Subtitled timelapses compilation! (from early October)

Including this piece too! This is the previous part with the previous illustration for this video!

Mallard and Chicken chilling among the stars ✨🦆🐔
This got cut from the keynote but at least I’m allowed to post it :’D
Originally they were sitting on a globe in the universe but I had to take it out :0

Under pressure! Under lots of stress! 💫🐔🦆💦
Feeling this right now too….juggling and stress.
This also got cut I think!

Chicken and Mallard burnt out 🐔🦆

When you burn out and lose yourself on your project and everything else in your life :’)

Personally – burning out is where I am barely functioning, not in control, lacking agency/ownership, isolated/lonely/forgotten, trapped, pressured with too many things/expectations, survival masking all the time, juggling too much, lacking in sleep/energy, not allowed solitary recovery time from work/housework/life admin/errands, not feeling valued/not being enough, always having to prove myself because I get misunderstood/misinterpreted, low with energy/stamina, my head feeling heavy/tired and feeling aimless with everything :'(

I don’t want to burn out like this often nor again!!

Take care things slow and take care of your well being!

Get the support you need! At least slow down :<

(Hard to speak up though when you don’t really know people well…and then you end up freezing up and avoid/hide away…)

Leonie rambles about…

• The Millennial Gen Z Anti-Social Media Arc (the Zatman)
  • gosh the video editing here is incredibly in your face…and too much :’)
  • well I’m inspired to limit myself from some apps like bluesky and linkedin and cara on my phone
    • got addicted to Bluesky when the huge exodus happened…
    • so I finally deleted the Bluesky and Linkedin apps and only check them on desktop when I post
    • I was getting back into a negative headspace when I check and I need time away
    • I was spending too much time that I would have liked indeed
    • I shouldn’t check it daily anymore
  • not sure yet about how to do so with twitch/youtube/discord since I check those more
  • I don’t post at social media much about myself anyway but I do so in my blog…!!
  • I guess I should not share the blog post descriptions?? It does get a tad personal??
    • I think most don’t read anyway
  • Not sure how “mysterious” I should be from the internet, when I’m a hermit and don’t see much people 🙁
    • when I do see people, I don’t have the social energy past 1-2 hours
    • and then I need quiet, alone recovery time so I get back some energy and focus again if I’m lucky
    • it’s already tmi anyway here where I ramble and reflect on things
  • true I don’t really have opinions on everything
    • I’d rather learn and listen for all the things I am ignorant about as a flawed human with limited experiences
  • Or not share so much about myself at my blog??
    • Hmm this blog is for me to reflect like a journal
    • and sometimes I just can’t share all things because privacy is important
    • also isn’t it too late when I’ve been posting things online even before this blog started in 2005??
  • though I talk about thoughts and general events rather than details about specific people/places
  • social media is good though you have to not let the platforms negatively control/influence you and your life :0
    • I feel I have to do this by limiting my access and not staying logged in
  • glad I’m not using bluesky everyday now…
    • it’s only when I’m posting that I check, look at some of my feeds and have bluesky access!
    • not sure if I can even keep up with posts
• “Your body, MY choice” – is the 4B movement the solution? (Bryony Claire)
  • No it’s not the solution, it’s more about focusing on supporting each other and protecting ourselves
  • South Korea’s version is contextually/culturally different to what’s co-oped in other countries
    • it’s been happening for generations already for South Korea
  • it did reinforce that I don’t have the energy/time/interest for real life romance, relationship, another person’s whole world/circle
    • not enough to change my hermit lifestyle and it’s out of my comfort zone
    • already juggling with my own stuff and day to day life as it is :’)
    • and much kudos to people juggling much more people/things/projects/businesses/life things than I do!
  • I’m anxious and think too far ahead when it comes to commitment since it should be meaningful and full of love/compatibility/joy/excitement/compromise/effort/affection/care/time to dedicate your life together with someone
  • plus I’m on the ace spectrum and a hermit
    • I don’t want me nor my hypothetical partner to compromise any relationship/sexual/companionship needs
• The Hot Delusion: The rise & fall of “hotness” (Tara Mooknee)
  • I keep remembering that uni classmate that rated me a 7 all those years ago without asking when I got uncomfortable with what he did
    • gah stop rating people by a objectifying number!!
    • was he trying to make me feel bad? Or to humble me? Or he just wanted to?
    • though I don’t think I’m conventionally attractive anyway
  • again terribly subjective and most people are average looking and not conventionally attractive
    • so super attractive people are similar to rare people/pokemon??
    • I mean I do notice when people are conventionally attractive but I don’t know them like with any stranger
  • personality outshines looks over time
    • for me – it’s provided that I actually get to know someone well
    • and it depends if I like their personality :0
• The END of England (Ordinary Things) documentary
  • a nuanced, depressing, great video where I see a lot of parallels with other countries
  • the rich vs the poor, varying levels of privilege/class, the need for perspectives and empathy and how the system fails many who struggle and are neglected

Personal update

Gosh some stressful shenanigans going on. Trying to support my best bud as they go through difficult, low, hostile times 🙁

I do wonder if I should start doing therapy again but it’s not cheap and it takes a long time to set up and to find someone right for me. And you’re essentially paying someone to ramble and figure out things…and sometimes they’re not right for you. I’m not sure what to focus on either. Social skills? Role play this for the skills?

Pretend and get stressed with eye contact rather than listen to what people are saying?

How about people meet me in the middle so I don’t have to always pretend I’m someone else and we can be ourselves the more we trust and respect each other :’)

I’m doing my own self reflection here at my blog anyway since I’m stingy and conserving energy :’) Self therapy by journaling??

Currently figuring out a lot of life, routine, stress, overstimulation, the food situation, sensory overload things at the moment and in the months ahead :’)

Will talk about it next time! I’m pooped and sleepy…

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