🍫 One of those days today :(

So when this happened last night, I was trying out my first non vegetarian Indian food for dinner – Chicken 56!

It was too spicy to the point of losing my appetite, I sadly didn’t eat too much of it, it wasn’t a cheap meal either and they didn’t give much yoghurt (I am not a spicy food person). The yoghurt didn’t help overpower the miserable levels of spice. My tummy was feeling noisy and horrible when eating it too…I don’t want a painful time at the restroom so I had to stop.

Unfortunately I wasted food but I don’t want to suffer again afterwards…

I guess it just isn’t for me – if only it wasn’t spicy as it seemed super tasty otherwise! It seems like good/available Indian food is spicy so Indian food isn’t for me :S And maybe that goes for spicy Thai, Sichuan and Korean foods too. Whelp.

So I didn’t know what else to eat and ultimately went for a chocolate bar which broke in half just when I was going to start eating it 🙁 Oof…I just ended up eating the smaller half of chocolate remaining and hoped that I wouldn’t go hungry later in the night. I gave up.

Luckily I didn’t have the appetite the rest of the night even though I technically didn’t eat that much :’)

Just one of those days when little disappointing, frustrating, saddening, stressful things keep building on top of each other.

Which has been the case for the past month or two. Or rather in the past few years 🙁

Or it’s just life in general where it’s more spaced out with good/neutral times in between :0

It’s also exhausting when you get shut down, talked over and not allowed to speak up because of sexist/misogynist reasons all your life. Maybe that plays a part why I’m used to dissociating, being quiet, energy conserving, listening and observing especially when there’s more than one other person around (aside from overstimulation with people to consider, running out of social energy, needing time to process, losing focus and not having much to say).

Life is a series of ups, downs and mundane times and most of it is not in your control indeed. In this case, sometimes you try something new and you take the risk of food/something not working out. You process and reflect over things, eventually move on, let go and slowly not stress over things.

Anyhoo generally I am slow at adapting and changing my routine/auto pilot mode as I’m already juggling the day to day things as it is! Perhaps being autistic/neurodivergent at play here – I need the routine to keep my stress levels more manageable :’)

I keep staying up late and waking up late too wahhh

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