Subtitled timelapse 1min 15sec (from Aug 2023)

The 2nd out of 3 of the Xmas Crossy Road universe illustrations I worked on/off since 2022 with Sara’s support!

Finally finished them all in August 2023!! :’)

Originally I decided to post this illustration this year because I don’t want to put it on hold another year. Then I was happy to let the HW marketing team post it first since this is technically HW marketing art I did during work hours :0

A Sunny Summer Chrimbusss!

Featuring Aussie Santa, Mallard, Sandman, Crab, Gingerbread guy, Elf and Chicken :0

Had to do this for Southern hemisphere peeps having Summer (like me)!

Coincidentally Australian Santa is lined up for Pecking Order too! :0

Also ahhhh super hot day for me tomorrow!!

Leonie rambles about…

• How to make sure your kids grow up envious (aini)
  • this is why I have an envy/self comparison/resentment and the “not feeling enough” insecurity that I’m always managing
  • I do envy people who are social / extroverted and outgoing with lots of friends
    • I don’t want to be around them though as I just feel invisible among them
    • they have existing friend circles and understandably I’m not a priority
  • I’ve outcasted and distanced myself from people whenever I feel like I’m just a follower and not feeling like I’m connecting with anybody on an equal, mutual basis
    • I don’t socialise well in groups anyway :/
    • to others it seems like I’m acting “I’m too good for them”, too passive or my presence is barely there
  • I want someone to be (eventually) mutually loyal/buddy to me too, not someone who has many good buddies higher priority than me (and trigger my rejection sensitivity / abandonment stuff) ;P
    • if it’s just casual acquaintances…we all have that and that’s normal
      • most people don’t connect well enough
    • it’s something that requires mutual effort then that’s hard to find and build
      • I need to be better at it if I find someone I trust, am interested in, who feels the same and has the capacity for this
    • it’s also weird when acquaintances call you friend when it’s not even built/established yet ;P
      • I guess it’s a start if I feel the potential & mutual feelings for friendship is there
      • otherwise it feels like social pressure or pleasantries
      • at least intentions are clear!
  • I’m just tired of not feeling I belong/valued socially,
    • not having a buddy to feel safe/secure and to rely on,
    • not having the energy to deal with group social things
    • and just barely hanging/following along
  • eventually I turn back to being a quiet listener once the 1 to 1 chat I’m having, includes more people
    • I shut down when a third person or more jumps in, in order to conserve my social energy and attention
    • too much social stimulation now
    • I do want to be able to talk about deep, random topics but not when there’s lots of people to consider :0
  • I do admire inspiring people but I don’t want to be them
    • it’s more internal – the goal posts never stay still
  • I don’t like it when people judge and push me/others down for their educational/career/life accomplishment comparisons, it fills me with distrust and loss of respect
    • these kinds of people make me miserable and never accepted nor enough as I am
    • that’s why I don’t do relative gatherings and am estranged ;P
  • I do believe in my own sensitive, neurodivergent, hermit path
    • it’s just lonely and feeling like I’m missing out sometimes
• Thread on masking here with COVID and how it spreads and evolves in all organs…
• Been reading Shiroyama and Mita-san and it’s pretty good! I didn’t know what to expect at first.
  • It’s not too popular enough to be an anime though as the characters are not drawn conventionally attractive in the world of manga/anime
  • The same face syndrome with the “ugly” face is intentional and it’s what gives it charm
  • they look like normal people and not the default pretty, beautiful people template
  • I’m not done yet as it’s quite long :0
• Read the TeamFortress 2 comics now that it’s finished and it’s brilliantly done storytelling
  • it did feel rushed at the last comic but I feel in awe that it’s finally ended – wow
  • kept me thinking about it too with all the characters, relationships and backstories :’)
• Video Games & the Sexy Gender Binary (verilybitchie)
  • great essay and articulates how why I usually don’t play male gaze-y, objectifying games
  • I didn’t realise how character customisation in games are still not as inclusive as marketed
  • overall some games are progressing well and things can be done better and to keep raising the standards :0
• Patriarchy hurts everyone, even you bro (Bryony Claire)
  • This just makes me more afraid of relationships, fearing for my safety and getting taken advantage of with people in general :’)
  • I don’t like pushy people
• disfigurement, disgust, and the dark side of pretty privilege (Rowan Ellis)
  • great to hear the experiences of different people dealing with different struggles
  • I have eczema and some acne scarring among other insecurities so oof
  • I also do relate to feeling/accepting that people won’t be with me romantically in a serious, committed way as there’s many flaws and things I’m managing (we all are flawed though)
    • not that I experienced what love is
    • need to minimise the romantic projections/illusions on people
    • also the interest has to be mutual – would want to avoid/minimise the pain of one sided feelings
  • I do relate and agree with the silent, unspoken side of being left out and not fully understanding why
    • I also leave myself out preemptively also to protect myself from getting too hurt

Goals for 2025…?

