In this blog:

• Tuxedo Mask
• Learning about the Sailor Moon cafe
• Personal update time & Interesting finds!
• Ramble about confidence and life

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Tuxedo Mask/Mamoru Chiba/Damien Shields 🌹✨

I was playing with the vibrant background and ended up with a Tuxedo Mask piece :’) He really embodies Guardian/Protector of the Earth. He’s gentleman who does noble heroics which includes throwing roses with flourish at people. 🌹

I really don’t like the name Damien and I found him annoying when I was watching the anime as a kid, especially when the anime didn’t even have any character development shown between him and Serena, beyond a “cool, dashing, ideal, romantic, intelligent, protective guy in a mask” ;P Still I liked that he found his eternal love again through occasional silly romantic, intimate and cute moments with Serena/Usagi.

I also stumbled across a vlog about a Sailor Moon show and cafe that requires reservation and food ordering in advance (before the pandemic lockdowns). The cafe food looks pretty but is apparently average in quality and small portioned (as per usual with themed cafes) but you go there for the “Pretty Guardians” musical show, really.

You don’t need much English since there’s subtitles and not much talking, based on the reviews. The costumes of the actors are beautiful (also on display in glass cases too) and after the show, they seemed great and enthusiastic in their character roles as they waved to all the customers, allowing photos as they bow and leave. And of course, there’s a gift shop haha

Am I interested? No, not enough to go. I think I’m good with Sailor Moon merch (or maybe I haven’t seen anything I really want) and I don’t really have much space! I don’t have the luxury of money to go anywhere, let alone Japan anyhoo 😛

Tuxedo Mask Take 2 🌹✨

Drawing handsome anime princes I guess 😳🌃

Gosh it’s hard to draw gentlemanly, handsome anime princes with broad shoulders :’) Uh I guess I’m just drawing sailor moon fanart for fun and experimenting with the art style here haha

Lineart phase!

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Personal update time!

Animal Crossing New Horizons: First house extension :0!!

Super cute indoor hangs with @theboyofcheese and @leonieyue! #AnimalCrossing #ACNH #NintendoSwitch pic.twitter.com/VH3t2IBo43

— ✨Laur✨ (@laurclinn) March 23, 2020

💕 Thank you @laurclinn for being my first #AnimalCrossing best buddy & visit!! 😭♥️
Her home is magnificent!! ✨😳
PS: I update my attempts at instagram stories about #acnh here: https://t.co/WV99hNNjmv
I added our little visit there but some text isn’t appearing :0 https://t.co/9p6gJhBXtt

