It’s smiley Atami!

More studies that are ongoing!

It’s also cool we have a new yokozuna now!

Leonie rambles about…afraid of professional character designing

How do people design/concept finished characters so quickly 😭

This is why I avoid calling myself a character designer/concept artist because I am a slow artist who needs more practice/mileage, who keeps iterating and experimenting and hitting walls/frustrating obstacles until it’s something I like. It depends on the complexity of the art style too.

Professionally it seems a lot of people want something faster and that’s too stressful and not how I do my best work – I end up tunnel visioning into getting it done over experimenting/being creative :’)

my post

I don’t know how people do this professionally.

And no I’m not talking about the fleeting inspiration spark of ideas.

Usually you don’t have the spark on command. And especially when someone else is in charge of the project – their goals, vision and needs are more important. It’s great if you already have ideas to work with though.

Rushing it makes you overlook lots of things too. It’s definitely a creative learning journey!!

Gosh my visual library is lacking and research and references are needed for me.

I also mean character design that involves character and expression sheets and lore and comprehensive things. As well as background characters that you’re supposed to “pump out fast” if that process exists. For me there’s countless stages and iterations as I hyperfocus on one thing to the next from big picture things to details, research again, more iterations and then presentation too somehow?? I need constraints or else I nitpick forever…

Just saying I struggle to make something good within a day…I need much more time than that depending on scope, complexity and subject matter. I need to study/practice :<

Again I’m scared to be a character designer as I am a slow artist and the pressure to perform makes me less creative and more stressed, overwhelmed and frustrated with how I feel like a sad fraud :’)

My high inner critic takes over and makes me miserable, especially when I get carried away.

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— Leonie Yue (@leonieyue.bsky.social) 2025-02-19T05:05:11.865Z

Personal update / rambling that hopefully makes sense

I’m too tired; mind is mush, things are stressful, trying to not to be impulsive/frustrated/resentful and I need to buy myself downtime. I have been pushing some things to be dealt with later but there’s always more to do…the workload/stuff/chores/etc never ends :<

Due to aforementioned temporary life changes, I’m not eating great/healthy due to the limited food types I could eat.

Gosh I need to decompress and sleep more too (but I’m forced to wake early more on weekdays) 🙁

I have to endure this until late March wahh

I find myself letting off steam by grumbling/venting to myself during such low energy, overwhelming times 😛

Also trying to not feel lonely around people as I feel awkward. Though I’m probably overthinking and reminding myself: you can’t pressure friendship nor emotionally project things/expectations onto others in the end.

I feel like I always have to embrace this “not belonging” and loneliness around almost everyone – it doesn’t go away because I’m not secure and anxious around them/most people? I wish I didn’t feel invisible/low about myself and trying to prove myself lots and not wanting to be misunderstood :’) I sense based on actions that it’s not mutual on their side and/or my side. Finding/making/keeping mutual buds is hard and confusing :’) Ouch.

Just my silly feelings I have to manage and process. Though there are other times where I just don’t care and do what I feel is right according to my understanding/assumptions/biases. Ah the complexities of human nature. Sometimes I do need to kick myself out of my ego, overthink/get self aware and see the bigger picture too haha

Anyhoo trying to manage my mixed feelings with things, work is intense and all I can do is just do what I can!

There’s more things to juggle eep!! Not sure if I should take up even more things to my plate!

I need a break….

And I need to sleep asap!! It’s a struggle trying to get enough sleep 🙁

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