Speedpaint process & text commentary [short soon]

I did this not long after the initial reveal of Side Order (DLC).

So I made this before my computer troubles. This is the last video I made with Adobe Premiere.

And I don’t have a buffer for this month uh oh 🙁

Keen to play this DLC story and adventure!

For the Splatfest, I am on team Alien and I didn’t manage to get Ruler rank – I was busy doing file management and software shenanigans :’)

And Nessie people won! Ah well!

I’m still bummed I couldn’t get Ruler rank and grind for Catalog points because I ran out of time…

Leonie Rambles

Breath Of The Wild’s Biggest Flaw video that articulates my concerns well & why I burnt out

Why I’m not excited for Tears of the Kingdom – I have yet to see discovery and exploration being substantially rewarding, interesting and unique.

The 10 minute gameplay video was promising – I hope that there’s much more than this though. It seems like there’s a fleshed out version of shrines again…are they unique??

I want uniquely designed dungeons, more stories and areas! Not samey puzzle/fighting shrines and golden poop collection…

And the feeling that Princess Zelda needs to be saved again for this game – I hope I am wrong. She was playable in Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity plus there’s her main character arc in that game!! Please let her do things!!

Again, I’ll definitely play it and I will try to keep my expectations low :’)

Latest update on my computer shenanigans and troubles

Been a good 10 years, Adobe CS6 Master Collection.

Installing broke my OS & core security. Was troubleshooting till 3am; was an incompatible driver for Windows 11. After system restore, struggled to delete all Adobe files.

I'm an anxious husk from all this + computer troubles🫠

— Leonie Yue ❦ (@leonieyue) April 2, 2023

Yeah that was a recent lowest point while I was still suffering from the 5th booster covid vaccine side effects. I got horrible period cramps on the same day too. It’s been an emotional rollercoaster.

So since my last blog update:

