22 minute podcast about my 10 year little art career + process timelapse!

This project & my career rambling is more at the video, not at this blog post!

I don’t want to do voice commentary again; it took all of my remaining weekend and even more days to make this podcasty video :’)

It’s too time consuming to do voiced and edited videos so this is a rare thing! It’ll become something I dread again if I keep doing it ;P

The usual subtitled shorter videos is the default!! :0

Featuring 10 Aussie games:

Crossy Chicken (2014) Crossy Road, Hipster Whale

King of Armello (2015) Armello, League of Geeks

Ruby La Rouge (2016) Agent A: A Puzzle in Disguise, Yak & Co.

Hollow Knight (2017) Hollow Knight, Team Cherry

Frog Detective (2018) Grace Bruxner and Thomas Bowker

The Goose (2019) Untitled Goose Game, House House

Toaster head mover (2020) Moving Out, DevM Games & SMG Studio

Piggy (2021) Unpacking, Witch Beam Games

The Lamb (2022) Cult of the Lamb, Massive Monster

Grace (2023) Stray Gods, Summerfall Studios

And who knows what 2024 will be!

10 Australian game character illustrations

Commission for Ceri Hutton for the Melbourne Games Week launch party cupcake fondant toppers!

Thanks Ceri again for the fun project and opportunity to do cute things!! 😀

It’s been a long time since I did a commission!! So admin and working on it took longer than I planned as I was getting my head around it again. Also quoting, estimating hours, managing during my off days and trying to strive for quality is hard as always. I tend to go ham in intense bursts at a time and then I slow down to recover from all the tense hyperfocus :’)

Does this count as fanart in some ways? Probably! :0

Gosh as with any project it was intense during the art process as I wanted to do my best :’D

I think characters were picked from the AGDA Game of the Year games; can’t include many but celebrating all the great Aussie games!

10th anniversary Games Week Launch Party Cupcake photos people kindly shared here (if there are any from the event)!

This hermit artist appreciates it! The cupcakes are real!! :0

Cupcake photo by HW coworker and game designer, Shane Trewartha! Thank you!

Jon Hayward shared these 3 photos with me to share! 😀 Thank you!

The unofficial Unpacking account shared this at the time! I just realised late <3
Ah they’re named Piggy too!

Apparently there is a photographer there but I don’t expect the photos any time soon, probably way after MIGW ends? :0

If more photos happen, I’ll add them here and notify my tiny discord.

7th Oct Edit: I feel like most industry peeps are too busy to read/watch what I’ve posted here during games week, just focus on the cupcake photos and then the rest becomes forgotten by most :’)

Or peeps just don’t engage with you online for one reason or another. It can’t be helped and out of my control when social media is inherently brief and fleeting.

The rare time I actually do voiced talk with a video it doesn’t really do as well but that’s how it is! The up and downs.

Ah well there’s still a small handful that do read/watch as I remind myself! Thank you if you read/watch/share/like anything and even follow!! It’s encouraging and makes my isolated hermit day more positive and less lonely <3

(yes mindfully I know social media is not deeper connection and it can get addictive and parasocial, I know)

Leonie rambles…

Seeing this COVIDzine “How to protect yourself” by Hasel Newlevant is scary as a germaphobe :'( [shared by Morgan, thanks!]

• read the zine, I don’t say everything! I’m just typing some bits out so I remember it better ;P
• Repeat RAT testing after 2 days is needed even if negative...
  • uh oh I’m scared, I haven’t done that…
  • how I randomly got sick with a head cold last month-ish, even though I didn’t really go much of anywhere…
  • I’m still randomly dry coughing sometimes…eep
• long covid is horrible with signs of widespread immune dysfunction
• covid is still dangerous for any organ in your body and COVID keeps mutating
• vaccines just reduces risk of hospitalisation and death, it doesn’t help with infection, spreading and long term damage
• COVID is airborne like smoke, it hangs in the air for hours
• airflow (open windows, fans, air purifier), filtration and limiting contacts/exposure is key
• I didn’t know there are head strap masks…the ones I can buy at the chemist don’t have that
• on making sure your mask is sealed
• I always wear face masks – I go for surgical masks…
  • I have used N95 but the ear loop straps hurt…I know N95/respirators are better
  • maybe I need surgical mask + layered cloth mask on top :<
  • how do I make my N95 masks less painful :/

Please stay safe with crowds and social situations at MIGW and in general!! 🙁

About…not going to MIGW

Because I struggle with it and don’t feel I can connect with people in crowds/large groups as a quiet hermit.

And yes the COVID zine above reinforces me choosing to avoid events.

