Feeling vulnerable and anxious about my feelings

And struggling to express that.

Love? Longing? Loneliness? Projection? Desire?

Wanting to be cared for? Chemicals & fantasy of the mind?

Lacking in intense feelings? Apathy? Numbness? Emptiness?

Vague foggy road ahead? Facing the void? Everything?

I need to doodle more from imagination even though the majority are terrible doodles :’)

Hiding the sad, insecure and tense mixed feelings

And yes I’m just acknowledging and writing out my silly feelings here and not doing anything beyond that as usual ;P

Same character being used as watercolour practice for the Bryce Kho course I’m rushing to watch through because of the annoying course platform changes, them removing the points system that helps extending time to access lessons and the resulting stress inducing deadlines (not due to the course itself).

I am enjoying it but I can’t really talk too much about the course when I haven’t done most of the homework yet! Will do more homework slowly when I go back through it again.

I will probably show progress and let that speak for itself rather than do a written, subjective review as I go along. Not really bothered nor interested in analysing and reviewing things seriously. Make your own opinions ;P

I did 4 sketches/attempts before I reached this one. Traditional art is very brutal and challenging. But fun!

Lots of living with mistakes :’)

Not the first time I did watercolour art but I’m not very skilled at controlling the water flow and am lacking in experience. I hope to play with markers and more kinds of pen too eventually.

Finally I’m trying to not be too anxious about my health, am doing the scary, expensive medical scans this week, dreading next week’s doctor visit and having to disrupt my hermit space later in the month.

And fears I’m doing too much wrong with self care, my health and with my life. Hoping I didn’t forget important info :<

Striving to keep my mind off it by keeping myself busy in the present.

It’s out of my control anyway right now. I hope it all goes well :’)

And I hope today goes well for you!

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