Does including the topics in the title help at all? If feels like it’s too much and too long and intense so I’ll keep it in the excerpt…

Little subtitled timelapse! [short]

It’s Princess Daisy and her elephant form!

Interesting that I did a poll and Princess Daisy was tied with Rosalina! So there is no winner ;P

Note I did this fanart in November 2023 and am only posting this now as I try to build a buffer ;D

It’s hard though as the hamster wheel of posting things never ends! That’s why I am forcing myself to not do it weekly and take a break every 3 weeks or so and it’s been okay so far? I also need to involve rougher, faster art styles so I’m not feeling as overwhelmed by too many time consuming illustrations to do :’)

Leonie rambles about…

Social anxiety and celebrity worship: the mediating effects of mobile phone dependence and moderating effects of family socioeconomic status (BMC Psychology research)

• so the paper when people are richer and less dependent on their phone, then they’re less likely to worship celebrities and have addictive, compulsive, obssessive, anxious, depressed behaviours? Huh
• celebrity worship is compensating for the social anxiety & other issues in life
• (social anxiety is not determined by socioeconomic status)
• worship increases as social anxiety increases
• the “just use the phone less” or “just be richer” it’s that easy!!! /sarcasm
• though most people use the internet now
• well some self awareness is needed – but it’s more the social anxiety & other personal struggles
  • where people are avoiding dealing with that and their underlying problems – then depend on the internet to escape
• I think so at least with the social anxiety :’) but I don’t worship nor have intense parasocial connections
• does the internet/streams/games count?
• I mean as they say – having awareness, being intentional with what you consume and things in moderation :’)

Also finally finished watching Final Fantasy VII Rebirth last month (only mentioning it now because I need time to process things) SPOILERS:

• watching the different dates and Loveless scenes, seeing the differences from the original FF7
• rewatching lots of Tifa and Cloud scenes; just super happy and gushing over it like a sad lonely person supporting their developing relationship <3
• it’s not a perfect game – there is too much filler (not everything needs a minigame) and it’s super long if you get carried away by the side quests and busywork
  • it’s the Tears of the Kingdom issue where things apparently improved from the first game but it’s subjective
  • it seems most people love the game but not everyone
• Captain Astronaut’s What makes a good minigame FF7 Rebirth minigame tier list
• I really enjoyed the banter and character development for all of them
• I am most frustrated/tense/uneasy with how slow the story is going (though they get to flesh out characters) since we’re stuck with an even more mentally jumbled puppet Cloud
  • (Cloud should be more self aware at this point in the story but in Rebirth he’s living in two timelines and doesn’t see the truth)
  • I don’t hate Cloud but I don’t like him is he is right now; he’s frustrating, unsettling, unhinged, lost, depressed, creepy as a puppet who keeps pushing through and can explode with negative consequences at any moment
  • how the whole party just ignores the red flags and insists on benefit of the doubt??
    • watching over him instead but not really stopping him that well when he gets out of hand?
  • he tried to kill Tifa at Gongaga and then they move past it???
  • the party has no clue what to do with scary, traumatised, messed up, emotionally stunted, mentally 16 year old Cloud who’s acting out his version of a hero/Zack/Sephiroth persona
  • it shows it’s a mixed “do we trust Cloud” and “is this really Cloud” similar to the original game too
  • then again the whole party are traumatised – they just don’t have a Jenova puppet condition/persona like Cloud though
  • all intentional with all the tension and at this point in the story here, where just don’t know the real Cloud
  • thanks Jenova cells and Hojo /sarcasm
• Even so I appreciate Cloud as a character but I don’t like him since he’s frustrating due to how unreliable and frustrating he is and he’s being ambiguous with his relationships with Tifa and Aerith and gets jealous and possessive over both? ;P
  • I do relate to how he’s blunt via his persona – I feel like I say the wrong, literal, misunderstood, blunt things or just keep to myself too ;’)
• Barret is the best character
• the shipping wars are scary in the comments especially with Aerith and the main song for Rebirth is her love song for Cloud…and people intensely arguing about hand holding, kissing, hugging, projecting things onto characters and insisting their “real” pairing
  • gosh it’s frightening how some fans who love Aerith are just bashing Tifa and say that the dates are all non canon and insisting that Aerith will be saved??
  • but the devs say the main story beats will remain the same as the original FF7?
  • Also Aerith keeps talking about Zack and being reminded of him via Cloud (as much as she insists that Cloud is Cloud, she can’t see/know beyond the Zack persona)…especially when she also knows that she doesn’t know the real Cloud underneath the Zack/Sephiroth persona, and is trying to figure out where real Cloud is
  • I feel there is attraction between the two but it’s not based on the real Cloud and it wasn’t to last due to her going into the lifestream
• I was compelled and fast watched over the whole original FF7 game again (though I missed Wutai) and wow turns out they really glossed over some areas in Rebirth like Rocket Town and Bone Town :0
• Fast skimming through FF7:Ever Crisis the gatcha game and it’s really abridged so far! Eventually may skim through Dirge of Cerberus too? :S

Shall post at twitter sparingly from now on (umpteenth attempt)

Remember when I tried to post at twitter less and then chickened out and got insecure because I couldn’t let go of missing out on reaching more peeps? Also how frustrating it is when most people, creators and artists still link/embed tweets and I’m forced to log back into twitter to see them :/ I have the habit of making screenshots of tweets because it’s inaccessible!!

