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Monday, August 27, 2018

SuperListenMode: Bring Back Love Baby!


SuperListenMode: Bring Back Love Baby!

Jam it!! PUMP IT UP!!!
RAHHHHHHHHH!!
I can't be the only one right? ;)

Please ignore this Mighty peeps haha

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Moments when I get to chill in the moments of glorious solitary quiet during early mornings or when people leave for impromptu breaks. I get super protective of it even though I should be socialising and get to know people better. I'm terrible and lazy at it. The silly irrational, childish "wahhh no one else should come in early too!!" but when people talk to me 1 to 1 during mornings, I'm actually good and I welcome it as it's just us talking, getting to know each other better and bonding haha. 

When sometimes I get to talk 1 to 1 with somebody without worrying that we're in an open office, those moments are wonderful! 

Admittedly I close up and get all tense up when it's an open office. And then I go into Listen Mode instead by nature rather than talk anymore. If there's many people at once to handle and within earshot...I just listen instead. 

If I know the majority of the people individually and comfortably well, then it's different :0

Hey I need to save my energy to do work...
I get sleepy during afternoons as it is already haha

I guess that's why I work from home at least once a week now, at the risk of working overtime, missing out on end of the week social shenanigans :') I get to work with cool people around me and then a day of [mostly] solitary work for myself (: 

Though I'm still super reserved and in my own invisible isolated island even at work. And not approachable. Probably :'(

I'm not intentionally being passive aggressive against anyone who knows me. This is more about self reflection towards further clarity. It's not changing right now as I've been managing my energy the best I can. Following from last week's comic, it's more about acceptance rather than forcing and pushing myself to be someone I'm not. 

I just want to focus, learn and do my best at work at the least.
And bond with a work buddy or two (: 

It's my own personal thing I'm accepting for now. My reality. 
It's my responsibility. 

Gosh I flip flop at times because I know I want to be better :'(

I hope I'll figure it out in a way that works for me. 
Gosh this is loosely Part 2 to this comic.


Perhaps I should just accept that that's how I am and have always been. And stop wishing I was somebody more sociable, popular, generous, giving and outgoing and extroverted.

I need to embrace how I am and as an art ghost ;P

When I want to and am able to act upon it with confidence, I trust I will.


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Digress! Yes it's the first opening theme song of the anime Fist of the North Star.
No I haven't watched it...I've read that it gets repetitive and I don't think it's my cup of tea. But this song is incredible!!

It's helped me to push through some difficult work and focus! ^o^
Powerful love song.

Song in question: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxkezvGwI20
Super incredible cover of it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXNz9DIQNLo





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