Monday, April 30, 2018

SuperListenMode: Feedback Loop!

SuperListenMode: Feedback Loop!

Hey when teamwork is involved, you have to expect changes along the way! Always make sure we're all on the same page for the project. (: 
Even if it means we start all over again...we get closer to what we need!

Sometimes I expect to start over as I wait for feedback haha
It does get exhausting though and it gets to a point where I really, really need a break before I can see things with fresh eyes again. Especially when you don't know what you're doing anymore.

Ultimately it's not "my" project. But "our" project ;)

Friday, April 27, 2018

Quick BurpDoodle for Celeste: Madeline

Quick #BurpDoodle for Celeste: Madeline
I didn't play it because I'm terrible at games but I did watch it for the story (: 
Really wholesome game in design, characters and music!

Thursday, April 26, 2018

SuperListenMode: The other side of Super Listen Mode

SuperListenMode: The other side of Super Listen Mode

I don't mean to make anyone uncomfortable when I'm intense, quiet and listening :<

I just don't have anything to say when this happens...it's okay. It's not your fault.
I'm bad at keeping conversations going...
I'm not thinking about the next thing to say during these times; I'm just listening to you, thinking over what you've said, in the present moment.

I say this because it gets awkward when the other person looks at me & expects me to react or say something. I'm just listening though :') Sometimes I exaggerate my feelings and respond to make sure I acknowledge and appreciate them but sometimes I don't have the energy or natural inclination to.

Yes I'm probably overthinking it and people don't actually care, the usual ;P

Still. I know you're just standing there observing my terrible attempts to connect with you :') Thank you for accepting my weirdness.

Monday, April 23, 2018

SuperListenMode: Recreational guilt

SuperListenMode: Recreational guilt

I feel guilty at times that I'm relaxing and doing some self care away from art but I'm getting better at allowing myself to just enjoy the other parts of life. :D


Sometimes I don't enjoy recreation & moments of much needed rest and recovery when I feel like I could be doing art :') The guilt! Oh noes!
Consequently I just watch, read and learn about things instead!

Other times, I just fall into an existential crisis. Why am I doing things? Why should I bother do anything? Just chill, zone out and think about things and my mixed feelings.

Consequently recreational shenanigans is a welcome distraction for a while.
Do art or non-art things I enjoy! ^o^

Hey I'm making myself take a day off per week at least!

...How do you be a hoomin? :0
How does one have a balanced life? Haha

Friday, April 20, 2018

BurpDoodle for NieR:Automata: 9S & 2B & Emil

BurpDoodle for NieR:Automata: 9S & 2B & Emil

I played and finished at least all 5 core endings earlier in the year, watched 2 different people play through the game too, read as much heavy spoilery canon lore as I could, read and listened to the post game concert readings, YoRHa stage play, short stories, the Heavy Spoiler Dinner Talk Show, refreshed myself on NieR [I have already watched a whole let's play before Automata came out], Drakengard 1 to 3 and consequently I feel a deep, complex sense of sadness and am left questioning on what it means to live, love, die, to be human and to have memories. Existentialism the game.

I had to give in and played on easy mode late into my 1st playthrough or I would have completely killed my hands and arms playing. It's not perfect as a game as there were some unnecessarily frustrating bits and some tedious parts but overall the good definitely outweigh them. The complex multi levels of storytelling and incredible world building, how most of the game design that cleverly supports the storytelling, dark themes in the side quests too, and the melancholic, beautiful music and audio design was what made it memorable with a heavy weight of heartache and meaning. 9S is such a great character. Seeing everything with Emil again from NieR was bittersweet too.

It wasn't a game that made me cry but I was definitely emotional.
I am so glad I played this game. I played for the storytelling and got so, so much out of it. 
I'm still thinking a lot about it months later.

I've been watching all the videos and lore I could find.
Gosh my heavy heart <3 


PS If you plan to play NieR:Automata:
I recommend MrClemps' NieR and Drakengard summary/analysis videos BEFORE playing NieR:Automata! For the full story experience. It made it more worth it for me. Oh of course don't watch his spoilery NieR: Automata videos in case you're watching from this above linked playlist. The youtube playlist includes it so watch out!

Ideally do watch a let's play of NieR for the better experience beforehand but not a must. ^_^ It's long but I highly recommend you do. I personally watched the Best Friend's playthrough here.

IF you have finished Ending E for NieR:Automata...and you want that full experience of the lore:
See this NieR:Automata wiki for post game lore and go DEEP ;D
There is A LOT to read. It took me a few weeks to a month to digest but it was worth it for me. <3

There's also SuperBunnyHop and other content creators who've done NieR analysis videos - even Extra Credits had an episode! But don't watch them yet!
Spoilers ;D

BurpDoodle: Overcooked Kevin the Dog

BurpDoodle: Overcooked Kevin the Dog
This is what my brother looks like when I say something silly or something he doesn't care for ;P
Finally played the first two levels for the first time recently and laughed so much at this dog; too bad I don't have friends to play with to get the full fun experience but I can see why it's so great (:

Thursday, April 19, 2018

SuperListenMode: You gotta believe Pt 2

SuperListenMode: You gotta believe Pt 2

Reminding myself too. 

I forget often :')

You can do the thing! ^o^

Monday, April 16, 2018

SuperListenMode: When you see me sitting by myself...

SuperListenMode: When you see me sitting by myself...

I'm taking a break from the social crowd.

Yes I'm one of those people who makes herself as small as possible when it gets socially overwhelming :') And it's rare for me to take initiative to talk to somebody...aye.  It takes a while for me to collect some courage and approach someone at times.