I don’t like making goals…I’m just listing things I need to be better at or keep doing :0

• focus on learning, studies and applying that as a habit
  • I didn’t do much of that this year because the fun in fanart was too strong
• be even more selective with fanart, my expectations, inspirations
  • I have finite time! I can’t do all the fanart!!
  • Maybe I have to do sketches instead of full illustrations!
• no more/minimal Crossy fanart in my personal time
  • (there are still things I already made so it’ll take awhile)
  • I’ll stick with sketches also if I still do them but I’ll try to stop myself next year
  • I don’t want to spend too much time on Crossy fanart
• manage food and exercise and budget
  • must be more frugal and stingy due to tight budget and personal debt
  • need to watch my (stress eating) snack intake
  • not sure if walking steps help at all – shall keep doing low level exercise/weights daily
• sleep and rest more
  • night owl fighting with sleep schedule
  • I want to stay up late but I’m not supposed to when I have to wake early
    • so I lack even more sleep :’D
  • then lacking sleep makes me a zombie and more prone to getting sick ughh
  • minimising the romance manga I read because I love binge reading too much…
• do daytime social things a bit more
  • maybe find a buddy so I’m not bothered by the existing cliques/friend groups ;P
  • not confident with this one because I default to keeping to myself and going back into solitary recovery mode
• I need to cut internet finds down when I write too much!!
  • I should stop doing it altogether when it’s too busy…reminding myself to do this!!
  • most people don’t read anyway and only look at my art
  • keep my blog posts short and sweet in the future (but Leonie can’t help it sometimes wah)

Personal update

I’m going to take a break from posting as I have a lot of scary, overwhelming chores/cleaning and other things to do during my holidays and during the coming months of 2025 so I’m not sure if I’ll actually have much of a break 🙁

Gotten some more cleaning done and window film application since my last post and it was exhausting. Phew. Taking it easier tomorrow when it’s super hot again :’)

Yesterday was horrible because

• I was powering through chores and window film application with a headache,
• feeling sore all over,
• feeling icky all over,
• my dry cough is rare and random from asthma,
• walked in the sun for under 2 hours (at the limits of my low stamina)
• I’ve been having a weird throat ache on my left side for ~3 days already

But the doctor I walked/bused in the sun for said they have no clue why my throat aches weird and my voice is lower and clogged up at times. I asked the doctor too and it’s inconclusive?? I can’t raise my voice much either as my voice gets funky and low :/ It’s not swollen. I don’t have any other symptoms so far (it’s been a bit over 3 days) so I don’t know what this is. Most people are not available on holidays too. It’s not stabbing pain but a dull ache, usually when I swallow – similar to a faint bruise ache. It’s not really that strong most of the time. Do I have a throat infection? Am I sick? I suspect my body is fighting off something so I actually had 8 hours sleep out of exhaustion from everything last night.

Still achy from carrying my shoulder bag and not sure if my throat is better though. Been drinking more water today which helps? I hope it’s nothing terrible…I just don’t know what it is 🙁 I hope this throat thing goes away.

Anyhoo I’ve been posting a lot more small posts due to work related stuff. I feel like I need to force this posting break on myself. I don’t think I’ve taken much long breaks this year since I’ve made posts more smaller and manageable.

And I’m not checking my bluesky feed much if I don’t feel up to it – I don’t have much time and I intentionally took the app off my phone :’)

I’ll be back sometime mid January…always juggling (as we all are)!

I don’t have the bandwidth to recap the year. 2024 has been quite an overwhelming year…I hope to get some rest 🙁

Slow down, take care, stay safe and hope we all have a good end of 2024 (well it’s just another day…) and start of the new year :0

---

★ Join my monthly blog newsletter! ☆