Backpedaling with my speedpaints and doing voiced commentary as a mini ramble podcast + first impressions on The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom!

RSS, Spotify, Spotify for podcasters I can’t seem to log into it so forget it, I give up 🙁
Full Youtube playlist for the podcast!

Well I am humbled since I’m listening to youtube poll feedback on what videos people prefer ;0

Well I hope this works out better! When I did do commentary prior to this it’s been lukewarm or a mixed bag too 🙁

Edit: well it’s not looking any better either if I were judging by likes ouch 🙁

Rambling away – Zelda and Link

Uh this was supposed to be a quick Tears of the Kingdom fanart before I started playing the game ;D

I don’t know if I would do more TotK fanart but we’ll see.

Thoughts on blog post rambles and more

Now that I am doing voiced commentary, I have to reign in my lengthy rambles here. I really don’t have unlimited time to do both voiced videos and lengthy blog content when they overlap in some ways.

At least my blog is the one place where I’ll update what I’ve been doing on other platforms. And here I shall have longer, additional and/or last minute personal rambles that don’t seem to fit in anywhere else. I don’t even know if the youtube videos will work out anyway.

I quit auto posting to Mastodon because it felt like another dead void I don’t have time to invest into. Cara and Artfol I’m not sure about either. I don’t know if I want to spread myself thin any further – I post at places that seem to be engaged with my work ;P

Currently I am (always) on here, youtube, twitch and I post and hide at twitter, instagram, reddit, cohost pinterest and linkedin. I think I keep getting small metrics at twitter and instagram – I don’t know if followers are even seeing my stuff and/or if they’ve muted me/lost interest in what I post since I don’t see much familiar names when I do check. I have a lot of ghost followers and I am not bothered going around figuring out who’s still active and remove them. Also I’m avoiding instagram and twitter feeds especially since I’m in spoiler avoiding mode for this month and probably indefinitely ;P

Whelp the juggling continues! I’m behind on learning shenanigans too noooo!

Speaking up and attempting to manage Toxic Stress

At times I feel like I either keep things to myself and deal with things on my own (because there’s other’s perspectives, feelings, struggles and for some reason I see them as above myself) or I say things and feelings too bluntly in the moment and then I pull back to communicate my intentions and understanding of aforementioned others’ perspectives, hoping I wasn’t coming across as too selfish and self centred.

Ugh Leonie overthinking things again and I still need to work on speaking up :’)

I mean I learned/got reminded by this video I Healed 30 Years of Toxic Stress: Here’s What I Learned that I am living with on/off ongoing toxic stress with a smoking bear everyday + a loss of my mother when I was younger which all still affects me. This is a good reminder that I have to keep doing my best, have been at some disadvantage, struggle with long lasting friendships and explains why I’m always low key stressed, feeling conflicted, defensive, guilty, tense and second guessing if I’m going to be blamed, misunderstood or insulted as a lazy, incompetent being of malice. Stress that goes up and down, not just because I’m autistic and easily overstimulated.

And I have TMJ/jaw pain from that anxiety :’)

For healing, the video recommends exercise, cutting out toxic/uncomfortable friendships and relationships, good nutrition, good sleep (uh oh), mindfulness (I forget this) and lots of self care/compassion for your own mental health. I don’t think I’m good at all of these :’)

I’ll always be struggling to manage all sorts of traumas all my life, breaking the cycle in someways but not completely and it’s humbling, depressing and brings me mixed feelings.

I don’t let it bog me down for too long as it comes and goes in waves. I just keep myself busy.

I hope you’re managing your waves and struggles on your end okay.

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