Character design / Carmen from Bowl Of Mystery 💛🧡 + LeonieUpdate!
In this little LeonieUpdate:
- Process for my Mischievous Character & final designs
- little personal update, FaceYourArt challenge & thoughts on the Mean Girls Musical
Carmen from Bowl of Mystery!! 💛🧡
My last character design!! Her personality is mysterious, cheeky, flirtatious and incredibly guarded with her true feelings. She’s pretty much emotionally lonely, depressed and looking for meaning and deeper connection beneath her magician persona.
Character design & illustration process!
Initial sketch: where I do the obvious “foxy” approach haha
2nd sketch: changing it up and figuring out clothing
3rd sketch: iterating continues
4th sketch: iterating continues, trying out shorter hair and flower petal dress
Final sketch: I don’t know if I like it but here we are!
Final illustration: not sure if the colours are working but yay! I’m done designing and illustrating all 6 characters! ^o^
- had another level of covid19 lockdown restrictions where I am
- it’s been concerning, uncertain and scary. Hoping things eventually get better with less cases and gets more manageable from here :<
- hoping you’re faring okay and safe on your end during these difficult times!
- slowly uploading the SLM comics to Tapas too :0!!
- still future SuperLeonieMode comics will always done as a “when it feels right” irregular basis
- Second guessing, self doubt and indecision with narcissists
- this feels too real where I doubt my feelings and reality sometimes :’) Doubting that I’ll ever get anywhere constantly .____.
- trying to not get held back by these feelings; it’s just not always easy when you disqualify and exclude yourself without trying
- for now I’m cautiously hoping that I’ll get to a financially stable life someday while progressing at art and life :’)
- The fear of being alone and narcissistic relationships
- I watch her videos as it feels validating <3
- practice being alone? I’m not used to living alone but I’m used to being alone in that I never had a relationship ;P
- in terms of company, I think I have the fear of abandonment more than the fear of being alone :<
- Always learning to let go of people when they’re not there/responding much or anymore,
- not taking things too personally and be okay if things don’t work out the way you’d want it (it’s usually the case),
- even though you might have moved on and lost interest, peeps might get back to you eventually (weeks, months, years) if they’re sticking around and still remember you. But in most cases they’ve moved on and lost interest already haha
- that most people can’t always be there for you when you need someone and that’s fair,
- sometimes you just need time for yourself doing things that you enjoy and nourishes your heart and mind,
- how you need to hang around understanding, kind people you feel great and comfortable around (without anxiety nor pressure)
- respecting each other’s boundaries and personal space,
- do say how you feel and think when mutual trust, interest and respect is established with reliability
- and don’t expect and pressure things from people
- figuring out about what I post continues and will be a lifelong, ongoing process! Been stumped for a handful of days.
- especially how to fit in sketchbook & studies into my art making and posting schedule again. I hope people are okay with studies and not always finished illustrations!
- I’ve been rusty and procrastinating from studies and I need to grow :’)
- Mean Girls Musical thoughts; I watched two different casts
- Stop (on Broadway) song is pretty good. I don’t know if I remember any other song; the songs are alright for moving the story along – they just didn’t stick in my head :S
- I think I like the movie better? But I watched the movie ages ago.
- Maybe I’m tired of musicals focused on predictable teen drama.
- Or the themes didn’t resonate with me since I never wanted to hang out with popular people or blatant cliques. I didn’t want to belong enough (nor do I have the stamina and energy) to mask myself and actually fit into groups. At best I’m an awkward, quiet zombie :’)
- it has a good message about being your weird, kind self and loyal to your true friends. And not about worrying about what people think and popularity by staying true yourself.
- it did feel long and simplistic a story to me as I look back :S Hey it works! It’s good!
- I skipped parts around the start and end since I got bored and impatient. Goodness maybe I am a grump now! Don’t mind my silly opinions; I’m sure you have your own :’)
- watched some moments of people playing the Fall Guys game
- colourful, simple, silly on obstacle courses
- it seems fun for a while? And team battles seem easy to lose
- the controls are janky apparently and the game can get laggy – it seems difficult to do things :0
- there’s room for improvement based on what I’ve seen and on what people say (at the time of writing) – to allow the ability for private lobbies, take away the unfair team battles or separate it from solo runs, take away the tail game, put in more maps, games and content (not just cosmetics)
- only a small development team too! They need more help to get the ball rolling! :0
- but I’m just a watcher; I haven’t played it haha
- Based on the AI Dungeon streams I’ve seen, it creates super weird, random, violent and/or sexual stories from the internet. Um okay :0
- Pikmin 3 Deluxe got announced! May play it again! :0!!
Here’s my silly faces 💙
Slowly I’ve been making more art this year, I’m less burnt out & hope I keep progressing at my turtle pace 🐢💦
Overall I’m super grateful for your kind support & encouragement! It feels less lonely ❤️
I say it feels less lonely because sharing and posting my art and thoughts is like being alone with people you can’t physically see or know (passive online internet consumption). As a hermit most of my life, I’m embracing, accepting and appreciating that I’m alone with online company :’) It’s not to the deeper extent of youtubers and streamers due to them having audio & video (and even an live audience) but all the same, this is parasocial relationships at work indeed!
Hey it’s a comfortable and “safe” amount of emotional distance and more manageable for me as a low energy introvert. Social groups give me anxiety and overwhelm D: Shall cherish the few friendships and acquaintances I have now and not force any new or distant friendships.
All the same it’s heartwarming, humbling, encouraging and reassuring that some people still support and enjoy the work I do. Thank you!! <3
And yay for being less burnt out! Indeed I’m not getting enough sleep sometimes and I’m always struggling with self doubt on my life, career and art. Otherwise I’ll keep managing my energy levels and appreciate the little steps of progress. What else can we do but keep doing what we can? :’)
Anyhoo, I’m going to do my best at making and learning art. And juggle life things. Thank you so much for reading!! I hope you have a wonderful, low stress day and rest of the week <3