• finally got my new computer (and lots of subsequent components) that killed my wallet and I shall continue to be frugal/stingy because things are expensive and I work part time
• managed to save the old computer drive by overriding the original corrupted OS but I will probably put it away(?)
  • I put away the 9 year old internal hard drives away as I waited for the diagnostics tool to run for over an hour yesterday night :’)
  • what to do with the 9 year old SSD 2.5 inch drive with the reinstalled OS…
• my own data is fine and have been saved thanks to the hard drive dock but it’s a mess to organise now!! Had to delete or file away things! I’ve been slowly chipping away at it!
  • I was attempting to back it up to external hard drives too but it gave me the Blue screen of death/BSOD (see end of list for more details)
  • slowly backing things up – it takes a few days to do though so it’s not efficient at all 🙁
• figuring out what/how to back up and what to back up to the cloud – I will have to actually do it and learn once files are sorted – I think most of it is organised
  • just not the messy downloads folder…
• installing a M.2 SSD was frustrating when you don’t know where the screw is and you tried all the wrong ones – it was finally found after much stress and fear that I was breaking the motherboard
• I learned I don’t have enough SATA power and data cables for the hard drives (lots of shapes wow) so I had to wait to get those (and the new fans)
• throughout all this I’m always researching/watching videos and articles on how to do these things
  • I did not ask on twitter/social media since it’ll be a void and reminds me how disengaged most people are :’)
• I learned how to remove and install fans that are a bit more quiet and no more flashy/disco ARGB lighting
  • I want a work/sleep space that’s less stimulating and noisy!!
  • ARGB fan lights were pretty though (I even filmed it before I took it down)!
  • it’s not the latest fan model but it’s not cheap and it’ll do
  • it was daunting trying to install the fans and figure out the power and remove the ARGB cables
  • what on earth is the best fan curve?! I haven’t controlled fan speeds before and I’m just guessing – internet guides aren’t giving me clear answers because everyone’s needs and builds are different
  • I’m scared when my fan suddenly ramps up in noise now since that’s what happened with my BSOD yesterday
  • my fan noise is still noisy but I will live with it since I want my airflow to be good :<
• got speakers that has some degree of bass for the first time in over a decade – whoa it sounds more rich!
  • actually good speakers are much more expensive than I can afford though, ouch :0
• how it was just an old DVD driver that was incompatible with Windows 11, making my whole Adobe CS6 collection incompatible which broke my new OS… (from my tweet)
  • why
  • why you do this
  • when I tried allowing the driver, my system’s core security cannot be turned back on again
  • I did system restore many times
  • I was spiraling and was stressed out
  • especially when I witnessed my new computer being stuck at the motherboard logo on startup
    • note this was the same way my old computer’s OS died
    • I couldn’t believe it was happening again!! I was horrified
  • turns out (after much trial and error and frustration on my end mind you) it was because the old driver clashes with the system/OS as it loads all drivers on startup
  • also I had a goose chase of a time trying to figure out how to delete all the leftover Adobe files because the Adobe clean up tool doesn’t delete everything
    • I had to hunt down and search for Adobe files
    • I was doing Powershell commands and it didn’t work either
    • I had to do two rounds of changing security settings to the specific troublemaking files to make it work
    • I was definitely losing patience here
  • I experienced the value of system restore points here
  • I wasted a whole day and a bit struggling with this when I had other things I wanted to do UGH I continue to be behind on many other things again!!
• realising I can’t use all the accumulated 10 years of plugins and Adobe Photoshop-centric things anymore…
  • I’m grieving I suppose because I’ve used photoshop for so long and now I’m forced to stop? 🙁
  • I’ve read that there’s nothing on par with Photoshop since it’s such a huge beast at a lot of things
  • I might be able to use the latest Adobe Photoshop through work maybe? I’ll find out in the weeks to come…
  • but I don’t know if I can depend on Adobe programs since I have to subscribe if I wanted to keep using their industry level programs on my own and I need to keep my options open? :S
  • I don’t know anymore
  • I lot of PS centric things I keep up with don’t feel as relevant to me now…
• oof I can’t use my Premiere setup anymore either! I can’t do videos anytime soon! Nooo
  • consequently streaming might be easier because I don’t have to edit videos ;P
  • starting things from scratch is daunting and time consuming…
  • I’ll have to learn from “how to” videos like with DaVinci Resolve
  • I’m not sure yet with Affinity so I’ll have to use a trial version to see if it’s somewhat close to Adobe programs
  • Photoshop, Premier, Illustrator, Audition and Encoder lasted me 10 years! It ends up being about AUD $55 a year for all the Adobe CS6 programs so I guess that’s a silver lining
  • when I saw the price for Photoshop nowadays I felt like melting…it’s so expensive oof
    • there is a “Photography bundle” where it’s not as scary but it’s still not cheap for me…
    • maybe when I really have to, I will cave getting my own copy. For now I’m going to see if I can get it via work and if I can live without it with an alternative :<
• there were a lot of moments of “oh no did I buy the wrong thing/brand/component”!!?
  • this happened with my Corsair RAM sticks – I saw a bunch of negative reviews on amazon 🙁
  • I’ll live with my decisions anyway for now, I can’t afford to switch and it’s expensive!!
  • though if the BSOD is really caused by the RAM then I am forced to…I don’t think it is now, since the memory diagnostics tool says it’s fine
• I didn’t use Krita much so I don’t have much to say ;P
• I am glad I got Affinity Designer v1, PaintToolSAI and Clip Studio Paint v1.X back though! Not stressful at all unlike Adobe stuff ;P
  • a lot of software organising and lots of other programs I don’t use anymore 🙁
  • I have yet to set up my art programs so it’ll be a slow journey trying to get my art groove back since I’m starting things from scratch
  • I don’t have any brushes or stuff anymore so that is a thing I have to do too 🙁
• I went down a rabbit hole on security and how to deal with Windows 11 bloatware/spyware
  • I don’t want a Microsoft account and I removed some Windows features like OneDrive, Cortana and so on
    • please know what you’re doing and do not turn off things that might break your OS – do a system restore beforehand!! I’ve made many because I got paranoid :’)
  • am considering doing a virtual machine for dodgy emails but I don’t know if I want to get into that timesink right now – it’s not high priority right now
  • learned about reverse file extensions and how they trick you into clicking email attachments and then they access your accounts via cookies / ransomware is scary!
  • I’m trying to get used to clearing cache and cookies more regularly and it’s a pain
  • PC security is a headache…
• I don’t know if I should get Steam back again since I don’t play PC games in recent years :S
• last night I got a blue screen of death!? WHY! So some hours got spent away trying to repair, scan. memory check and diagnose why my CPU is acting up
  • I had a Windows update to do?
  • it apparently fixed some system things??
  • or the RAM sticks I got really are actually terrible??? I don’t know yet when the error is just saying the CPU is under pressure?
  • I kept praying to the computer out of desperation
  • I lost more time again yesterday and I had work to do arghhhh feeling behind continues!!
  • I made sure to ask for some hugs too :<

Thank you for your patience and understanding as I vent and document my struggles.

I’m trying to recover what I’ve lost as I strive to make art again this month :’)

