenoblade Chronicles does it. I have to admit, one of the most memorable moments of Xenoblade (and Xenoblade X, even though main story is shit) are from the side quests. So far, I haven’t found any other quests that do that, with the exception of Bolson Construction/Tarrey Town.
- Exploring and bumping into stuff are stars of the show.
- Shrines remind me of Portal a lot, but I do think they should mix up the background or change how the monks look. After 80 hours of playing (yeah I checked) and over 50 shrines done, I’m getting a bit tired of seeing the same thing.
- agreed I like the side stuff indeed
- I just enjoy exploring and finding things I guess in BotW
- Some of the cool shrines too!! 😀
- I’m sad when I hear that the end of the game is disappointing and a friend insists that Link Between Worlds is much better, rich and doesn’t repeat itself but I’ll just enjoy the journey and see what happens. I’ll find out for myself :< Yeah I feel really bummed to hear it was a disappointment for them.
Sadly groggy & quarantined with bad cold & infection but my latest horse in #BreathoftheWild is called Aloy! :’) #HorizonZeroDawn Mweheh ;D pic.twitter.com/dZXHnXMSHj— 💖Leonieʕ•ᴥ•ʔ🎨 (@leonieyue) March 28, 2017
BREATH OF THE WILD GAME SPOILERS END!!
SPOILER THOUGHTS for HORIZON: Zero Dawn END!!