It continues from the previous post!

Day 8: figure studies with harsh lighting

Allowing myself to be more rough, less precise and faster.

Day 9: figure studies continue

I’m not bothered to get artist peer points, just striving to practice ;<

Got into getting it done mode.

Day 10: More studies and making up portraits

Making a buffer much better this time around now that I’m more fast and loose!

Day 11: what am I doinggg

Time for some simple cruller/cinnamon donuts?

Yeah I’m hungryyy and I don’t have any good pastry places near me so it’s one part of my eternal suffering I guess.

Day 12: Figure studies and stylisation from the same model

I’m tumbling down, tumbling down, tumbling down

into darkness, loneliness, hurt and despair

I can seem to shake it away so hello, walk with me instead.

Just trying to manage my negative, existential, sad, numb thoughts :’)

Day 13: Figure studies! I didn’t like what happened to his face

So cropped his face off ;P

Also testing different brushes.

Day 14: Green and red. Portrait study of chinthekid (I don’t know who they are as I’m out of touch?)

Little timelapse!

Somehow I like how this turned out!

Reflecting on Kimo Week 2, being slow paced & other anxious thoughts

I’m just going through the motions and doing studies in bulk when I can manage to do it :’)

I can’t really switch gears on the dot most of the time – I often take a while to get into the mindset with focus, especially when my energy levels are low. So I do whatever the moment leads me.

Looking back I have yet to make studies work as a scheduled regular thing because I need to rotate with other things and rest needs to be considered (as much as I wish I had more time). I’m still learning to let go of being rigid with my tasks and just to focus on progress, routine and what is the minimum I’m happy to stick with. Easier said than done of course. Always trying to figure out my low energy levels and what my mind is able to do in a given moment.

I don’t like switching art tasks too much within a given day for instance as my brain can’t catch up and resists it. So I plan to rotate some every fortnight and others weekly? Keep it to one focus a day where possible? Other times I need to do a bit each day? I’ll have to keep testing and failing forward. It gets frustrating at times and that is part of the journey :’)

Also I feel unaware and disconnected with how and whether I am reaching anybody online since I block myself from checking metrics where able (not reddit or youtube since there’s no way to disable!) Now I don’t think too much about how other people think and I’m more focused on what I want learn and create :0 It’s better for me overall since I’m not worrying about what people want/expect from me as much and I’m not obsessing and being discouraged and ego-hurt over how my metrics have been stagnant for years. I know we’re all tired about those negative thoughts of mine :’)

Now I’ll worry about how I don’t know exactly what I’m aiming for but I’ll keep learning and creating what interests me. Always managing my anxious, catastrophic, existential, gloomy thoughts on my art and life :’)

Anyhoo my break so far had food poisoning as one part of it but I watched Pixar’s Luca which was pretty good! I don’t really do Easter things but it did allow me to slow down more than usual. I’m always slow and behind because I’m never fully reaching my unrealistic expectations with my own learning progress and personal art anyway.

Sometimes I need to remind myself to let go of my anxious impatience and embrace, accept my turtle pace :’)

I hope your day and week ahead is low stress and good! I need to go back to work tomorrow so I need to make the most of today ;P

---