SuperLeonieMode 347 / Overthinking and anxiety with a dash of denial + timelapse!

Little timelapse!

SuperLeonieMode: I doodled the sketch of this during the before times :’)

Oh no

*internal anxious denial and screaming*

Germaphobe worries.

Given that I suffered from hand eczema before and after the pandemic; it’s still apt today. It flares up in small amounts and I’m better at nipping it at the bud before it becomes debilitating.

I get super paranoid, overanalyse and then I sweep it under the rug and try not to think about spilt milk :’)

Ah a little update!

I’ve recently started a bootcamp course and am doing other learning shenanigans! Ahh!! It’s pretty motivating, intense and promising so far but it’s too early to say and I’ve yet to get into the super grueling, frustrating part of it ;D Currently stressing out on how I’m going to juggle it all.

At the least I’ll be too busy to worry about my falling social media numbers and getting existential about my life ;P I won’t be posting as much because of this but I’ll document some of my learning journey along the way. Oh no, potentially more rough art ahead!!

Since I won’t be taking January off from posting (kind patrons note that I won’t be pausing my Patreon during January from now on), I’ll strive to keep posting on Mondays + take breaks roughly every 2 months + a few more where needed.

I’ve decided to stick to my social media posting hamster wheel during January. To make up for not having a scheduled prolonged break I’ll have more flexible breaks scattered across the year for my mental health :0

Reflecting more on my focus

I’ve also had the “epiphany” or realisation that I’m much more happier and do better learning, creating and studying from life, portraits, painting, character design and figure drawing if it’s as a hobby (since I’m not trying to please someone with it, can focus on what *I* am interested in, experiment and I can have more fun with it).

And if I want to do things at a more polished and professional level, I’d rather do cute, stylised designs and illustrations. I feel less burdened, perfectionistic and more relieved that I don’t have to force everything I’m interested in learning into something directly relevant and useful to my art career. Or social media “brand”. Or whatever expectations I feel the industry has in general.

Oh social media doesn’t like people who switch gears a lot. I don’t really thrive on switching gears too much either (I stubbornly stick with characters) but at the moment I’m going from figure/anatomy studies (hope to make this a habit as it’s easy to get rusty), to doing cute personal character illustrations and to a bunch of art courses/resources.

Instead of trying to do it all at once, I hope to rotate and juggle between these 3 art focuses around life, part time work and rest!! Somehow?? Not sure how to juggle this best; ah the lifelong problem :’)

Hey my artistic growth and interests are much more important than my social media growth.

And I would still like to do prompts when realistically this bootcamp is over and other things!! :’)

Ahhhh I don’t know!!

Well let’s see how we go as always ;’D

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