Y1W17 My #PositionVacantShort Poster’s out! #MIAF14 screening details and finally my #acmidreamworks exhibition visit too!

Leonie’s small blog island says hullo! (:
In this post: I feel so weird using hashtags and such a title. But I’m using it with purpose! I’m finally releasing this poster like freeing a bird from its cage (main site here)! Also a discussion of my personal fears at my reflection section so skip that if you want. (:

Let’s go ! Journal Time.

Position: Vacant Promo Poster: I did this because I thought it needed something to promote it and I kept poking my past teacher and team for feedback since December 2013. Getting this out there finally.
Do you remember my “PV Illustration” notes in my blog posts earlier this year? If you do well…hullo. I didn’t mind working in Illustrator anymore thanks to this poster.
This was what I was talking about. Again, Facebook link and Main site here.
Screening at Melbourne: Hey you! It’s screening at ACMI for the Melbourne International Animation Festival (MIAF)on the 22nd of June, 5:30pm session as part of the Australian Graduate showcase (individual tickets on sale on 19th Monday of May). Edit: It’s actually part of the Australian Showcase on the 21st of June, 6pm plus a Meet the Filmmakers event as well. Even if you have seen it before, hopefully the whole Position: Vacant team (well I will be there at least!) will be there to meet up before/during/after if you like! Just let me know! Will probably create an event page at the Facebook page so keep tabs on that.

Year 1, Week 17 (7th to 13th May)

  • Anatomy Studies: heads heads heads…
  • Stone Project
  • Arm strain; urk; had to do some reading instead away from the computer to get a break. But got back onto regular exercise since getting better from my cold. Exercise makes you feel much better!
  • Dreamworks ACMI Exhibition: finally got around to seeing it but not at an ideal time still as it was impromptu…2.5 hours of taking it in before I felt I was done (but had to stay for another 2 hours).
First up: Went straight to the huge Cintiqs to try out the animation software. It’s kind of too big for me…
I’ve heard that there tends to be loads of people queuing to try it. No queues at all for me as I was first there in the morning haha. I didn’t bother looking at the tutorial for the software as I jumped straight to the deep end; it’s straightforward for me in terms of animation software. Please note the last time I did 2D animation was that rough squirrel ball video on my youtube channel so don’t expect anything good!I don’t know what I’m doing, it’s pretty rough as well, used the straight ahead approach, it’s very unplanned and I probably stayed to do this for approximately less than 50 minutes before people started coming in and I had to get off the Cintiq. Kept hearing people asking about the costs of the Cintiq and program.

Roughs are fun and this is no where near a polished and finished 2D animation as that is where the hard work of consistency, nitpicking and mastery of acting and movement lies! This video is the embodiment of embarrassment and how out of practice I am. Her head keeps growing and changing! What is she?! Jokes aside, am doing this for fun so I’m not too fussed. And I really didn’t bother with a background…

My shaky video of the animation below (I actually pressed play with my finger as I forgot that I needed the tablet pen…and then a customer service volunteer stepped in to press play for me. Oh dear, I’m a terrible artist haha):

I spent the remainder of the time reading, watching, looking at amazing Dreamworks Visual Development art, behind the scene videos, marquettes and interactive displays and then sat around falling asleep (I was tired!) as I waited for a few others to finish their exploration time. Was pretty exhausted to talk much by the end of that day! I will be honest: I wouldn’t want to visit again as I’ve pretty much absorbed what I can.

  • Digital Figures: gestures of horror
  • Characters for the Week (CFTW):  I’ve kept this going! Yes! Feels gooooood. Maybe my mind’s playing with me as do these. As usual, these are spontaneous with absolutely no reference or theme; this is just to see what I come up with as an exercise rather than part of my character design process.
None of these can be explained. Ah so bad. Cast shadows of my cable included too.
It’s getting weirder. Uh oh. Or is it hoho?
Or it’s getting worse especially hands, arms and legs from memory. I have no idea! It’s apparent that I draw weird toony things here while I practice more realistic approaches in my studies.
Playing with art styles here hence the mixture of bad and passable designs (though this is what concepting is all about and many people don’t show this stage).
Regardless, I apologise for your eyeballs. Even #0011 is scolding me. Haha
Four more weird ones on this page; I’m not taking this exercise too seriously.
  • People Drawing: where I don’t know what I’m doing! (:
He kept looking to the side, staring at her with huge dilated pupils in between talking with his friend.
She, on the other hand, was too busy on her phone. Does she know he’s staring and that he exists?
And me? You know what I’m busy doing. *cough toobusydrawing cough*
Some people move too much that I get their features disfigured.
I don’t know anymore
Short poses
Looks a bit trippy at this orientation

