In this MondayLeonieUpdate:

• a little random SuperLeonieMode comic
• my unpublished Animal Crossing patterns
• personal update, thoughts on Outer Wilds, learning about Covid19 risks, The Boy Who Would be King (2019) & more
• blocking myself from social media most of the time
• Reflecting about having Autism: building confidence & letting go of people you love/like
• Leonie’s Animal Crossing & gaming shenanigans!

Leonie cautiously does a little personal comic (#313)

My idealistic hopes for the future during our current, troubling, stressful, depressing, frustrating, disheartening, disappointing, scary, isolating, difficult, messy times :’) 🧡 I wanted to inspire a little more hope within myself as an evolving person and artist too.

Stressing that I’m doing this quick comic on an impromptu, random basis, out of self expression and to give myself a little buffer!

Also I’ve changed SuperListenMode to SuperLeonieMode because based from experiences, I turn into a drained zombie when I’m in Listen mode for too long. I can’t sustain it if there’s no time to process things! ;D

Plus it felt apt to name it after myself (however egotistical it feels) because I can only express my own personal, introverted, hermit experiences and I won’t claim to understand the experiences of others. I will be open to listen to others’ experiences instead. I’m just going to own this new name and get used to it instead of squirming from it. :’)

Digressing. It definitely will be far from easy but I hope we rise and change for the better from all this <3

My Animal Crossing Pattern Designs

I only made my self portrait in Animal Crossing because I wasn’t bothered doing more custom designs. I already sunk too much time into this game! :’)

It was fun to do some pixel art though!

---

Leonie’s personal update & ramble

• Aww hearing how people in relationships do everything together and feel complete with each other is wholesome 🤎! Feels so elusive for me haha
• The Cisgender Voyeurism of The Last of Us Part II (spoilers article)
• Wow I’m not subscribing but even Hamilton is on Disney+!
  • when I’m in the mood for it, I hope to get around to watching it one day some way or another :’) It seems to be really good :0
• Strict English alphabet when teaching Japanese students [the blog post in detail]
  • where they’re unnecessarily and ridiculously super strict on how english letters are handwritten :<
• Lessons from people who are “immune” to narcissists
  • goodness I’m not fully immune as I do get angry but essentially this is what I do to survive being around a narcissist by not taking things personally (the video goes into more depth) :0
  • it still takes a huge emotional toll on me on a daily basis 🙁
• I relate to this random tweet about “revenge bedtime procrastination”
  • this is where you don’t have daytime to do what you really want so you stay up and deprive yourself of sleep
  • indeed I don’t have control over my morning/daytime so sometimes I work late hours & lack in sleep :’)
  • Do you relate? :0
• Watched Outer Wilds
  • super intriguing, incredible, slow, intense, thought provoking, terrifying, existential and mind blowing sci-fi/space storytelling and experience! No wonder it’s game of the year!
  • meaningful lore intertwined with puzzles and discoveries which influences progress
  • and I wasn’t even paying attention a lot of the time until the last stretch! It feels like a game that’s best experienced by playing
  • transitions between things and moments were wonderful
  • goodness it reminds me of the joy of learning about our universe, space and stars. It’s wonderful and makes you appreciate life much more (:
• Covid-19 risks, knowing them and how to avoid them
  • this was written by a Comparative Immunologist and Professor of Biology who works to translate (for laypeople) the data & findings provided by scientists
  • please take a read to stay safe and protect yourself! Feel free to do your own well informed research too as things develop.
• Watched The Boy Who Would Be King (2019) [spoiler talk]
  • it is a predictable, cheesy, convenient, simple family/kid movie with simple villains and archetypes but I still enjoyed the ride!
  • the younger version of Merlin is amazing at his role! So tall, confident and lanky too!
  • all of the main lead kids are great and I liked Betters a lot (:
  • the code!! Honour, truth, loyalty, kindness and resilience!
  • I was surprised Patrick Stewart was in this movie :0
  • “You are not special at all” trope
  • the design for the monstrous Morgana reminded me of of a lady Gollum-dragon, hungry for the sword of Excalibur
  • I liked the 3D animation sequence at the beginning
  • wholesome, simple ending (:
• A streamer quoted his relative saying “super fake, disingenuous people have many friends and real, genuine people will have two friends“
  • gosh. This stayed with me. I feel this so much my whole life
  • many people show their true colours over time and you feel betrayed, insignificant and disappointed
  • and then over time your circle shrinks as you grow older and you’re too wary to make new friends (let alone a relationship)
  • I used to think I *have* to have many friends in order to build a career. I used to stress out about that so much and so I forced myself to do crowded social/networking things in the past. A lot of things is a numbers game as you search for the rare, right, quality, compatible people too.
  • indeed I can’t do everything on my own in life and that’s when it gets isolating and lonely whenever I compare myself to others.
  • Few people will remain truly as your reliable, consistent, loyal, trusted friend so we have to cherish them! Makes me grateful for my best buddy! And I hope to continue to maintain my current few friendships too (:
  • all the same, I’ve always enjoyed doing solitary things – it rocks!

