Leonie's small blog island says hullo! (:
Hey! I'm just visualising my goals and the journey ahead!
And bigger font size!
Remembering why I went back to weekly earlier this year as these posts are mega long now that they're biweekly. That said, I'm sticking to biweekly by default!
Mega packages of scary for those who'd rather not read!
Let's go crazy! Journal Time.
|Mind maps are my friend; it could be yours too! :O|
Year 1, Weeks 43 & 44 (5th to 18th Nov)
- Projects: Juggling at least 2 at the moment
- Arm, back and shoulder strain self reminder
- People Drawing, Derp Doodles, Learning: as always! Trying to get back to drawing from references since last update. Hermit life time.
|Scribbly Drama or comedy?|
|I'll let my inbuilt bubbles do the work now|
|Ahh it's a guy!|
|Show me your moves|
|Is it really?|
|Somewhere...over the rainbow...|
|Haven't you heard?|
|Photo study; I put a time limit because I tend to noodle painting too long otherwise. Gangly :O|
|30 minute from imagination: Nerd lore|
|To think that two of these are actual sports|
|Putting minutes in; Photo study|
Other Hermit Derp Adventuuures: Whoa there
- Games (watching bits or all of it):
- D4: Dark Dreams Don't Die - What is Forrest Kaysen?! And that Cliffhanger!
- Dandelion: Wishes brought to you - such a silly game full of tropes
- The Vanishing of Ethan Carter ending; it's an interesting story
- Dreamfall Chapters - Book One; relationship breakup
- Screencheat oh new weapons!
- The Evil Within - Resident Evil 4...? Storytelling definitely confusing. Ending leaves questions to be answered too.
- Fatal Frame Ending
- Nintendo Direct - I live tweeted it too a while back
- Alien Isolation Ending - good though it felt lacking a bit
- UNFAIR MARIO
- Guacamelee Super Turbo Championship Edition
- MOTHER 3
- Bayonetta 2
- Sunset Overdrive - I'm not sure if I get this game but I went straight to the ending
- A Bird Story
- Super Smash Bros. Wii U soundtrack: it's brilliant; I had to bold it!
- Binding of Isaac: Rebirth Race
- Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney; nostalgia of the final case and the Rise from the Ashes case
- Hand of Fate
- Ephemerid: A Musical Adventure - beautiful rock musical rhythm love story and adventure, loved what I saw when I watched the gameplay and that papercraft artstyle! Bees and Beetles! Great for young kids especially while the music is amazing for all. That "classical/progressive/metal/techno/rock" soundtrack!
- Hyper Light Drifter (Beta)
- Silence of the Sleep
- Overwatch Trailer - I feel like I'm watching a brilliant animated Pixar short! Winston is my favourite. Gameplay looks fun and reminds me of Team Fortress 2 and it seems like Bastion will be used the most.
- Five Nights at Freddy's 2 - Stress game reloaded
- Cabela's Dangerous Hunts 2009
- The Sims 4
- The Legend of Korra
- Super Smash Melee Fights
- Octodad DLC
- Always Sometimes Monsters
- Chivalry: Deadliest Warrior
- Armello Game stream
- Valkyria Chronicles
- P.T. - Silent Hills
- Road Redemption
- Don't Starve (Reign of Giants DLC)
- Nox Timore
- Cool Soundtrack by a friend on Futurevox Imaginarium.exe
- Games played:
- Futurevox Imaginarium.exe arty, experimental experience where I got lost (probably the intention) and kept wondering when the level/area ends...I couldn't finish past the 4th/5th area as each level felt too long and kept going when the level's soundtrack ended. Art style is unique, there is an underlying environmental message (or so I think) and music is wonderful mind you (see previous point!)
- Hyrule Warriors DLC: First time playing as Lana and the Wii remote + Nunchuck combo...not fun
- Louder than Thunder: More of an interactive experience touching on serious issues
- Workstation Approach: makeshift standing "desk" report! Week 10 & 11! Hard to get back to it...
- Whoa-majig with wonderful peeps! Uno, tetris, sun, wind, florescent green spiders and BBQ food! I hear from the gusty wind that Derp flipped food onto the floor but who really knows! Great little small catch up majig.
- Doctor Who Series 8
- Episode 10 In the Forest of the Night: Oh somewhat mushy narrative. Not sure about Clara and Danny as individuals while the Doctor is just there to solve impossible problems.
- Episode 11 Dark Water & Episode 12 Death in Heaven: These two episodes I enjoyed the most out of the whole season. Awesome!! Yesss. Was sad about bow tie nerd girl though but she is a clone I would think. Tempted to watch again!
- Bee & Puppycat: First two episodes are quirky and charming but not as tight as the original short. Art style change is something I need to get used to. To be fair, it's now formatted as a series rather than a short. Or maybe I miss Puppycat's autotune storytelling singing.
- Don't Hug Me I'm Scared 3: Can I say it's not as creepy as the first two? It still is creepy and dark, poking questions on the concept of love and forever; it just felt lacking in punch somehow.
- PIKMIN Short Movies Trailer - he's eating a Pikpik carrot...!
- PAXAus This Gaming Life Preview by Tripod & MSO
- Malware/Adware battle: defeated it! And then didn't! Had to do heaps of scans in safe mode, remove Chrome completely and reinstall it to get rid of all the phishing redirects and ad pop ups. Finally won after a day and a half of sorting it out. (:
- Too Many Cooks: Don't find it funny but trippy, weird, crazy, gorey and fascinating
- More random finds at my fun blog
In closing: Career Mission Mindmap
Mission it is. As in the journey and process itself; whether it be a game, interactive story, animated feature or a fun project involving 2D design; there isn't really a final destination. New challenges always come up and hence more growth!
