30 second timelapse!

I didn’t plan for this; my brain decided to draw this

I hand wash dishes 2-3 times a day and I often have to put medical cream, lots of ointment and lotion on afterwards to calm and/or manage my eczema hand and fingers (and every time I get my hands wet actually). It gets super dry, irritated, itchy, painful and sensitive if it’s not cared for. So I can’t imagine how it’ll work when I go and work outside on a regular basis :’)

Maybe one day I can afford, install and have a dishwasher machine. Again, I won’t count on it.

It is nice relaxing and zoning out washing dishes – when it’s not during humid, hot weather that is ;P

For all those who hand wash dishes too, hello.

For all those who wash their hands often and struggle with sensitive, irritated skin, my heart understands the pain and frustration too :’)

Personal update ramble

Lately trying to not get hurt too much and take things too seriously thanks to my rejection sensitivity dysphoria. It happens every now and then since I focus, analyse and read too much into the little social interaction I have :’)

Or perhaps it’s a good reality call that it’s not really a friendship, it’s more of a professional acquaintance/stranger connection (the line between professional/casual/polite and personal/friendship/compatibility blurs and gets confusing) that there’s always emotional distance if I’m an emotionally avoidant/anxious hermit who keeps people at an arm’s length too.

It happens and I probably mentioned this before – many years ago I had different people ghost and cut me off completely when I politely declined invitations to go out and wanted to keep it online. I guess they took it personally and didn’t want nor care for a homebody friend like me. As much as I wished people would be communicative about it, confrontation and being emotionally honest is scary, uncomfortable, stressful and hard for all of us so I can understand that. Being ghosted and cut off is still an answer. I’ve cut people off before for various reasons too because I don’t have anything to add and I’m not brave, communicative, timely, self/socially aware in the moment and outspoken enough :’)

It’s a mix of giving people the benefit of the doubt, not putting too much emotional/social expectations on others and hoping I didn’t do anything wrong and that I didn’t get left out/overlooked :’)

Also trying to break things down and clean up my messy work/living space and it’s going to take me months – however long it takes as dreadful, daunting and overwhelming it feels to me :’) I’ve got so much stuff over the years that need to be thrown away, rearranged or cleaned up – at least I’m not trying to clean up *everything*! I’ve been doing it in little bursts when I can manage it with my sensitive eczema hand.

On the bright side, it feels good when I learn where some things are again as I slowly clean bit by bit! Wow! :0

I have the (good?) problem where I have so much pieces, study and learning to do but I don’t have the time to finish them anytime soon. Trying to not put hard deadlines on myself, not be too impatient and just go with what I can manage on a day to day basis. Deadlines on self paced shenanigans don’t work well for me when they’re pitted against tasks and things with external deadlines :’)

I’ll just have to live with missing out on the “ideal publishing window” for the sake of my own health and sanity. You’ve probably noticed that I put out art many months later they’ve been relevant ;P

Juggling work, life, art, learning and recreation as usual! Been getting sleep deprived much more in the past week so I really need to be more mindful so I don’t find myself staying up so late…I keep saying this I know. It’s been a hit and miss :’)

I hope this week will be much more low key for me but who knows! It’ll probably be more juggling, stress and dread :’)

Thank you and I hope you’re juggling alright with your own shenanigans!

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