— Leonie Yue ❦ (@leonieyue) March 23, 2020

• for those who don’t follow my twitter and/or instagram, I created an instagram story highlight for my occasional Animal Crossing New Horizons shenanigans! I’m calling it Gaming fun for now!
  • first time doing instagram stories and highlights in recent weeks! :’) Learning that I can only fit in 100 slides/video clips and it’ll keep removing old ones so keep tabs on my instagram for the stories! :0
  • I’ll keep updating my Animal Crossing progress (and other games) over there as it happens! It’ll probably slow down as gameplay progression slows down.
  • I’ll share things about other games I’m playing when I feel like it and pick out a few of my favourite game screenshots at this blog for my weekly updates too!!
• Trials of Mana demo
  • watched it I am intrigued with the story and seems promising! Music is super great.
• Sunk into “how to do Instagram” videos and I don’t know?
  • I do find myself enjoying doing more impromptu instagram stories and sometimes a few peeps respond back through DMs or emotes – it’s little, short, friendly bursts of online 1 to 1 conversation, away from the public eye and not worrying too much about everybody reading it too! It feels nice so far! I didn’t get creepy messages yet (touch wood) :0
  • I feel weird that I feel more inspired to do more with instagram stories because twitter feels like fighting against the grain for me. I would describe twitter as talking to a crowded noisy room and statistically most people don’t see it on their feed, let alone respond 🙁
  • same goes for instagram with the endless feed! Learned that only 20% of your followers see your posts and if people actually engage with it, then instagram lets more of your followers see your posts because they want users to keep staying on the platform :S Not everyone sees your posts since it is someone else’s platform and you’re the product and so on.
  • however with instagram stories, people *choose* to see more of the life/art/game/reshare shenanigans I post because you have to actively select it. It’s not pushed upon them through their main feed. That’s why I feel more comfortable posting extra stuff there, plus it disappears in 24 hours when I don’t highlight it or repurpose it!
• Resident Evil 3 demo had a Megaman reference in it :0!!
  • I got bored watching the game since you’re just fighting zombies and creatures but it seems like a very good game so far for me to just watch ;D
• So much Doom Eternal playthroughs
  • so far it’s definitely edgy, gorey, rewarding gameplay and has many fascinating creature designs
  • I’m not sure what the lore is yet as I’ve only seen one stream. Angels & demons are taking over, there’s mechs and titans and humanity is mostly dead? :0
• Why Ralph Breaks the Internet is a Cinematic Distaster
  • yeah I agree with this video. I had mixed feelings about it and related to Ralph in some ways but was also confused at how both characters didn’t seem to have learned anything from the first movie
  • I really did like how they did the Disney Princesses scenes and they’re all well designed <3
• went into the internet hole with a few Elton John songs because of Rocketman (2019) movie clips like this one of Your Song [Elton’s Your Song, Lady Gaga’s version] which got stuck in my head
  • this Crocodile Rock scene
  • this I’m Still Standing Scene [Sing the movie’s version, Elton’s original version] + got stuck in my head awhile as well as the song Rocketman
  • I haven’t even seen the movie! And I’m not even much of a music nerd and I’m not a huge dedicated fan of any musical artist! I don’t know if I should watch it someday :S
  • ended up watching a few other Elton John songs and live performances haha
• Defending Jacob (2020) Trailer
  • a thriller movie with Chris Evans- I felt unsettled and read the summary of the book it’s based from for the spoilers since I can’t afford time/money for shows :0
• watched a playthrough of Tender Loving Care (1996), a weird, sexual, disturbing fmv game.
  • content warning for sexual abuse and some other things. All of the characters all have their own fully developed motives and personal issues they bring to the table and there’s 8 endings.
  • endings are determined by how you answer the quizzes at the end of every chapter. Endings have slight differences and there’s no good ending; I watched them all :<
  • the campy sex calls were silly and there’s a lot of religious and sexual topics if you read deep into the lore
  • bad ethics with therapy at play too! I feel bad for the male lead’s character
• Mini Nintendo Direct!! Goodness they finally released one! It’s probably the pandemic that’s causing delays.
  • Xenoblade Chronicles: Definitive Edition – YES!!! Woo!! Coming out around at the end of May!!
    • this is a 120 plus hour RPG game and I watched a full playthough of it years ago
    • it’s still one of my top RPG games with its glorious story and beautiful soundtrack. It’s wonderful and highly recommended! 😀
    • I’m considering trying the game and actually play it myself this time! If I do play it’ll probably be several hours, once or so a week at best because I don’t want a huge commitment as I juggle with art and life :< Usually I can’t afford to spend time on RPG games and I watch gameplay instead. But I might make this the exception.
    • ahhh I feel guilty playing games when I often feel like I should be doing art and “productive things”. But stuff having to “always be productive”, I want to nourish my soul too at times :’)
    • I’m not sure if Jenna Coleman will be back playing as Melia. I’m going to miss her voice acting if they end up changing it :<
    • note: my favourite character in this game is Melia <3
  • Animal Crossing Bunny/Earth day updates!
    • still way behind and have lots of progression content to unlock though because I haven’t been able to play at all during some days due to work this week
    • still avoiding and minimising gameplay spoilers until progression slows down for me :0 It’s frustrating when people are way ahead so anxiety and the desire to unlock things comes back. It doesn’t feel so chill at the moment when there’s so much to do!
    • look forward to the point where I can just spend an hour or two on Animal Crossing for the day and that’s it :<
  • Bravely Default 2
    • apparently it’s very JRPG grindy but they’re looking for feedback on their gameplay once you’ve tried/played the demo! :0
  • this “not Splatoon game” with bubble gum called Ninjala is free to play?? I might try it :S
  • Ring Fit Adventure free content update – aw SWEET!!
    • I’m super keen on the jogging and rhythm game!! 😀
    • I’ve been playing everyday except for days I’m in pain, sleep deprived, time poor or unwell
  • Good Job!
    • it looks like a visually interesting, silly puzzle/action game but I’m not really interested to play it myself. Hmm.
  • Clubhouse Games: 51 Worldwide Classics
    • well it means I need to have a lot of online friends who also have this game so probably not. I’m not that interested.
  • Panzer Dragoon
    • my bro is interested somewhat but isn’t sure. Apparently it’s fantasy themed Starfox?
• The Willoughbys Netflix film trailer
  • very cool art style, rainbows and interesting character designs for this animated film! I am intrigued but I don’t have netflix ;P
  • interesting premise about finding and cherishing your own family. I haven’t heard of the books.
• performance of their night show Fantasma! – for Tokyo DisneySea at their official channel
  • it’s been running for almost 10 years and so it’s their final performance in celebration of the show. They’ll take this video down after April the 30th due to the pandemic so if you have 23 minutes to spare, take a watch!
• An Ode to Kung Fu Heroines Part 2 – I enjoyed the video and recognised the featured da-nu actresses (:
• I have a few strangers adding my Switch friend code without telling me who they are so D: Stop being creepy and ignoring what I said about the “letting me know who you are” part :<
  • also I’m not a fan of showing everyone I’m online because I value my privacy and don’t feel comfortable ;P