Character Design Mission, I say?
It makes my heart sing.
It's always what I've enjoyed the most. Like any artist, there has been incredible amounts of trial and error so far.
Yes visual development and illustrated storytelling is still very important to me.
It's just that I look back and I realise I don't have much recent character design work (and illustrations at that) I can show publicly as there are projects I started this year that I cannot show unfortunately.
Like with many artists with things they can't show, it really bugs me. Especially upon seeing so many artists doing wonderful things out there. I need to do much more out of fun from now on!
I have been redefining my focus in recent weeks and here is my current mind map for the next couple of years (or five, ten years) ahead.
Feel free to make your own!
Mine probably does not suit everyone's area of focus, whatever field you're in. I've made countless (yet too detailed) mind maps in past years but this might be the best and easiest to digest for me thus far!
In terms of art making, it's going to be a long while for me to do something consistent and fun so bear with me. (:
The past 2 weeks: Am I off the radar now?
Rhetorical question; though I just feel like I am compared to those who post daily or even every several hours.
But that doesn't matter. It shouldn't matter.
Weird that after a whole week, I was feeling more Post PAX depressed compared to the time during my last post! Delayed sad feelings?
Ah probably because I'm adjusting back to hermit life.
Perhaps it's also because I've decided to make this a biweekly thing and I have yet to adapt being technically off the online blogging radar for 2 weeks at a time. Two weeks feels like a long time; I need some time to adjust!
The world will continue on with or without you (ie no one cares, everyone is too busy with their own lives and burdens, myself included to put it bluntly) and so the feeling and trap that you should be doing and showing cool things with cool people in cool photos and making hundreds of cool friends doesn't completely go away even though you're completely aware that they're just amazing life highlights being posted.
Perhaps it's just the isolated Hermit Derp speaking. What do I know.
An article on social anxiety was brought to my attention...
And I had a long think about it. Lots of food for thought.
I do have some social anxiety and shyness but it's more because I'm really introverted - it's the way I respond to social things and stimulation. I'm not too afraid of social judgement (there's always some of it there for all of us) as although I'm definitely not perfect, I am usually happy with who I am. I take however much time I need to get to know someone and small talk is usually my weakness. I usually don't engage unless I feel like have a purpose, task at hand, am actually being spontaneous (not often!) or when I have something of value to contribute (given that someone is not creepy, disrespectful or being a jerk to me).
Common experience I'm sure: meeting new people is a struggle and when I do, I find that many people aren't on the same page in terms of conversation. It seems more difficult for me because my life is mostly about arting itself and that doesn't lend itself much to lasting conversations. Hermit Derp is at it again!
As much as I love listening to the stories of others and learning from what they have to say, I am terrible at small talking/mingling and bringing attention to myself. I do tend to underestimate the quality of friendships as I don't have many people I feel I can talk to, am the opposite of the social butterfly and I tend build boundaries around me and minimise social interactions when I get too uncomfortable or when my social stimulation quota has exploded (and I've probably made countless amounts of social mistakes and missed possibilities like a horrible rude person by doing that). I do my best pushing against this where possible - hopefully am improving with my developing social skills!
I stress that I truly appreciate and am grateful for the few friends I have right now. It's hard in light of social media but I keep reminding myself that it's okay to not have that many friends.
Just acknowledging and recognising my nature to stay invisible at the sidelines. In terms of social skills, I'm aware that it's a matter of getting more experience and living in the moment!
Social media can get really overwhelming...
and full of voices calling for attention and interest if you're not carefully selective. Which is why I'm amazed and fascinated at how people can manage hundreds and thousands of voices, friends, followers, groups, etc in their feed! Whoa!
To demonstrate how out of the loop I am, I don't even check much of my social media feeds and I just focus on tagging, emails, notifications, comments and messages (given that it's not abused of course).
Current strategy in posting: Throw something out there. Respond. Retreat. Then repeat.
Aye. Can't shake the feeling that seems easier to just shut out social media completely sometimes. I play with the idea of hiding away like people who do martial arts training and face the elements on their own sometimes. I need a considerable amount of alone time yet I tend to go overboard with this; I don't want to shut myself off completely! Collaborations are wonderful too!
Ah Hermit Derp.
I digress again. Will keep pushing this comfort zone.
Making mistakes and struggling as I go, with socialising.
Hopefully I will reach a point where I'm comfortable with the discomfort like many inspiring others who have learned to do so.
And it's going to take some time. As much time as it needs. (:
Hey! There are wondrous possibilities out there
Whatever stage of life you're in, there's a new challenge and opportunity ahead. Sometimes values get challenged and tested, you fight for your beliefs and then you grow as a person.
True, opportunities favours the prepared but how can you be prepared if you're not prepared to try and fail in the first place? And learn, try and fail again?
Rack up some experience? Punch that "I'm a fraud" feeling in the face!
Go do that thing you wanted to do but was too afraid to!
Let me end with this:
|I had a sudden power outage and the morning didn't start off that well so I made this thing to counter it. Stubborn Derp face. Don't give up!|
Digressing again: I'm terribly grateful so thanks to the small handful of people for reading! You survived to the end of this post!
You earned yourself a virtual medal!
See you in 2 weeks!
Keep adventuuuring you! (: