Well I’m happy and grateful that it’s not zero people :’D
Thank you sincerely.

It’s been 15 years of this blog…………………………………I’m in denial haha

There’s times where I wished I grew my audience into two digits or three digits but that’s too much to hope for at this point. I am an insecure, sad, lonely grump rambling to myself here. Maybe one day please? :<
Also why in the past week I have a surge of views on my old posts from China and the US in the past year hmm…

Please go away if you’re scraping my art. I really hope not. I know there’s no way to stop it if you post anywhere on the internet. All the same, I have nowhere else to go as this is my own site!!

It’s been a suspicious surge of views this year (10x the amount of last year) that I cannot explain because it doesn’t reflect the actual views on my current blog posts. It’s mostly 1 unique visitor view over my blog posts. This month it’s slowly calming down….I think.

Hey maybe some of it is real people……….

Maybe I do have to lock in and make patreon only posts if this is costing me more for my shared web hosting next bill. I hope it doesn’t affect it. I’m just speculating though and I won’t stress about it for now.

Figure studies from early August

I ran out of my art buffer again noooooo

Just note I’ll will slow down and take a break until I build it again slowly and rescue myself from my mental burnout…

At worst this might be the last blog post for this month; thanks for understanding :<

Will this mean my blog views will keep going down? Maybe but I’ll keep going

Zelda 40th Anniversary Direct and the Nintendo Direct

• I do appreciate the Zelda 40th Anniversary medley
• The only game out of this whole Nintendo direct that I’m playing is Kirby and the World Beyond haha
  • I hope the open world side of things doesn’t burn me out….that’s the only thing I’m wary about as I’m burnt out from open world games…
  • see the rest of my discord thread for the other trailers
• stuff you Level 5…look how far you keep falling

The Ocarina of Time Remake art discourse

https://bsky.app/profile/shorts.tbskyen.com/post/3muzojtg3272f
I don’t agree that it’s the same as the Rococo, maybe the dreamlike european folklore fantasy vibes
as the level of maximalist stylisation and texturing detail are not consistent between the NPCs and main characters (Link) because they look of different worlds: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:tpevsfra3q26odg4wjz2cglu/post/3muz7vde55225?ref_src=embed

I’m not used to this fantasy puppet doll stylisation of him, how super shiny/wet/plastic it looks sometimes and hyper textured decorative/pretty clothing to the characters…I need time as I’m overstimulated from it. There’s too much detail at times on Link for me know where to look and focus on….

Maybe it is growing on me?! :’D The NPCs look freaky and great though. Ganondorf looks good.

I don’t like how Sheik’s close up looks as their eye(s) were bulging too much and weirdly whoa

The environments are incredible, maybe a tad too much bloom – I don’t know

I am not sure if I’ll play this still – I need time to get used to this art style and feel mixed with the stylisation choices :<
Link looks much more younger than 10 years old with his more chubbier face, facial feature positioning and eyes and I’m trying to get used to Zelda’s look. I was whuhhhthisisnothowitwas with her very different and pronounced straight bridge nose when she was revealed. I did notice her eyes were green now.

But willing to try to experience OoT again with this different look (maybe JP voices) as the original OoT felt like a slog to play – back when I played it.

Will it get cheaper? Is the physical going to be around next year? What would the reviews be? Hmm…
– my initial reaction to the remake + additions

