Friday, August 17, 2018

BurpDoodle: Hugs with Love & Kindness

BurpDoodle: Hugs with Love & Kindness

Yes I'll bring back my favourite CatBlob whenever I need a cute reminder <3
Being loving and kind in everything you do from a genuine place.
Sometimes words aren't needed.
Hug or be kind to someone important to you today. 

That includes yourself!

I'm not good at this. I'll keep learning though. 
This self love and confidence thing.
Especially when I'm harsh and critical upon myself with tight and high expectations in life and art I cannot reach. Got to focus on doing my best, forgive my mistakes and take care of myself.

"Cleverness is a gift, kindness is a choice." quoting from Jeff Bezos.
I don't know too much about him though! Digressing.

Being kind and compassionate is much harder, usually inconvenient to you and done regardless whether there's acknowledgement, gifts or recognition in return. No matter how difficult and harsh people and things may be. No matter who is or isn't watching. You don't get tangible rewards for being kind.

It's done out of the simple feeling of just wanting to do it out of goodwill, trust, love, respect, care and wellbeing. It's super hard.

When you do though, you just want to help someone in a meaningful way.

It does not mean being a doormat and losing yourself. 
It's not about impressing other people. If this is the case, let go and move on. 
Life is too short to care about people who don't feel the same. 
Focus on the people who do.

Just love yourself, be kind to yourself and live with the uncertainty, doubts, fears and insecurities, sadness you may have. Forgive yourself with love.

Do what you feel is important to you to be the best self you can be.

All are just reminders to myself from the things I've been reading :')

Got to remember life worth living isn't easy and it's a constant fight and juggle to keep what's most important [family, friends, relationships, career, hobbies, business, health, self care, finances, learning, so on] to you close to your heart.

We're all doing the best we can. 

We work things out as they come.

So hey do remember to be kind and loving with yourself and consequently with the people around you. You're doing great. <3

Stay beautifully kind from a genuine place.

Gosh to have people to hug, love and talk with and be there for each other whenever you want is a rare thing. Sigh. I'm mushy and sentimental :') 

Wednesday, August 15, 2018

SuperListenMode: Why this comic Pt 2

SuperListenMode: Why this comic Part 2

Sure these comics are created way in advance but these descriptions are usually updated as I publish them. :')

Sometimes I feel better doing these comics as a form of self care.

Other times I need to cut down and not make them if I'm feeling worse.

I put out my feelings/thoughts out there and at worst I just get apathy.
Hey I wouldn't know how I'm judged when I'm not active and engaging on social media ;P Regardless I appreciate all the ninja likes + glances of acknowledgement. <3

I'm glad you're getting acquainted with my silly feelings.
That there are people actually reading! Gosh!

Thank you for reading and by extension,
being friends with my feelings too <3

PS: I've made enough comics in advance so that it goes until the start of December. From then on, I plan to make them when I'm mostly feeling neutral or positive. Not too much when I'm feeling glum. You'll see why when December's comics comes around (:

Tuesday, August 14, 2018

BurpDoodle: Finally a new 2018 Twitter Avatar

BurpDoodle: Finally a new 2018 Twitter Avatar
Currently having a "good enough", less gloomy headspace for a more determined, hesitant smiling little me for Twitter :') 

Previous "sad, tense, anxious and pouty" me shall stay as the Facebook one. Because as you know, my interest in facebook is not much there. ;) I don't have the gumption to quit it so...yep. I'll return to lurk, post something if I need to and then leave again...I don't really enjoy using facebook and consequently don't connect with people there that consistently well. :(

Instagram keeps the watercolour-ish "looking down hopefully and smiling" me.
Because it's so low investment over there. Aside from my art and comics I don't really post anything else too personal. But it gets so addictive, distracting and depressing as it's designed to be as I find myself reaching out to my phone too much so I had to minimise usage. Though Instagram stories is a neat thing! I get to 1 to 1 talk to a close friend or two there!

Social Media Note: I've blocked myself from facebook everywhere till late September for now...or indefinitely. And spending less time on instagram and twitter by keeping it to once a week or even once every other week in small sessions. 
I need some personal space again!

These breaks are a frequent thing. As usual, email and blog comments here below are the best ways to contact me (:

I'm getting better at letting go of the guilt, desire to please and I stopped checking my feed and am striving to not worry about online presence. The next step is to talk about it less ;P It feels good to just blog, make art, post art, engage with people and use social media in moderate, healthy amounts for the positive things (: Maybe there are better ways to connect than social media but I haven't found something that works for me.