You are the fuel that energises Elon Musk’s hate machine – another great piece and push for me to use it less again!

I’ll just stop posting most of my full art there. Will randomly post for any important/work stuff. Transition out of (emotionally) depending on twitter. Getting back to my original plan with rarely using Twitter for the umpteeth time and not let the fear of missing out get to me too badly. Baby steps!

I was already going to use it less and am focusing on other places but this strengthened my resolve. Not completely sure how to balance this – I don’t know how I should find a middle ground or the scary “completely not post at all” that I’m too insecure to do right now. At the moment I’ll just post the preview image and not bother with the link. And not post every post as there’s some things I want to keep to my blog and my main cross posting places…and then increasingly post less and less at twitter if I can stick to it ;P

I shall test keeping it limited and roughly around monthly with my preview art! And any other important/work text updates! I’ll see how I go though :0

And instagram…it’s horrible too so I just post/update and not care about it ;P Arguably I should quit it as well but with both instagram, twitter, etc I try to not spend too much time on there anyway :’) A lot of people are quitting twitter and instagram and eventually and maybe one day I’ll be able to make that leap and just focus on my blog, youtube, discord and bluesky too :0

I don’t want to spend too much time on instagram or twitter or other crossposting spaces that’s for sure ;P I know that people are going to use mainstream social media platforms less and/or quit because it’s not worth investing too much into them when it’s increasingly rigged against you – I have to keep retweeting just to attempt to reach people for instance :’)

Also hearing that the original Twitter founder Jack is leaving and not involved with bluesky anymore! So I hope they get more diverse people for the board of directors!!

Threads – is it really better than twitter and instagram?? It’s a void for me there aside from a few random kind likes

Personal ramble

• Watched Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2012) –
  • the first movie is way better. I kept wishing for the first movie.
  • This movie didn’t need to exist.
  • I enjoyed “he’s scraping at the doooooooor!!” interrogation monologue though
    • I had a good laugh at how camp and ham that was
  • The rules of daylight went out the window (Ghost Rider only appears at night and in the shadows)
  • I don’t care about the characters and it’s just silly, dumb and lots of black background action moments
  • Ghost Rider as a character isn’t cool anymore like the first movie – he’s just hangry skeletal man :/
• Accented Cinema / Cinematic Themes & Visuals of Ancient China Part 2
  • part 1 is great too!
  • I grew up with both these crossdressing stories!
• watched the demo and ending of Stellar Blade
  • I’m super confused with the ending and seeing how ridiculous the sexual fanservice was :’)
  • Shall wait and see if this game is actually good – it seems to be just rated high for the gameplay fun and not the story??
  • may probably skim through the whole game later but no high hopes on the story
• also finally have a fridge after 5 weeks of trying to survive without veggies and fresh food :’)
  • I learned that a lot of fridge models are dodgy after a while and a lot of reviews talk about how some don’t last (especially when manufacturers get bought out and the quality goes horribly and their decades long prestige is gone) and fridges are expensive so it was stressful :<
  • I can now keep food, freeze food, have leftovers, have veggies, cook something again…!! :’D
  • unfortunately had a horrible, hurtful, saddening shock that racist slurs happened as a discreet expletive during difficult, frustrating, heavy delivery by one of the delivery guys :/
  • It’s not okay but we just want to move on due to the emotional toll the “not having a fridge” thing has been 🙁
  • I won’t be able to immediately have normal food/diet though..that will be this weekend as we slowly recover food supplies back later in the week so I need to survive longer :<

Anyhoo I’m finding that it’s harder to wake up and I keep sleeping through alarms :’) Oof I go to sleep too late too…

This is why I am proofreading and posting so late – it’s stressful ahhh

Edit: Then again, only one person saw this blog post after I published it 24 hours ago so I shouldn’t stress too badly on proofreading now :’) Seems like it’s small reach for this post everywhere and twitter peeps are tired of me talking about posting less there ;P

I think I will post sparingly and roughly once a month or something on twitter and see how I go, stuff you twitter! (yes I’m silly and petty) Twitter gets me down because it’s either big audience artists or people I used to know of have left twitter so it just feels empty and lonely there and many of the other social media platforms…

“Social” is debatable for a long time indeed

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