It's super bad when it's too dark to draw...my last resort to cope .___.

Perhaps I have an unapproachable death stare/zoned out tired face on D:

But feel free to come over for a little chat (: 
If we run out of things to say, that's fine too - something I'm learning to embrace myself!

PS: Changed it a bit: SLM is going to update on Mondays and Thursdays!

Friday, April 13, 2018

SuperListenMode: How I met Kalonica

How I met @Kalonica_

This was 2015 I think? She is a lovely sweet buddy now! Aww (:

When you're so used to people losing interest and walking off, I expect shallow connections...even today. Other times I lose interest and move on too - I get it. 

Yes I have hurt feelings sometimes but I'm not being passive aggressive. That's how things are and/or the timing isn't right ;P  You can't be friends with everyone.

So when someone is actually happy to be present with you on a mutual level it's a shock! It's a pleasant surprise! A wonderful heartwarming feeling <3

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

SuperListenMode: Three promises to my Mother

First up I am super grateful to my mother for all she has done for me. We visited her grave a few weeks ago and each time I feel appreciative that I'm alive in spite of all the uncertainty ahead.
To do things you believe in with kindness and love.
Each day is full of possibilities!

Here it was the last year of my mother's life at the time and yes I've broken two of these promises - I drank 3 ciders in my life [I don't like it anymore] & accidentally swore once or twice - one time because I was reading it aloud from a book without thinking whoops. 

Silly guilt aside, I stuck to these promises to this day because I know in my heart that drinking, drugs/smoking and swearing are not for me. No judgement on anyone - I respect your life & decisions, as I would like you to respect mine. (:

Plus I said "NO" in the face of a group of popular girls. 

Stuff that peer pressure. They've got no power over me ;P

Gosh what a stubborn naive butt I am! ;)

Monday, April 9, 2018

SuperListenMode: Summary of my GCAP feelings over the years

I am not criticising anyone for GCAP! I'm just growing out of being an introverted hermit over the years as I throw myself into the deep end at crowded industry events. 

Social Practice towards better Emotional Intelligence? 

This comic is embarrassing because of my insecurities, low self esteem and silly feelings. But it's okay to feel out of place. I still do. I just focus on what I do have, accept my times of struggle and keep working at it. Who really does completely belong - we're all weird and wonderful :')

These are summaries of my GCAP blog posts actually!

Just my own personal struggles and growth with industry events, 
drinking culture,
late night parties, 
feeling like a lonely alien nobody, 
learning from speakers, 
making sure I get some breaks away from people, 
making sure I eat something, 
accept that people come and go at these things and you might never actually talk or catch up because everyone's exhausted, 
breakfast/lunch catch ups are the best, 
trying to follow up with people and sometimes it doesn't work out,
saying no to almost all night parties, 
being okay if people ignore you or are too busy 
and trying to not take it seriously. 


As I said in my MIGW17 blog post, 2017 was the first time I felt better about all this in taking all these passing feelings in stride. I'm getting more comfortable saying hello to people too sometimes...while my self confidence goes up and down! 

Gosh! Super appreciated the friendly hugs too <3 It's probably just luck though so again I'm not going to expect anything this year...I just want to learn and say hi to people when I feel able ;P

Maybe I'll see you around this year's Games Week. Maybe! Games Week tends to be super crowded and it's the bane of my existence if I don't take care of my energy levels. :') You could be too busy to talk to me anyhow :')

I'm actually planning to be around PAXAus for just one day instead depending on commitments. I've gone every year for all 3 days since it started and going all 3 days is not for me anymore.
I'm so done and tired by that level of commitment now. 
I'm done...1 day is enough for me.
I got better things to do! ;D

PS: Hey I'm posting full length SuperListenMode comics here!

Starting to post SuperListenMode comics individually here so:

  • peeps can comment here below without being tied to a social media platform ;D 
  • I can finally tag and organise the comics here 
  • Twitter doesn't allow me to post these personal essays that come along with these sometimes haha
  • I don't want my comics get lost into the social media void whenever I want to link to them directly - this will help tremendously

Leaving Instagram with my semi mega long posts because links are prohibited there. But even instagram has its character limits!

Here will be where the full post shall be from now on!

I hope this change is okay with you <3

Friday, April 6, 2018

[FEB&MAR2018] Being Yourself versus Defining who you are // MeowBurpDoodles Collection + Okami Lunar New Year + Mighty Ladies Portraits

Leonie's small blog island says hullo! (:

Disqus comments are back after many years! In the past it's usually 1 or 2 friends who comment and it became saddening.

I mean I've always blogged to myself and talked to myself. Go deeper than social media posts and rambled away all I liked here.

But hey anyone alive and reading? 
I've brought back comments on my blog posts again to leave the option open for people to comment here at length. I'll probably check here the most. (:

Be anonymous if you like...I think you can? Just wanted to see if there's anyone out there. Let me know in the comments way, way, way below ;) I'll read them all at the least!

Expecting tumbleweeds every time because people are busy with their own lives as am I so...
Repetitive thank yous if you read this <3  

    Let's go! Journal Time.

    Adriel & Rami: their dedicated Wedding icon! 
    The lovely power couple (: I actually forgot Rami's beard because I was so out of it and sleep deprived during the first pass :')

    Adriel & Rami's Wedding Icons
    Y5M2&3 Leonie Yue's Social Media Recap & Sketchbook:
    VectorBurpQuest attempts
    Some Commissions
    Mighty Games Ladies Portraits
    #nonoFomo WiDGET SuperListenMode comics