Youtube videos I’ve watched! Because why not ;P

• On “A.I.”
  • Salem Tovar’s video + the video’s comments on how dystopian it is, especially with the deepfakes
  • Salari’s video on art
    • it makes me think how it is difficult it is to be a working illustrator – technically I’m not since I rarely get commissions (and I can’t right now because I have other things on my plate and they consume so much of my life/time/energy)
    • personal commissions are hard to get, lots of famine periods and definitely a mixed bag
    • it really shows how corporations/some people just don’t care about ethics
    • all I can do is just keep learning, arting and expressing myself – then hope for the best
    • I don’t claim to be smart :S
  • Adam Conover’s video “A.I. is B.S.”
    • tech industry companies doing dodgy things to make money with tech that’s not done well and making tech terms mean nothing
  • I have yet to finish watching the latter two because I didn’t expect that I’d lose hours yesterday
• On Vtubers
  • Scamboli’s “Rise of Vtubers and Why I Hate Them” video
    • the huge/corporate Vtubers are not my cup of tea either due to the underlying idol and super intense parasocial, sexual and fanservicey side of things
    • Vtubers are generally fine just the more extreme/creepy/boundary blurring side of things
    • there are some things this youtuber has wrong (eg Nora Cat’s actual audience knew who they were all along, there was no deception) and I’m not keen on their use of that ableist term :S
  • Accented Cinema’s Philosophy of Vtubers – embracing the fiction/fantasy
  • I’m watching these and more out of interest and because here’s a secret: I already made two plain PNGtubers for myself in November 2022 and have adjusted it on/off since then.
    • Tempted to make another since I’m just learning? But I really don’t know if I should amp up the character design into something that’s not really me but an over the top fantasy version of me where I get to dress nicer :S
    • I made them for the sake of privacy for streams and videos!
    • I am not trying to act out a Vtuber persona with lore – it’ll just be a public-facing version of myself (which is already difficult in itself since there would be a need for some masking as an autistic person anyway and I tend to not talk much)
    • But I haven’t the resources (my old computer could not handle streaming but I think my current/new one can) and I have yet the time/focus/ideas to stream…one day perhaps!!
    • Or I’ll use them in my videos instead if it doesn’t work out and if/when I can figure out DaVinci Resolve :’)
    • if you’re one of the few blog readers, shhh you heard it here first ;D
• I stumbled upon the Rotten Mango video versions of their podcast (audio has much more episodes but I’m not bothered and it’s too overwhelming with tragic stories)
  • content warning: upsetting true crime stories
  • not a fan of the 3D intro sequence because it frames this as a TV drama/gossip or something when the content is about real, horrible, distressing things that happened
  • it does make me more depressed about these tragic stories that reflect how it’s everywhere 🙁
• I don’t really care for Pixar’s Elemental trailer…I feel nothing unfortunately. Animation is great though.
• the Leftist Cook’s “This is Not A Video Essay”
  • felt existential and bittersweet after watching as it goes into a lot of topics, death, loss, planets, muppets, what is art, what is “home”, etc
  • appreciating how just striving to do/express/create what you can is good enough – perfect is unattainable
• there’s more of course but that’s all I wanted to share ;P

My blog bot is done

I also made this little bot because external links get suppressed 🙁
I don't want to stress with twitter so here I'll post art & blog updates separately (not as a thread) in the future.

Thank you those who followed this 2+ year old bot & the kind readers of my blog rambles! 😊💖 https://t.co/9nFybv57mO

— Leonie Yue ❦ (@leonieyue) April 4, 2023

Well I had to let go of the bot. It’s no longer working anymore since twitter keeps changing and is horrible to use ;P

I keep wanting to quit twitter due to its problems but I post there anyway since I don’t really use it much otherwise.

Personal and health update

Good news in terms of health – I’m at normal range but it could be better with my iron levels! I need to keep taking regular tablets for a while and then later take less of them. But technically I’m not iron deficient anymore yay!!

I’m just lacking in sleep and tired :’) I’m just relieved and glad I don’t have to do blood tests nor an iron transfusion because I don’t want any more needles in my life if I can help it.

With blood tests I had to make sure I was warm and with lots of liquids in me – while it’s super cold at 7am in the morning and I had to line up in the morning cold for 40 minutes so it was not easy staying warm :’) Generally I make sure to thank the person doing the blood test/vaccine for me when it’s done super well and fast! This is because of some other times where it felt like a miserable eternity, I get stabbed a lot and all of that reinforces my anxiety :0

So I suddenly spiked back up from horribly low iron levels to close to normal – I believe that it was metamucil blocked/inhibited my iron intake (I changed when I drank it since my previous blood test) and perhaps it’s because I’m eating more servings of frozen/fresh veggies since February? I think it’s the former the most since there was a warning that it might affect medication on the packaging that I overlooked :<

I’m sad that I can’t participate in the daily art kimo challenge this year – I left the server before it started. I felt terrible being there because I really don’t have the spoons/capacity to do figure studies daily and add more to my stressful plate 🙁 The artists there are so good and/or inspiring!!

I also gave up on the Miku Winter figure design competition – I don’t have time either and I’m also not feeling it right now. The finalised 6 choices look interesting! I like entry 5 and then entry 4 personally.

Also a brown bug with wings decided to land on my eyelid last night and it was not fun trying to get it off and wipe my face :< Yeah I just wanted to vent ;P

Well here we go again with a new week…I’m going to see if I can pick myself up, keep doing my best with these troubles and make art this month…?

I have so much to do :’)

I hope you’re faring okay with your own shenanigans too.

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