• there’s times where I don’t know if Zelda is for me anymore
  • I am not excited for this plus this not a new Zelda game
  • and I am trying to get used to the art style
  • I felt like the weird one when a lot of people are hype for it and I was conflicted
  • I do not think this is horrible though
  • it feels alien to me – it is a bold approach
• please note that I did eventually preorder this remake and also the Princess Zelda amiibo :’D
  • I wanted to give Ocarina of Time another chance
  • after much deliberation too – I am not sure if I would like it
  • essentially play the same (original) game except with a new look and “theatre” experience / perspective
• Note my current BIASED and UNPOPULAR 3D Zelda ranking is
  • 1/ The Wind Waker
  • 2/ Skyward Sword
  • 3/ Majora’s Mask
  • 4/ Twilight Princess
  • 5/ Ocarina of Time
  • 6/ Tears of the Kingdom and Breath of the Wild
    • so maybe the remake may change my opinion hmm
  • you can see I am biased towards toony, stylised, charming, colourful visuals and story for Zelda ;P
  • so my preference is not towards dark realistic stuff
    • otherwise the game and story has to grip me
• i am confused by people being “disappointed” that’s it’s a 1 to 1 remake
  • what do you expect when fans also won’t be happy if it’s too different / an entirely different game?
    • make a new Zelda game by then, not OoT 😛
  • I know the original and previous remake exists too though, they’re always there
  • still they’ve added more dialogue, added more storytelling stuff with zonai architecture in there
  • redesigned and extended existing things with the dungeons so it’s not exactly a 1 to 1 remake but still the same story beats and general game design
  • you can jump and probably with an updated the control scheme
    • it was so frustrating trying to control Link sometimes in the original :’D
• sorry….I felt like some of the english VA sounded like Vtubers doing voice acting and I can’t unhear it….
  • and I don’t really watch much Vtubers ahhh
• okay let’s talk about the art style
  • again why are they so moist, plasticy and shiny – they’re all toys/dolls/puppets??
    • some mentioned ningyogeki puppets / traditional Japanese dolls
      • maximalist uncanny aesthetic dolls
      • similar to Dark Crystal (detail heavy horror, odd proportions, dark whimsy)
      • and Thunderbolt Fantasy
      • 80s, 90s high fantasy maximalist style for nostalgia apparently
      • it is definitely a different weird bold style they’re exploring and I can respect that
    • if this is true, I wished they leaned even more into it so it’s more stylised and charming across all the characters and not so visually busy with heavy detail for the 2 main characters
  • Link and Zelda feel like an alien compared with the other characters and have so much texture and detail
    • the other characters feel close to their original designs – why are they doing both??
    • make the art styles consistent between the characters!! That’s what bothers me the MOST
    • the NPC hair are more plastic while Link’s hair is actual hair
    • I don’t know how I’ll feel playing it
    • it throws me out sometimes when it’s “oh it’s supposed to be doll-like”
  • please don’t have super textured detail everywhere on Link – bring back the balance of negative space and soften some texture areas 🙁
    • I had to slowly get used to the visual busyness of his design
    • I don’t like this type of maximalist character design where everywhere is detail
      • where do I look first??
    • the fabric detail is huge with the threads – he’s an actual stop motion doll???
  • everything and the embroidery is huge and chunky on Link
    • I guess the kokiri / eternal children of the forest / fairy people just like things huge and crude in their craft
  • a somewhat creepy, uncanny magical porcelain doll for that dreamlike, photorealistic fairy tale look
    • it’s just creepy because it’s too beautiful and perfect in a way
  • the problem is that a lot of genAi slop images have creepy, shiny, digital, perfect dolls/characters
    • consequently the reaction has been mixed
    • I do not think it’s genAi though
  • I do not like his consistent textured fur on his boots – stylise it into uneven shapes and clusters for personality and wear and tear if it has to be fur!! Ahhh
  • I would like Link to not be baby / cherub faced but hey
    • he does have different facial features from the original/past iterations of 10 year old kid Link
  • Adult Link looks fine though
  • Some did point out that it’s a hodge podge of art styles that’s throwing them off between characters and the environment as well, not just with Link and Zelda versus the rest of the characters
    • natural world, very realistic/detailed visuals and texturing
    • Link with detailed textured clothing, perfect porcelain doll face
    • NPCs are more simple in model and textures and toony in contrast
    • some fans are trying to rationalise and excuse this that Link and Zelda are special by fate and are main characters so they look more alien to everyone
    • while Ganondorf and Impa look more like carved sculptures
    • I feel like the NPCs could have been stylised for more cohesion though….
  • another fan says that the 3D Dragon Quest remakes (DQVII reimagined) are a great example of 3D stylisation balance with the realistic textures in clothing and toony character proportions
    • they actually built physical models and put clothing on them and photographed them
  • Why is Link not expressive with his face again….
    • Wind Waker Link and Skyward Sword Link are both great and expressive 😛
    • also apparently Twilight Princess Link in some regards and BOTW/TOTK Link during gameplay
  • I do like Saria’s new look
  • some fans are saying Link looking cute, gross and ugly is how it should be haha
    • gosh a lot of fans trying to come up with reasons haha
  • anyhoo it will take some time for me to get used to how Link and Zelda in this game looks
• yes people discussing that remakes happen so that new games can be made based on what they’ve learned
  • I am not sure if I’d play a new non remake Zelda in this art style yet hmmmm

