SuperListenMode 295: Matching energy levels

SuperListenMode: Matching energy levels 

I have low stamina so I probably shouldn’t hang around extroverts too long because I can’t keep up, it’s super draining for me and they lose interest for other friends with matching energy, spontaneity and wit than a silly homebody like me. Sure I fake what I can sometimes to push myself out of my comfort zone and let go of my inhibitions but I can’t pretend to be someone I’m not.

I start thinking they talk too much and getting issues, small talk and opinions off their chest when I’m not really part of a mutual conversation, on their wavelength and keen with being talked at.

I become a zombie if it’s too overwhelming. My mind goes elsewhere.

Hey, I don’t have many extrovert friends but good ones are super pleasant, understanding, positive, entertaining and fun to be around! ♥

I noticed I started asking people where they think they are in terms of how they recover energy – with people, by themselves or a mix of both. Then I can mentally prepare being around them haha. And let them go and not take it personally when they need to do more interesting things than talking to me haha.  

Note I am protective with my wonderful solitary time and limited energy. I am selective with who I make the effort to spend time with. I take time to process, talk and listen. And sometimes that’s too slow and low energy for some people. Or it seems like I’m not emotionally there for them. That’s fine.  

Also I do less eye contact if I’m trying to focus on what you’re saying or what I’m saying as I’ve learned that social facial cues are distracting to me. [Or maybe I don’t trust or care about you if I avoid eye contact with you all the time ;P]

I’m not saying that I want to strictly hang out with *only* introverts either. I don’t want to spend time with someone who is an exact clone of me as that’s super boring too! They’d be nothing new to talk about! Maybe that’s why most people don’t want to spend time with me ;P.

There’s many kinds of introverts, extroverts and in between anyway.

As much as I want to feel understood, respected and listened to [and hopefully I’m okay at doing these in return] I don’t want an echo chamber where everyone I know agrees and thinks the same. I won’t grow that way! A good diverse mix would be great but probably not all at once as a group all the time. I want to know people individually first haha

I need to do more structured, hobby-centric group things but I don’t know when I’ll get around to that ;D

Yes trying socialise on *my* terms!! ;P And own it. 

I do tend to hang around introverts more in general since I’m an extreme introvert. Our energies match up better. Charisma, groups, crowded parties and outgoing-ness are not my thing. I can’t deal with too many people talking at the same time, banter, drinking and loud environments. Everything sounds the same to me then. Too much social and sensory overload! I’m a grump!

Even then I see the importance of interacting and growing with all kinds of people every now and then so I’m not always living and limited within my own mind. And usually that happens in groups whether I like it or not.

So I really appreciate it when extroverted peeps make the effort and enjoy spending 1 to 1 time with me too <3  

Ultimately it’s great to learn from people different from you. To be understood regardless of our differences matters more to me (:

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