Subtitled timelapse youtube video! And shorts version here!

It’s Princess Daisy and Princess Peach with stylised fireballs ;D

I actually did this last year / October 2023!

Yes I spaced it out since I didn’t want to spam too much fanart from the same game :0

And it ended up being pushed to a year later…whoops.

Leonie rambles about the Hipster Whale high tea celebrating the Castle console launch! Hermit me did go outside (whoa)

I was exhausted as I went out really early with a bit over 4 hours sleep and did other things in the city to make the most of being there.

It was great seeing:

• inside the current HW office for the first time
  • (yes I really am a hermit though I only saw half of the office)
  • didn’t want to disturb people working
• seeing HW peeps (some for the first time) briefly
  • yes even as I was the only one with my face mask on (like with most places)
• chatted only to 1 or 2 peeps though, everyone is just vibing with their own conversations
  • I am passive in group things – just too much stimulation when it’s many people
  • I just focus on one person at a time and listen
  • or I do 1 to 1 chat
• listened to my table’s conversations, just taking it in (the real people beyond Slack & meetings)
  • hey at the least they know I’m an actual person too who writes a lot in text but is quiet in groups ;P
• then I left high tea halfway as I had to leave
• wow the HW team has gotten bigger and we’re seeking more peeps too (see HW careers)
  • I don’t really know most of them well; I just remotely work with some of them
  • they seem great, supportive & understanding to work with on Slack though :0
  • there is some biscuit discourse in which I have little say in because I haven’t really tried most that were mentioned
• It was super fancy and glad I was allowed to be in there even though I’m not eating :’D
  • not comfy doing social eating as an anxious germaphobe when people are sharing, talking over the food :’)
  • it’s not personal – I tend to avoid this kind of eating situation
  • though most people proceed as normal while I’m the anxious one careful with not wanting to get sick
  • I am still randomly dry coughing from my past cold (not covid though) wah

The city has changed in some ways since I rarely go there. I didn’t get new sports shoes as I already got pairs of runners that seem okay for now (I don’t know if they last though). The memory foam sole doesn’t seem supportive in the long run :S

Also I made my hands’ eczema worse; not fun and painful at times. It’s itchy and hurts wah 🙁

And my n95 face mask ear loops hurt me the whole day because my head is too big :’) I kept soothing my ears from the pain 🙁 This is why I use surgical face masks more since they don’t hurt me when using it.

I dabbled into 2 gatcha blind box figures too out of curiosity – happy with what I got and stopping myself from getting more – I can’t afford it and I don’t want to fall into it! It’s dangerous and an expensive rng hobby!

I had to sit on my own to quietly recover my low energy & sore legs a bunch of times too.

And then I got food poisoning/painful stomach reaction to the city dinner…so it was a very mixed, exhausting day.

Internet finds

• dating apps rotted my brain (amandamaryanna)
  • I struggle with knowing who I click with though even with friendships
    • almost most of the time I’m just not sure about people when I don’t really get to know them well
    • how they interact when they’re alone or with different kinds of people
    • especially when interests don’t really overlap…
    • attempts to learn about other’s interests don’t really work out when you lose interest and focus when learning about their interests (been on both sides)
    • I don’t want to force it either for too long
  • in person especially and online conversations are both important to see if you connect well
  • I briefly tried a dating app or so many years ago
    • I didn’t expect anyone to actually try to chat with me as I was super boring and plain with my profile (intentionally because I am not that interesting)
    • no I’m not that popular, just 2 or so people/strangers
    • I chickened out, wasn’t interested, felt uncomfortable, felt the social pressure, they were asking interview like questions/statements and I wished them well and quit haha
    • I don’t want the mind games of managing expectations and just being another “plain option” on the screen either
• girls, it’s time to stand up…. (a commentary on complicity with *PROMISING YOUNG WOMAN*) (syd for short)
  • yeah…if people let bad things happen and still be friends with those abusers, then what you stand for is really up for question/concern
  • can I trust them to protect and stand up against
• The Woman who Shot Andy Warhol – Valerie Solanas (Oki’s Weird Stories)
  • well…I learned how messed up things were
• Pirate Yakuza / Majima game!! Just Majima shenanigans 😀
• Exposing The Flaw In Our Phone System (Veritasium)
  • well this is frightening
  • wished more places allow app 2FA and hardware keys but nope…they don’t bother
• Why Fire Emblem’s Creator Broke the Law (Faerghast)
  • blatantly promoting as if it was official wow
• Xenosaga and How We View Failure (jerrdan / game spoilers)!
• FFX is Loved. FFXII is Ignored. Why? (Kazmord)
  • I didn’t even play these two games, just vaguely curious
  • a lot I don’t understand since I didn’t play it
• okay literally just delete twitter at this point (D’Angelo)
  • I am so glad I don’t use twitter anymore; wow it’s horrible
  • I think new bots are following me there? It’s pretty dead for me since I did quit earlier in the year
• You’re Not Gonna Die If You’re Single (The Zatzman)
  • hey I never had a partner either
    • it is more about having someone you love to mutually care, support, trust and do all the affectionate things to meet each others’ emotional needs and values
    • plus teamwork with all the life things, through thick and thin and being the best-est friend in life
    • plus the support network of friends and family too as you cannot have one person support your every need and expectation – not sustainable
    • but I’m talking out of my butt, I have no experience and I know reality is probably more complex, flawed, selfish, compromising and confusing ;P
  • I could be doing more social things to see more people…
    • but I don’t want to spend too much money :’)
  • yes waves of fantasy, thoughts on what ifs, longing for emotional needs to be met and loneliness happens
    • it’s not great when you’re feeling low
    • the “what if” there’s someone
    • but hey we all manage mixed, complex feelings and struggles
  • less stressed about romance/relationships (it is stressful, time consuming, flawed and difficult) as I’m just focused and juggling other things
  • I mean I don’t know for sure if I actually would want a partner / person deep in my life when that’s a consuming commitment to involve someone into your personal routine
    • I don’t have much people in my friend circle in the first place
      • I think I should focus on my few friends first
      • I don’t think I can make much new friends who would accept my hermit ways
    • I’m very attached to my routine too :”)
• イガク – 重音テト/ Teto vocaloid song by Haraguchi Sasuke
• more random things and creatures shared at my little discord too :0!