Blocking social media almost all day

• I became lenient when my software blocker failed me in recent months (since May or something I think?)
• I find myself mindlessly checking too much for validation and checking on recent terrible, disturbing news. Slipping back into looking at social media isn’t helping my emotional well-being and use of time. Whoops :’)
• But I have found something else to software block and limit myself from social media and from looking at my blog’s statistics at my desktop.
• I’ll keep my ipad available and out of reach if I really *need* to post art or check social media during breaks.
• I need space away so I’m software blocked for most of the day and my limit is 6-10 ish minutes a day on the desktop from the late afternoon onwards! Edit: I’m blocking it from my desktop altogether.
• Do reach me at my blog comments, email or discord! I can check those more frequently and tend to those better 💙
• Otherwise do be patient with me as I’m not often on social media. I will slowly catch up! :’)
• Thanks for understanding as I try to limit and manage how much time I spend on social media. I’m just going to embrace what I enjoy using more :’)

Leonie reflects on videos about Autism

Focusing on Autistic Strengths and building confidence

• it’s validating to hear that it’s okay if I’m still learning to let go of the exhausting practice of masking and grow to feel more confident in who I am :’)
• yes my socialising maximum is one to two other people in the group – otherwise I can’t deal with it
• yes I’m slow to joining group conversations so I don’t bother

Letting go of Someone You Love (Autism and Broken Relationships)

• logically it makes sense to make sure you have an emotional support network so you’re not relying completely on person and you’re not falling apart when things don’t work out and people disappoint and fade away from each other
  • learning to not put all my energy into one person is hard! I don’t know how people manage many friends :’)
• When it comes to people I care about, I too refuse to lie, to be superficial, play with power dynamics, manipulative games and deal with unnecessary communication barriers as someone in the comments puts it. Sounds exhausting, hurtful and confusing anyway.
  • Masking shouldn’t be needed, the more someone has earned my trust and respect. Things shouldn’t be exhausting, stressful, negative, doubtful, heavy and anxiety-ridden either
  • if someone keeps dismissing you and tries to change and guilt you even though you’ve explained to them how they’re disrespectful of you and who you are, it’s time to let go
  • other times people just disappear, flake and ghost on you and you don’t know why. Not analysing and speculating on the “why” is the hard part
• embrace the discomfort and face the truth they they’re not reciprocating and not as interested. Something I have to keep reminding myself :’)
  • learning the let go emotionally is always difficult :<
• ah processing the mixed feelings of emptiness, grief and loss of friendships and the pain of failed/potential relationships
• I agree with someone in the video’s comments – I just cherish when things are going well and not expect them to last forever
  • when things break apart and people fade away, I just have to deal with it, mourn and move on :<
• I’m more of a “if you’re not part of my life, then you’re not really a friend” and I’m not too great at keeping vague acquaintances
• sidenote: how do people cope with not having any solitude when they’re in relationships???
  • Do they arrange time away from each other?
  • I need lots of solitary recovery time :0!
• is an honest relationship a fairytale for most people? Hey not everyone is suited to be in a relationship. Who knows. I’m just thinking aloud in text here :0

Leonie’s Animal Crossing & gaming shenanigans~!

Ta-dah! It’s me dressed up for Fairytale shenanigans!! 😀

Molly. Is. So. Cute!!! ^o^!!

Slow progress on my AC friendship wall!! Presented by LeonieBear ;D

I know Dom is popular :0 I just don’t need another jock character ;D

Yes I gotta get the new Xenoblade Tetris 99 skin ;D

Woo playing Mario Kart on the Switch Snes!

It’s great to ramble & play with my regular gaming buddy again 😀

Finally I have created 4 perfect snowboys >:I

Pascal, I just met you but I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Now I’m hungry for cookies though :<

The diving stuff feels really relaxing and slow to do! I won’t rush to collect everything though. Also I’m slowly detaching myself from playing Animal Crossing daily (such a timesink!!) so I just have to play it by ear as usual.

Aw yes!! Striving to do at least 1000 jumps a day!

I’m glad it counts beyond 1000 jumps now! (:

I think double jumping is cheating so I try not to do it intentionally :0

Jump Rope Challenge update!! Woo! Aside from my best buddy, no one I know plays this daily (when able) as I do!! Have you tried it already?

Thanks so much for reading!!

Have a wonderful and safe week ahead. Make sure you’re doing things that are meaningful, fun and nourishing too! (:

May things get easier, better and safer! Please take care and best wishes (:

---