Trying to manage my existential burnout

• i am still not used to using microwaveable steam eye masks
  • got a mini bacterial eye infection for a few days and so I need to do the warm compressed more regularly now – I can’t be lazy….
  • I can’t do it 2-3 times a day though….
  • I continue to be annoyed at an eternal eye floater UGH
• another wave of insecurity and feeling like I should use instagram as a “business card”
  • but deep down I know it’s not worth even posting there
  • it’s a horrible right wing place and full of genAi slop
  • it’s great for businesses with an emphasis on aesthetics and reels
  • it’s just abysmal trying to reach anyone
  • it’s all about tiktok (and some of it is fake views) and shorts ugh
    • that was the meta when it first came out…..
    • I guess this hasn’t changed now that everyone is doing it
  • for now my inactive private instagram account remains as a landing page to my active places
    • I lurk and am more active at my tiny discord
    • I still post at cara, bluesky and youtube community tab
  • if you see me streaming one day, it’s because I give up on editing and I’m floundering ;P
• watching these games
  • Orbitals
    • very charming and impressive stylised art and animation
    • lots of cute creatures, interactions, implications on their souls
  • The Blood of Dawnwalker
    • watched the start and skipped to some endings to get the gist
  • Final Fantasy Resonance
    • non gacha version of a mobile game – now a great game
    • only watched the start, not sure if I’ll keep watching – hope someone I watch plays it
    • or read up on the story instead
  • Resonance: the plague tale
    • only watched the start so far…not sure if I like the story yet
    • I don’t know where the story is going
• work – managing and juggling and focusing on what I can control
• games week reminds me of how lonely and jaded I feel
  • trying to ignore the fomo of not “career hustling”
  • taking an actual mental health break then so I can rest up, destress….and chores UGH
    • maybe next year I can brave it and be more picky…
  • I want to have a buddy or two (whom I don’t feel like a lonely alien with) at events
    • not a huge group/crowd :’)
    • ugh too much to ask for when it’s hard to make friends as adults…
  • plus the overstimulation, crowds, the fact that it’s inconveniently at night
  • and it’s just difficult to connect with anyone
    • as it’s just gatcha/super rare if you’d find/befriend anyone who you can connect and stick with (as with any social thing)
    • and I’m not social with groups so I’m pure quiet, overstimulated and awkward ;P
    • I used to be so upset and disappointed when I couldn’t connect with anyone during and beyond games week year after year – I don’t want to go back to that and hope for anything
      • there’s so many cliques and and I can’t relate and I feel inferior compared to their bonds
      • I don’t want to squeeze into groups I won’t ever connect with :<
    • yes I know you can’t befriend everyone
      • most people don’t click with me – it is my curse??
      • also a lot of people I used to be acquainted with or vaguely know who are awkward to be around because I don’t actually connect with them on a deep level either
  • Parallels got described by a friend as the “cool kids” event and another saying it’s not for everyone
    • note I have been to one during 2017
      • I was not mind blown
      • it feels like the elusive “making friends” part happens after the event which is too late for me 🙁
• it’s frustrating when I ruminate too much with feelings and get existential
  • if it’s just me I just attempt to process it and vent
  • I don’t want to fight over things
    • there’s times you have to fight for what you want
      • because no one will fight for you and you will grow resentful of your inaction
      • and letting others take over and who don’t really care for you otherwise
        • are they helping and/or just taking the thing/challenge away??
    • and at the same time you need to know when to let go and move on and not take it too seriously
    • where is the line drawn though???
  • am I hogging it? Am I taking up too much space?? Am I lacking??? What is my part???
  • no point stressing over things……easier said than done
  • hard to figure out that balance of caring just enough to not let it consume you….
    • maybe wanting to feel ownership and agency over what you do too much is wrong – oof
    • when do I dissociate haha
• need to cut down on sweet unhealthy drinks eep
• man I’m wearing too many clothes now…it’s getting warmer eep

Thank you for reading my rambly feelings. Trying to process them :'(

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