Study & sketch post / Portraits from imagination + Figure studies ❤️💙💛💜

Drawing from imagination with a lot of chaos

Unconscious drawing isn’t satisfying for me

I feel like drawing from imagination without direction ends up being a mess and I don’t like, care nor feel attached to anything I make. I’m not happy with these doodles. I can’t keep giving this the benefit of the doubt :<

It feels like an aimless brain dump where I end up iterating on the same kind of things within my comfort zone so I don’t think I’ll keep going with this after trying it out for quite a long while.

Perhaps I have run out of steam and have lost interest with this approach to concept things. Purely doodling from the top of my head without any purpose is not for me. It doesn’t feel that meaningful, fun or satisfying for me ;P

I need more of a purposeful, deliberate, loosely structured approach! Otherwise my focus floats away into a sea of drifting thoughts and nothingness. Emptiness.

It did force me to draw things I wouldn’t usually draw and terribly so at that! But I am not keen in doing mindless doodles – I need something to illustrate, communicate, study or learn about :0

I will draw and doodle from memory and imagination whenever I build upon my visual library though! I’ll keep it as a way to build, get creative, establish and check on my visual library! My visual library is definitely lacking which contributes to my frustration and lack of growth in that regard.

The learning journey of an artist (and as a person) never ends so I’m not rushing it :’)

AI art discourse ramblings

I won’t talk too much about the AI art discourse as I’m not that knowledgeable. As much as it further disheartens and discourages me from being a freelance illustrator :<

Then again, I don’t have much of a freelance illustration career in the first place. This career has always been/seeming like an impossible struggle for me. I’m not “good enough” for regular/much jobs. Just getting by.

It’s pretty clear that I draw for myself and my whims rather than changing myself so that I can work for other people. Perhaps I’m better off doing it as a hobby and side thing after all. So I’m super grateful I have a small handful of generous patrons who are encouraging me to keep going. Thank you <3

In some ways it does feel like it’s over. It bugs me that living artists’ work and art styles are being used as a reference without consent/permission/rights/license for instance. What is art? Who owns this AI art? How does copyright work? Is it AI art, art? What is “creative”? What is “original” in terms of intellectual property? Are artists just tools/art monkeys? Are ethics out the window? In what ways would we use AI art as a tool? How will the entertainment industry change for artists? Can we do anything? Are we being made redundant for some/many of the low paying/starting jobs? Are all these years of learning the craft and art not lead towards a sustainable art career after all? Are we all heading towards automation of all jobs because people want to maximise profit over everything else?

From a naive perspective, as artists we can still create and express what we want and enjoy I guess. It’s not a career you would do to maximise profit anyway because we’re terribly undervalued as a whole. But we do want to be able to earn a living :’)

I don’t know anymore. Uncertain and sad about these things.

Figure studies from Eadweard Muybridge photo plates!

Iterating based on other poses

I hope to get back to studies later next month?

I’ve been busy (slowly) juggling with work, life, learning and art making. The usual.

I’m feeling frustrated, somewhat stressed at times with the juggling, am tired, groggy, tense, sore and my painful cramps are getting to me (it likes to happen over the weekend & start of the week!!) Ahhhh!

Trying to figure out ways to be less tense and trying to get some eye check ups happening since I haven’t been since the pandemic :<

I have chosen Team Gear because I need to be practical on a deserted island

Struggling to make time to play games too!

I’m still slowly going at Splatoon 3’s story mode at S5, going through the levels and have yet to complete the two harder levels at S4.

Doing what I can day by day – here we go towards another week! :’)

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