And as an insufferable, anxious germaphobe, I don’t want to eat food where guests talk and hover over. And it’s emotionally, physically exhausting…I can’t last for 3 days. One day is plenty draining as it is.

When I did use to go, the fear of missing out exists as a GCAP ticket is expensive and yet you get indecisive with talks and events…there’s a lot of choice. Or not many…it depends how I’m feeling. And everyone had their own shenanigans, events, work, breaks and parties.

All I managed to do is recover in silence on my own with my breaks before I go out to face and manage the overstimulation. And then get sad and lonely when I can’t really stick to a buddy group for long. Everyone has plans or I don’t know them well or I’m/they’re not interested/comfortable with each other, they were only “speed networking” with business cards/contact info, people change their minds/forget or many other reasons.

I end up just observing others instead due to my low social energy and as an autistic hermit :’) It is good to see people in person but it is fleeting and brief and I’m not that interesting/expressive/engaging to be around in social situations.

I’m just trying to focus on one person at a time as it is and trying to survive the day! I have no energy to be talkative and social for too long. Consequently I end up quietly following and listening to people. And zone out. And probably miss some social cues. And attempting to embrace the awkward. Or there’s times when people were talking to me but my soul and energy were gone and I get inattentive and/or impatient :’)

Or when I used to draw speakers at talks, I sat near the front and then that was seen as leaving the people I was with behind…and then when I tried to look for them again afterwards…oof they’re not there anymore :’)

Yeah…I can’t match the energy of actual sociable people 🙁

Though I am grateful for the times I did meet great people! We might not be friends involved in each other’s lives but hey we were crossing paths at least haha

And I’ve documented the years when I did go to GCAP (and yes I went randomly to GCAP last year with a mini vlog too). I think I don’t know much people anymore at these events…I feel sad that I didn’t see much familiar faces more than the fact that people don’t know/care who I am. Anyhoo I won’t talk in detail about the past. I went to MIGW things if not GCAP in some form or another on/off for 7 years. Read past blog posts if you’re curious.

Also the industry is at an uncertain time with many layoffs and few jobs for both newcomers and experienced alike. It’s terribly hard to give advice beyond “doing what’s best for you to survive and protect the joy and excitement you have with your art/gamedev/creativity”. Still very important to both survive and protect what makes you happy and fulfilled…it’s not easy and it’s quite scary and stressful right now…

Also this video by Toniko Pantoja “No skilled artist wants to hear this” about the animation industry

How it’s luck (someone said it’s like Mario Party), privilege, proximity/location, having the time/resources and nepotism based and its terribly difficult with jobs right now.

Also you are not entitled/owed anything (jobs, connections, rewards, friendships, following back, etc) despite the effort and good things you may do. I feel this at times with people. I also feel this when I post and put my art, blog posts and videos out there…I feel like I’m talking to the void, am stagnant/irrelevant and other times a small handful of peeps do read/watch (that I deeply appreciate, thank you)!

Feeling terrible, envious and hurt is normal though one needs to process feelings and insecurities and be mindful to not project negative things onto other people. Am reminding myself too. Just like how before I watched his video, I started following more gamedev/artist peeps but most won’t follow back or are not active – I do follow people who don’t care/don’t follow me too but if I lose interest and change my mind for some reason or another in their posts I’ll unfollow months later (in which everyone does and curates). I don’t expect follow backs but I won’t deny it is super nice when it happens haha

Does one fold themselves for the desires of a volatile industry or create for yourself? It’s up to the individual to juggle this :<

You can’t control the opportunities you actually get – as the video and some commenters say.

All you can control is preparation with skills/hard work (within healthy levels and at your own pace), having personal life experiences outside of art (haha not really me as a hermit), building a good reputation with your work & habits and meeting people (so people know that you and your work exists).

Please continue to do stuff and projects for yourself and for the joy of it!

Indie devs are super important and inspiring too – taking the financial risks, creativity and hard work to build their own creations to keep doing gamedev and art. Sharing their stories is wonderful to reflect/learn from and they need support! :0

Personal update

Yes I’m updating a lot because work shenanigans is happening! With posting I think I’m just sticking to my blog, discord, youtube, Cara, linkedin (industry peeps) and I guess bluesky (as much as it’s a void for me).

Anyhoo I’ve been feeling miserable with my blocked and slightly aching ear canals for some days so I need to go to a doctor soon :'(

I tried ear syringing and washing out my ears and it’s a tiny bit better…

I am trying to not spiral into anxiety and fear about hearing loss. It happened just because I decided to use leave in wax drops to clear out my wax!! 🙁

This was meant to be a break for me…

Juggling life and art things continue ahhhh

---