Aye, I'm not feeling 100% with happiness and positivity and that's okay. Taking my sweet time to accept and work through things in my mind and learning, however long it takes. That's life, you keep going in spite of all the negative, lonely, resentful, tense, confused and sad feelings. Acknowledging and letting all that go. And cheer others on and cherish the happy and lovely moments in between :') 

I don't know if and when things will get better. I consider myself lucky to be alive and doing art for a living in spite of the other negative things in my life. I do have a better degree of fulfilment compared to several years ago. It's definitely up to me to work things out when I'm ready for change and in a better headspace. 

I do hope in time that I continue to grow and believe in myself & in the kind friends and people around me. Thanks for bearing with me as I talk about the things I'm dealing with <3 <3

Learning to keep rolling and make the most with what I have with moments of gratitude. Enjoy the rollercoaster process of growing (:

Artwise, there isn't really a super deep meaning but it just worked out this way with these avatars.   

Clearly I don't care about consistency and branding at the moment aside from the colour choices ;P

Monday, August 13, 2018

SuperListenMode: Disgustingly free

SuperListenMode: Disgustingly free

It was the most expensive item in the vending machine.
I tried one. It tasted like toothpaste.

I thought I was lucky.

I was wrong.

The pack of chips I bought was great though.

Friday, August 10, 2018

BurpDoodle: There's Batman in all of us / LEGO Batman movie

BurpDoodle: There's Batman in all of us

Finally saw the movie a while back; super entertaining and packed with references that went over my head.

But I've been a homebody lone wolf plenty so I related to Batman :') 

I relate to Batman's "I work as a homebody lone wolf" lifestyle thing in a preemptive defense of getting emotionally hurt in some regards. 
I'm selfish in my little world and I love solitary moments to recover. I'm still learning to self love and am learning at art and life. 

How I don't know what people want 100% unless they tell me their expectations and boundaries clearly and directly - communication and respect!! That often happens when you know someone well enough though. Usually I assume that people want personal space like I would, or people would let me know if they need something, or if I've done something wrong, or I'm just too ignorant or unable to help. 

Hey I won't offer to help if I don't want to or unable to ;P 

I'm ignorant :')

As I've said countless times, social media doesn't fully cut it for good human bonding. Plus I don't usually initiate catch ups as I'm a coward and it's not really a habit for me thanks to my low social energy levels. I assume people are too busy for little me. Well unless it's an established, regular thing between us! ^o^
I just want a small circle of good kind friends. :') 

So I'm not exactly like Batman! 
He's rich and has influence while I'm just getting by under the radar haha

I'm not sure if the movie is depicting the homebody lifestyle as a necessarily bad thing but what it does do is to emphasise the goodness, meaning and gratitude you get from the people you grow, share things and get close with. 

Family are the people you choose to love, respect and get close with (:

Honestly I need a lot of work in this area because I don't have many close friends. I strive to be better. Perhaps I'm connecting with people in a small way through my art and comics. <3

Wednesday, August 8, 2018

SuperListenMode: How do you calm your heart?

SuperListenMode: How do you calm your heart?

Aye good ol' escapism.

Sometimes you need to stop dwelling and just do things instead.
Sometimes you can't stay calm so you convert that energy into action.
Keep busy instead.

Or you do the opposite.
Find ways to relax completely and break away from things that give you stress. 

Hiatuses & vacations, right? What normal people do?
I need to do this more one day :')

Come back when you're feeling ready enough to take a step forward again.
It'll be okay.

Things I've personally done...

  • Making art. 
  • Watch videos or streams.
  • Playing games.
  • Brain dumping thoughts.
  • Reading books about things I'm learning about.
  • Sleep.
  • Comfort food hehe
  • Catching up with deep conversations
  • closing my eyes and breathe with mindfulness

Not everything but...you get the idea ;)

PS: that quote in the first panel was my mother's words :')

Tuesday, August 7, 2018

BurpDoodle: Go on, I'm listening

BurpDoodle: Go on, I'm listening

This was based on an old train sketch I did of a lady last year.
Really loving this airbrush <3

Trying to get myself into the habit of making BurpDoodles, allow myself to play with things and hopefully get better at art as usual!! 

The struggle continues! 
I'm not as gloomy anymore at least. It goes up and down.
Feeling below average. And that's okay.
Life is full of discomfort and embarrassment.

Here I was playing around with an old piece of art software that's not that great...I couldn't draw without jaggy lines :<

Feeling guilty for being a super ghost on Facebook that my art page is automatically updating for a month now and there's little interaction there as expected. I just don't want to be active when I know it's going to be difficult reaching anybody and algorithms are working against me. 

I miss facebook interaction now :') 
But people ninja on my posts regardless...it becomes a shock and apparent when a few people out of the blue to tell me that they do see bits and pieces. I thought you faded away! :')

Much gratitude to peeps and friends who actually do need the facebook page to keep updated with my art all the same. That's why I keep it going else I would have stopped posting art on facebook altogether. 

I noticed that a few actually started following via Instagram too.  
Not that I can link to blog posts from there...peeps there can't read this :<
But yes I am more active there and Twitter via my phone sometimes

Facebook...a few times a month? Heads up I'm taking more frequent long breaks from Facebook. As in I'm blocked, can't see it, refuse to use messenger and it's not on my phone.

I've blocked myself on desktop computers because I need some focused time. Don't want to depend on social media too much. I don't want to keep distracting myself looking at things I don't have and fall into the endless state of not feeling enough ;P 

I'm not seeing the value of Facebook especially since changing to a Facebook Art Page...it's more about events and sadly I rarely do those :') 

Instagram and Twitter I check when I'm out and about sometimes. I've muted notifications altogether to minimise checking it too much. I'm not trying to be rude!! I just want to make sure I make space for myself away from the noise and keep the temptations away. No need to share every single thing about my mundane life. I might sometimes when I feel like it. 
Still figuring this balance out. 

Ultimately I want to focus on the important things in my life.

So again, communication through blog comments or email is the most reliable way to reach me. Unless you don't mind waiting indefinitely longer ;)

Digressing. Again, thank you! ;___;
Please reach out in the comments under this post below if you feel inclined <3

Monday, August 6, 2018

SuperListenMode: Glum Blob "Boi"

SuperListenMode: Glum Blob "Boi"

My gloomy rut this year was bringing me down but I'm super grateful for my brother for lending his ear sometimes. :') 

For a long time I wasn't able to pick myself up...every since I did those NZGDC/GCAP conference talks last year. I didn't know where to go from there. 
I felt emptied out. 
Exhausted. Directionless. Disillusioned. 
I wanted to retreat. 

I needed as much time as I needed to figure out things and heal. Didn't know how but I kept moving, reading and trying things, failing, falling over and then taking breaks in between. 

For a long while, I didn't want to make art either. 
I lost a lot of the drive I had in making art.
Sat with the sadness and frustration whenever I need to. 
Then the cycle starts again. 
Keep moving again before I spiral too deep into hopelessness and having nothing to work towards.
Especially as someone who relies mostly on art to drive her.

It happens.

Especially when you're trying to figure out what's true to you once again.

"Keep doing what I'm already doing" doesn't cut it if it feels like I've been running in circles. I don't have a clear vision on where I want to go right now.
What are my values right now? What do I care about? 
What is my driving force now?

Growing pains has been and is the theme last and this year.
Aye, all part of the journey.
I'm probably too sensitive. I don't care though.
I have feelings. Although I'm too much of a coward to express them in person, I've been expressing them here. 

I'm the kind of person that retreats and nests a lot of the time in order to ground herself again. I want to come to my own conclusions after hearing and reading to so many other voices already. I don't want people telling me what they think I should do...it backfires. I deal with family telling me what I should do on a daily basis already. I don't need more unsolicited advice.

Other times I need more trusted and respected voices...when I'm ready to listen. Then I will talk and ask for it.

As a friend said on twitter, it's hard when you feel really alienated when people go about their lives on social media without you and yet without social media you feel even more isolated, sad and lonely. I feel this a lot whenever I check even though I try to keep my usage limited to certain days and times. 

It's really not a great place to be your sole source of human connection in spite of all the convenience it brings. 
And I'm saying this despite being the introverted, lazy homebody!

Still social media is good for keeping tabs on sweet art and people so you have stuff to talk about when you meet up! And then you can catch me on how little I know you regardless haha! (Hey people don't show everything on social media...it goes back to it being not an ideal sole way to maintain friendships.)

Yes I know, genuine friendships aren't easy ;P 

Maybe I'm stronger for this struggle with art and life.
Still got much to learn however. 

Lots of growing up to do. Especially when I'm still very much afraid to boldly speak my mind in person and express my feelings. Though I need time and reflection to do it in the first place. I need to believe I'm worthy and stop fearing consequences in a world seemingly primed for social butterflies...I have to get some courage, face and deal with the discomfort and make mistakes in order to overcome it. Not sure when I'll push myself to do that though ;P

Indeed I do keep looking for "purpose". I realise that it doesn't matter...values and whether actions align with that are more important. Learning how to do this better continues. 

Usually I look for the exciting scary future to drive me.
So I keep reminding myself to enjoy the present every now and again.
I do have what I need, I just need to stay true to myself.
Go with the flow and hang in there Leonie. :')

Digressing. Regarding the comic, I emphasise that I still watch gameplay as my escape when work and life gets too stressful, exciting, overwhelming, tense, focused or whatever terminology you like! 

I do play at least a few games a year at least hehe. 

Other times I just want to get away from it all.
Just rest and chill. :')

Friday, August 3, 2018

BurpDoodle: Cynthia the Pega-pony princess

BurpDoodle: Cynthia the Pega-pony princess

I haven't played this but she's one of my brother's favourite female characters who's a clumsy, heroic, hilarious tomboy and Pegasus knight?

Drew this for him anyway even though I don't know too much about her ;D
Been told it's a super good game too! :D

I don't like how this turned out but I'm letting it go.
I'll get better art next time ;___;

From this moment from Fire Emblem: Awakening if she's Chrom's daughter:

Wednesday, August 1, 2018

SuperListenMode #236

SuperListenMode #236

Tuesday, July 31, 2018

Rough BurpDoodle: Artist Dream Friend Adeleine! / Kirby Star Allies

Rough BurpDoodle: Artist Dream Friend Adeleine! / Kirby Star Allies
One of my favourite Kirby characters got released last Friday! ^o^

Fun fact: I used my fanart of her as my profile picture back when I started posting my horrible art online in 2005/2006. Wow. Always got more to learn :')

First met her when I played Kirby's Dream Land 3 and then Kirby 64 way later.

I don't like how she turned out here though. Sadness. :<

Originally I drew Ribbon as well for some girl power teamwork but it wasn't working for me. I'll do better next time. :')

Indeed I've been doodling fanart to get it out of my system. 
The creative rut, hopelessness, gloominess and frustration is starting to become less stressful, now that I'm taking things in stride better. 

It's still there like a puffy grey cloud over my head. 
Am still stuck.
But I am still learning.

The journey to figure what I'm doing continues.

Monday, July 30, 2018

SuperListenMode: Needle Torture

SuperListenMode: Needle Torture

I super super respect people who get/got tattoos and/or deal with needles regularly to get by. Super respect your tolerance for pain.

Took me many years to tolerate and relax a bit with immunisations as it is.

Thought I could face an armful of needles stabbed into my arm, meant to loosen up my tensed up injured arm muscles. Instead I felt more tense and pain. :')
I refused to do my other arm...it was too much. 

At least I tried with one arm? It's not weird but painful plus moving my fingers made the needles move about deep inside my muscles...eep I could feel it!! I could not look at my arm anymore!

My physio tried making conversation with me and making jokes at my expense but I was too busy trying to survive the pain and making noises...couldn't work or do much afterwards. It hurt so bad.
Had to heal and rest up with ice packs haha

He had some laughs at my suffering though. *shakes fist*

PS: I have slight degrees of tennis elbow in both my arms...it's not painful anymore. But it can come back if I'm not careful! 
I exercise and I need to do stretches often during breaks. :<

Friday, July 27, 2018

BurpDoodle: "IT'S. ME. WA. RI. O" / WarioWare Gold

BurpDoodle: "IT'S. ME. WA. RI. O." / WarioWare Gold

Coming out tomorrow in Australia with loads of great voice acting from the incredible Charles Martinet. Wahaha making games is definitely easy when you don't do any of the work like Wario! 
Just scam people to do the work for you! ;D

Gosh game development commentary haha
I was pressured to try the 3DS demo a few weeks ago and as much as I didn't like the art style when compared to the previous games, it's pretty packed with loads of minigames and silly, light narrative about tricking people to make minigames for free. It's a game when you want to be intensely focused on surviving quirky minigames for as long as you can. It's super fun in short bursts.

The only WarioWare game I played in full was WarioWare, Inc.: Mega Microgames when it first came out and I had time to spare back then. Now there's a bunch of more characters so I don't know what's going on now, lots of new mini games since then! This one actually has custom dubs too! 

My brother will be getting the game so I might actually play the latest one if I really need a break from everything else. ;)

Favourite quotes from the demo:
"It's pizza time!...No money." - Wario
"Selling like hotcakes!" - TV Presenter about a new game
"Quick Cash! Games...Easy money!" "Type type type!" - Wario

Wednesday, July 25, 2018

SuperListenMode: Nah I'm good

SuperListenMode: Nah I'm good

Usually I want to stay focused & protect my introvert levels of energy - keeping it to chats at or near my desk sometimes. Or you can call that laziness :')

It's emotionally hard at times as I consciously push that fear of missing out to the side. Eventually I'll get better at it :<

Yes, it's been suggested to me by a lovely person yesterday [and I've thought about it] that I should come along to coffee runs. Even though I don't drink coffee. Boost my own morale with cool people. To actually get to know peeps and colleagues better and not be on my own lonely island too much. So far I make myself invisible as the art ghost and game art helper fighting her imposter syndrome as it is. So my habits aren't helping -___-;

That said, I need breaks and walk away from my desk in general [which I am too lazy and tired to do when the time actually comes] so I think I need to do baby steps. 

Before I go into a casual impromptu group social thing that by my nature, drains my energy, I should actually slowly get into the habit of regularly walking away alone and take solo breaks. Get some solitary quiet time and relax to energise. I don't really feel like talking when I'm trying to relax and actually take a break. Away. From. My. Desk. Stop. Being. A. Workaholic. Gah.

So I need to make an effort to do both kind of breaks - social and solo ones. At first I need to make sure I take breaks in the first place because I shamefully slack off from doing it...I need to slowly make it a habit and not criticise myself too harshly when I forget to act on it. I've been there.
I'll ease in with solo breaks first.

I tense up a lot when I'm at work, especially in an open office and I get super sleepy exhausted during late afternoons and after work :/ Drinking tea, meditating for a while is helping a lot with my fatigue, TMJ strain and sleepiness though! But I need to do better, get up and walk! I know this but I don't do it over time during past feeble attempts gahhh. 

This time, I'll focus on doing better and I'll count how many breaks I've done in a day. So in that light I should probably have at least 5 small breaks, 1 lunch break and many mini breaks. Okay broken down, it's now more tangible on how I'm doing!

Well I'll update here how I go with breaks sometime! 
I hope I won't disappoint myself again. I just want to get better. :')

Digress. Getting that balance of connecting with others versus doing your own thing is hard! But gosh I do enjoy 1 to 1 catch ups [and sometimes/maybe very small groups] to hang with! <3 They energise me in a different way.

Super bad at initiating though :<

Because it's so easy to give up and build walls to protect myself from getting hurt and disappointed. Logically I know this comfort zone needs pushing but I want to act and do social things out of genuine interest, not out of desperation for connection. I need to care less .___.

I mean look what improv and dancing classes left me with. I was vaguely interested and I learned that the activities itself weren't compelling enough for me to continue, at least by myself. The people were friendly and cool and I had a few good conversations I wouldn't have otherwise at least! (:

I felt even more different than everybody else and essentially I was acting the whole time. Pretending I enjoyed the company of lots of people at once as a kind fellow introverted person described it exactly. It was exhausting. :(

Still when I can afford and want to, I hope to try other classes and learn other cool things! I want the new skill or activity to be something I enjoy too! So I'm not heavily focused on socialising itself. (:

At the moment I'm too interested in just art, working out of this creative rut and that's typically a solitary thing. :(

Tuesday, July 24, 2018

BurpDoodle: It'll be okay Madeline / Celeste

BurpDoodle: It'll be okay, Madeline / Celeste

Pushing through my sad creative rut continues!
Somehow this feels apt :')

A good reminder to myself and anyone out there:
You're not alone with your struggle. You got this.
Even if you don't believe it yet. <3

Trying to strike a balance between SuperListenMode comics, work, learning and BurpDoodles without pushing myself too hard and burn out. The struggle more lies in my indecisiveness, hesitation and self doubt on what I want to focus on. 

I'm still very much uncertain.
Striving just keep take things in stride, one step in front of the other.
And just make art anyway as I learn. 

Focus on making and learning. 
Stop worrying about everything else.

Stuff that noise! 

Aye. It's hard though :')

It's so cool that the Celeste twitter retweeted the previous fanart! ^o^ 
Gosh I said I was terrible at video games then at the time but I also didn't play Celeste because I'm just not interested to play it through myself...same with most games. 

Instead of playing, here's my little way to support this great game (:

PS Edit: Aahh they kindly retweeted my tweet the day I published this :')
Thank you Celeste team <3

Monday, July 23, 2018

SuperListenMode: Dealing with feels

SuperListenMode: Dealing with feels

Perhaps do all three. 
Talk to somebody you trust too.
Or just distract yourself with learning, rest or escape through entertainment :')
Whatever works.  

Friday, July 20, 2018

BurpDoodle: "Aww, man!!"

BurpDoodle: "Aww, man!!"
Princess Daisy! She was my first princess I saved as Super Mario Land was my personal first Mario game I've played ;) 

Was so elated when I finally beat it after giving up so many times.
You fly away in an aeroplane at the end, it's so cool and satisfying! YES ^o^

Now as a character she's super enthusiastic, bold and loud mouthed which is opposite of me but her attitude is clear as day! Bold and feisty!
Super neat she's in Smash Bros. Ultimate too!

After doing other kinds of art, I did this piece of comfort zone fanart to warm up again.
I'm rusty, pushing through my creative rut around in circles and I have a lot of learning to do. :') 

Wahhh! I hope I get better at art eventually .____.

Thursday, July 19, 2018

SuperListenMode: Creative Flow

SuperListenMode: Creative Flow

There are times that when I see peeps eat meals...then I remember I need to eat too. Whoops!

I don't often do all nighters if there's work the next day but sometimes when it's a Saturday...sleep in ;) 

Yes I'm naturally a night owl...and I get to do that over weekends!
Wait technically I wake up 7am/8am on weekends so...

But I am an early bird on weekdays, waking up at 5am ;D

I end up getting sleep deprived sometimes when I want to exercise for self care and health during mornings and yet I want to do personal art at night, get carried away and work too late. Oh dear.

I usually stick to going to bed early but it's hard when weekend comes around :')

Wednesday, July 18, 2018

BurpDoodle Animation: Sleepy Kirby

BurpDoodle Animation: Sleepy Kirby
Dear Leonie, you need more sleep :')

Doing terrible straight ahead animation for fun & playing with some basic software, I'm not a proper animator ;P

Just wanted to doodle a cute Kirby face.

Animation Ramble [talked about it before]:
Animation to the highest standard in my mind is an incredible feat requiring boundless depths of patience and mastery of movement, acting, performance, staging, flow, rhythm, subtlety, expression/emotion and making sure you're communicating what you want through your moving pictures. 

As you know I've learned basic 2D and 3D animation and its principles before. I'm not experienced to be confident or knowledgeable with it. It's something that needs to be practiced but I haven't done the mileage. 

Meanwhile 3D animation was a nightmare for me as I was never happy with my work and I didn't enjoy nitpicking and moving the rigs of 3D modeled puppets. 

With 2D animation, I enjoyed doing the first pass. Just roughly sketching each frame, add needed inbetweens and additional frames to provide clarity to the movement and then be done with it. The fun for me personally is in the drawing and getting the rough idea out. 

So I'm no animator. 
That said, I am not interested in storyboarding either. 
Which is another incredible skill of communication, storytelling and draughtspersonship to have!

At best I can do simple, wonky, sketchy and silly animation like this before I get bored. Or perhaps animation with only a few frames if we're going for pose to pose animation. I mean I can push myself if it has to be done though.
But you get the idea. ;)

This is why I admire animators so much!! They're incredible! :0

That said, please be kind with your constructive criticism if you have any for this! I might do a few more. Not sure yet. This is just something for fun! :')

Monday, July 16, 2018

SuperListenMode: Creativity!

SuperListenMode: Creativity!

Please protect your creative needs! 
Your creative precious soul!
Set aside some time!

Make things!
Even if you're never going to show it to anybody! 
Have some fun! ^o^

I'm trying to do this via these comics and BurpDoodles...and seeing what happens.
Hopefully without pushing myself too hard and burn myself out :')

Consciously stopped myself from overworking for once last Friday haha
Waah. I've been juggling a lot trying to get back into the swing of things :(

Friday, July 13, 2018

BurpDoodle: Captain Toad Treasure Tracker on the Switch today!