Ramble about Confidence & Life again.

Read that confidence is not about skill nor results but it’s more about how much you trust yourself. To show up. Face the fears, keep fighting and keep doing it anyway. Try many times, even though it doesn’t work out. Even if it doesn’t go how you want it to, because you want to do it and you enjoy the process and journey.

Do things you’re uncomfortable with that aligns with your values so that you can grow. Keep showing up and try things. Learn, put the effort in, be deliberate and get better with your skills so that less mistakes happen. Stop excluding yourself from things you need and want. Grow from experience and your mistakes.

Choosing to not give up and believe in yourself as they say. Gosh I’m reminding myself but it all feels so vague and abstract!

Now if I ask myself: how much do I believe in my ability to succeed? I don’t know 🙁 There’s so many things out of my control like people, opportunities, demand, competition and whether my stuff is right for somebody’s project. All I can do is keep learning and sharing until I can sustain myself with my career because I don’t want to do anything else :0

To turn the question around to you – how do you maintain/get your confidence? Do you have confidence in yourself? Do you believe that you will succeed in whatever you desire? How? Reflect privately or share your insights – whichever you are more comfortable with.

Anyhoo it’s definitely much easier if you have like-minded people surrounding you on a regular basis on/offline but if you’re a hermit all your life like me (or you’re staying at home), then all you have is yourself, keeping disciplined, managing your own headspace, health and doubts :’)

To go deeper, at times it’s not about confidence and more about whether I feel and believe I have enough practice and experience under my belt. And whether I am actually excited about it and how much freedom, creativity, autonomy and room there is for personal development.

When one is trying to serve someone else’s expectations and mould as a working professional, excitement, joy and freedom is not always there. Duty, keeping to standards as best I can and making sure the job is done becomes the priority for me when it comes to serving and working with clients/colleagues. It’s business in the end, after all. I’ll just have to do what I like for my own personal projects!

I did come across a youtube interview about allowing your true, child-like self to return [about discovering your wild, untamed heart with Glennon Doyle]. Just enjoy and communicate what you really want, before all the societal expectations conditioned you and burdened you to play all these roles. Allow yourself to be sensitive, express feelings, make mistakes, be open, honest, take up space, kind, gentle, compassionate, self aware of your own privileges, not settle and not let yourself be a martyr just because you’re trying to fulfill what you believe is expected of you (by others, community, loved ones, yourself). Who you are in the present is enough at this moment.

As someone who is quiet and sometimes gets overlooked because she’s slow, doesn’t speak up and doesn’t know how to articulate her feelings on the spot until it’s too late – it made me think about whether I do accept myself as I am. I definitely have room for improvement after all. I’m pretty self conserving as the default and often living in my mind too!

I believe it’s an ongoing conscious effort to accept myself and my choices especially with big decisions and promises. I juggle between researching beforehand and/or going with the flow/my gut feeling. It depends on how important it is. Taking things in stride.

I do accept that I’m just a growing art hermit who wants to keep her art career, life and few friendships going, in her own way (: Hope to keep building my skills and confidence at my own pace!

Goodness all of this is just me rambling that I don’t expect it because nothing is guaranteed, but I hope for success eventually as long as I keep doing what I enjoy and believe in, making the best with what I have :’) Maybe that’s some level of confidence there. It doesn’t feel powerful to me but who knows.

Take care and enjoy a good day and week ahead! Much success and best wishes to you! ;D

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