Other Adventures: 

  • Games (watching): Resident Evil 4, Garry’s Mod fun times, Final Fantasy VII summary, Shadow Warrior (reboot- so ridiculously gruesome with body parts flying everywhere), Broforce 4 multiplayer failures, Alpha of Factorio, Rayman Legends ending, Dark Souls II (“Praise the Sun!” haha), Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, Pokemon Nuzlocke, Fable Anniversary DLC, Outlast and Outlast: The Whistleblower (how disturbing and tense is this game?!), Child of Light, Ghost Squad
  • Games (played): a bit of Roto on Google Play (tapping with timing)
  • Government Funding Cuts including funding Australian Gaming industry: I don’t have anything profound to add to the discussion and there are already amazing things being organised to bring light to the issue. It definitely impacts on morale and multiplies how hard it is already to work in the industry in Australia (even in the film and creative industries). Really disheartening than ever. Maybe I should quit and throw my arms in the air; haha I kid, I kid! Keep pushing forward Australian Gaming Industry! You are all inspiring and full of grit!

Reflection for the Week

I’ve taken down my “Art Peeps” sidebar section as it would be too tricky to keep maintaining it. If your name was there, it was really my way of supporting you and/or saying thanks at the time though. (:
Fears on my Journey at this stage
I am trying to get myself back on the “sleeping properly” horse as well with the regular exercise so it’s going to take a while! But I don’t feel too fatigued anymore and have avoided horrible instant coffee altogether.Been fighting my fear of failure. The possibility of a day job finally came up. I have been debating with myself whether I should pay upfront the within the next day and retrain myself in a completely another field for the sake of a day job. Had an extensive discussion on this with a few people as well so very grateful to them for lending an ear as the vicious debate kept running through my head.

In the end, I bit my tongue and declined twice so there’s no turning back. Terribly hard decision to make as I’ve been looking for day jobs for so long yet here I was not ready to immediately invest, pay and jump into something and an agency that even my brain isn’t sure about. My gut’s also been yelling at me to decline, telling me to keep embracing the external pressure and fears and use them as fuel to keep working on my projects.

If I accepted, I will probably regret doing it right now (as it is done out of fear, not out of necessity). Who knows whether I’m stupid and/or stubborn; I have already decided but the “what ifs” have since haunted me every time the external pressures flare up. I felt like I was at a fork in the road and I had to choose so I forced myself to think of the big picture and not just give in to my fears.

Everything (even traveling) costs money and all costs related to my adventures are out of my own dwindling savings but then again, arguably I’ve always been a Scrooge thanks to my upbringing! Okay, let’s say I’m always somewhat of a Scrooge and frugal as I really don’t have extra income to spare. So there.

I am sharing this with you because even though I am learning what I enjoy, these are real fears that haunt me and battle with constantly everyday (and I’m *sure* countless many artists too as they all go through this!) It does feel like I’m alone as I sit here at my hermit island but don’t intend to “complain” as I know I’m not alone in terms of situation whether it be someone better or worse off than me.

As expected, the journey is not always fun (even learning has it’s share of necessary frustration) but most of the time it’s persistence and pushing on, even if things seem hopeless and dire and you question yourself, “What am I doing with my life.” Yet you can’t imagine doing anything else. (:

So! I am amazed and inspired at artists who have broken through after many years of incredible hard work and mental strength and I keep wondering if I’ll ever reach past that (I know it’s possible at least!) I don’t care how long it’ll take as I will never give up but admittedly sometimes it’s a battle of the mind to keep going! There’s so much to learn and it’s not just art making itself!

Ultimately, you got to believe in yourself and talk and even vent to someone who you trust and understands. In my case, I keep picking apart fears at my reflection sections instead and it provides clarity for me. Again, this year is so full of learning and growth for me as I learn to accept the uncertainty that comes with this path I’ve chosen.

I guess it’s apparent where my values lie. Like countless others, I just want to draw for a fun, sustainable living and the bonus would be to collaborate with friends in exciting projects in the distant future!
Bring on the challenges!

“Hey Leonie, this time, keep this Reflection short, okay?”
I say this to myself but it doesn’t ever work out! It doesn’t matter though as I’m sure most people don’t have time to read (and this isn’t a takeaway, easy to digest post either)!
I guess what matters is, is that I enjoy writing it all out without fear of judgement.

Keep pushing forward, shall we?
Until next time so keep adventuuuring!Leonie