BurpDoodle: Captain Toad Treasure Tracker on the Switch today!
Adventure together!! Doodoodoo! ^o^ 

Fun little cute game, please get it if you haven't already played!
I played it on the WiiU so I'm just happy more people can play it now!

Gosh I remember this game charming me over! <3

Here's a cute cover of the Captain Toad theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rAlRfujA2I

PS: I wasn't happy with the save the damsel story in Chapter 1 but trust me, keep playing. I was told the same and I don't regret playing this wholesome game <3

Wednesday, July 11, 2018

SuperListenMode: "What do you do" Conversations

SuperListenMode: "What do you do" Conversations

Non industry peeps usually look at me confused while I'm too used to talking to people who know what I'm talking about :')

I used to make marketing art...? 
I make art you see in those games?

Shooty Skies? Crossy Road? Disney Crossy Road? Framed 2? 

Uh...some things I can't talk about yet?!

It hurt to say "Candy Crush" as it's my feeble attempt to connect with someone .___.

I don't know how to answer this question on what art I do exactly :(

Maybe I should just say I make comics as that's easier. Niche too.
Plus you're reading them right now.

Then again I don't make comics for a living, admission has been free ;P

I make these comics for myself and my silly feelings.
*puts on sunglasses indoors with tears running down my face*

Tuesday, July 10, 2018

Somehow in the 2018 MCVPacific Women In Games List - Huh...What?!

I didn't check social media this morning and then...

What. How. Huh?!

I even posted a comic last month on how I don't feel like part of the games industry and I'm just an art helper.
So any industry lists were out of the question.

I'm not cool. I'm pretty quiet, reserved and introverted.
I don't have much friends.
I make art within my own lonely bubble.
What I do is pretty niche.
I'm pretty much an art ghost when I need to be on social media.
I don't feel like I'm doing big generous things for the industry.
I don't feel like I have any influence.

Got an honourable mention and a nomination for Creative Impact last year to my confusion too.
So I thought that's all I should ever expect!
"That's it for my games career!" I thought. "Just keep doing my best regardless!"

I genuinely gave up expecting anything when it comes to recognition.

It's weird for me...I need some time for this to sink in.
I feel like a super fraud. I don't know why I'm listed. I'm confused. :')
I guess this is a pat on the back for something I don't know I did.

What did I do??? Halp!
I'm going to keep feeling this way every time people are kind to me haha

Self doubt aside, I'm just super grateful and shocked there are kind peeps who like what I do...even though I don't know what I'm doing with my creative rut <3

Super thank you Joel and the incredible, kind industry panel for the gracious honour, support and warm fuzzies ;___;
Thank you Mighty Games Group for being awesome in general too!!
Boundless gratitude to wonderfully kind and supportive friends and peeps I've met along the way and who help keep me going <3

But ignore little me, please check out the other brilliant ladies on the list! <3 They're super kickbutt, cool, generous and brilliant! It's an honour!!
Please support them if you're not already! <3 Warmest congratulations! ^o^

Finally regardless and most importantly: whether you're listed or not, you are still wonderful. ^_^ Let's all keep being inspiring, awesome and do our best! <3

Support *all* the awesome, kickbutt ladies and non binary peeps!

PS: Uhh I don't know what to do now. *flails*
What do you do when you're part of this class? :S
Is the homebody going somewhere? Is there a ritual? :0
I don't think anything changes...I'm still me, hello.
Maybe *this* is it for my games career and I shall fall into oblivion now ;D

Update 11th July 2018:
I'm not planning to go to Sydney's WIG lunch unfortunately.
I did go last year already as a surprise Creative Impact nominee so I figured someone else should take my spot.
My blog post on last year's 2017 WIG Lunch and...
I did a video blog here for 2017 WIG Lunch here.
I felt pretty out of place back then anyway like this gif.
I can't afford to travel to Sydney just for a lunch either.
So please enjoy it if you're going and congrats to everyone! ^o^
Hopefully I meet more people during and around Games Week when it's less intense...just not during late night crowded parties :')

Update 17th July 2018: 
Got featured by MCVPacific, thanks Joel for the lovely feature! Gosh! :')
He did his best copywriting my dot points I've given him:

Update 9th Aug 2018:
Cool feature by Michelle