Personal update

• Oof my eyes
  • one got inflamed so I didn’t take chances and went to the optometrist again…the internet was not helping me feel better!!
  • turns out my eye mask was getting into my eye and I needed to recover from it irritating my eye when I was asleep??
    • not wearing an eye mask to sleep anymore as I suspect it gets into my eyes when I’m not aware and asleep and then making it easier for existing bacteria to fester more :S
  • then right before going to the eye specialist/surgeon, my other eye got inflamed…why
  • turns out my eyelid needs bacteria cleaned off and my eye is reacting to it – need to clean it myself now
    • do not do microwavable eye bags though, I got told off from using it at the Chemist in fear of damaging eye nerves…
  • my eye pressure levels are normal after all yay!!
  • did lots of eye tests in a row whoa
  • the optometrist lady was funny, friendly and non judgemental of my hermit ways 😀
  • the specialist explained things and printed out things for me; he didn’t write things down though
  • I’m not sure if the retina tearing is a concern but I was told things are fine
  • I got a huge bill again from seeing another specialist….noooo
  • turns out I have dry eyes and I need lubricant (preservative free) eye drops now
  • going to have to get another check next year or so…ouch for my wallet again :0
• Figuring out my health
  • I stress/anxiety/reward/emotional eat and I need to watch it and exercise with more intensity!! 🙁
  • I don’t have the routine figured out yet
  • I won’t eat out on my own as much and I’ll also save money that way
  • trying to slowly buy less snacks and manage my cravings…
• I finally set up my not OLED monitor and it was so time consuming and the colour calibration process was frustrating
  • why doesn’t Type C work with my laptop and it doesn’t detect it…whyyy
  • I don’t know what to do…I think I can’t connect it with my work laptop
• panic with doorknobs (what if I can’t leave/get back in???) and if/how to repair it ahhhhhh
  • trying to trouble shoot it and not let myself spiral too much…
  • gah more expenses
  • learned how to take apart, check and lubricate my door knob…not sure if it’s smooth but it’s okay??
  • the door’s innards were shredded a bit and I cleaned it off – so I need to stop people being rough/forceful with my door and making my door knob mechanism worse
  • well I know how to clean up a doorknob now and will change to a new one if needed
• trying to figure out how to juggle all the things I want to do (I can’t) and what to prioritise (I can’t choose)
  • I need to stop doing fanart for now and go back to learning…or somehow mix the two if possible :’D
  • I am putting learning blender on hold as I don’t have time, downtime or the urgency to right now
  • eventually I will be posting blender things I did earlier in the year though…I didn’t do them recently ;P
• making sure I eat some moon cakes for the season (non egg yolk version ;P )
• work had intense juggling ahhh
  • so much things to do and juggle wahhh
  • so I am taking a longer break now and not going to games week
  • life throwing random things at me to deal with and stress over why
• feeling overwhelmed, always wishing I had more time and just taking things by stride
  • making an upcoming video was time consuming too
• a lot of frustration when the expensive equipment for exercise breaks down and you are not allowed refunds
  • then you have to drag it out to throw it out…
  • it sucks as this treadmill was great for cardio exercise before it broke down and started making scary pitchy noises like it was going to explode eventually
  • trying to exercise without cumbersome equipment again…walking/jogging on the spot like a silly person
  • just feeling oof and sad with money/expenses :’)
• feeling like I should quit Bluesky at times since I fare better at my 5 of my 6 other places :’)
• finished watching Persona 3 Reload (not Episode Aegis/The Answer yet) and parts of Persona 3 Portable
  • I feel so sad and am stuck reflecting on that ending…
  • apparently Reload/The Answer changed some characters a tad much??
  • originally the Answer was free since it’s meant to be the epilogue for the main game
  • well I’ll find out when I watch it

I’m glad I can ramble as it does help sort and slowly process my many brain thoughts…

Anyhoo more juggling with life, work, art, blogging as usual!

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