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Friday, August 22, 2014

Y1W31 Experimenting & metaphorical bottom kicking

Leonie's small blog island says hullo! (:

Let's go crazy! Journal Time.

Huh? Whahuh? Played around with this cute owl


Year 1, Week 31 (13th to 19th Aug)

  • Client work
  • Arm and shoulder strain self reminder
  • PV Banner: quickly filled up the space! Phew created a new wreath for Bayside where I cram more text for the fun.


  • Gestures & Learning: breaking this off into its own category. Hello, I say as I step side to side.

Made up Gentleman
 Made up Lady
Gestures & assorted mishaps?
As usual, these preview images are never planned but I mash things together from what I've done so far and make up stuff...and this weird thing comes about.  This is the preview image that didn't make it. Because owls. Unfortunate for you, flustered guy.
Poses and then dabbing at some lasso tool creatures


  • Character/s for the Week: play continues?
BLINDING RED SLUMBER
Playing with Alchemy shapes. I draw more than paint so I'm trying to get myself painting for fun again.



  • People Drawing/Derp Doodles: 
Hermit Sniffles. Meet Very-Cold-Marshmellow-Derp and White-Stache-Derp while I didn't bother with KO'ed snoozing Derp. Derp not feeling too great.


Other Adventures: 

  • Games (watching bits or all of it): you just realise how much of a hermit I've been. Look at this list! I know I am missing a huge part of the experience of gaming itself, don't you call in your angry mob! Anyway I can play my bro's collection of Steam games but that's rare. Still, playing games and watching movies is an extremely rare treat for me in general anyway. And I don't watch much TV or keep track of the music industry/world either. Definitely in the deep, endless pit, away from the "cool, trendy, news savvy" crowd to the point that I am an alien when I display signs of ignorance and evidence of inhabiting under a rock to fellow hoo-mins. I guess in terms of interests, I'm just focused on art-making/animation/game related stuff really. But I am open to learn more, including the things I am completely ignorant about. Just too occupied with this arting though haha whoops
    • Minecraft and Garry's Mod shenanigans
    • Okami
    • Resident Evil 6 - bad gameplay continues with the Jake and Sherry campaign
    • Lone Survivor - all of it
    • Eleusis - uhh terribly designed
    • Broken Age Act 1 - my bro has it but decided to not play it for myself and to watch it. ._. It's wonderful anyway with gorgeous art. I really enjoyed it! That cliffhanger! And those looong credits!
    • Silent Hills P.T. - brilliantly executed and it made people scramble at every clue to make sense of things and get the actual ending
    • The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
    • Mario Galaxy - snippets
    • Riftmax
    • The Banner Saga
    • Girls Like Robots
    • Paper Sorcerer
    • Antichamber - whoaaa such a clever and well executed game
    • Tesla Effect - just a bit
    • Yesterday - what is this; so many levels of crazy weird as a plot...saw it all
    • GamesCom Microsoft 2014 Conference - got my bro to play SuperHot and he reached the end of the demo; I didn't have the time to finish it but at least he did. Still I feel so accomplished hearing my bro exclaiming: "Super! Hot! SUPER! HOT!"
    • GamesCom Sony 2014 Conference - during the latter half I was...falling asleep. Um. I like watching and/or experiencing real-time gameplay more than trailers as it's more true to the game. Trailers are supposed to look good, says my skeptical voice. And most of the games I don't really keep track anyway so there's definitely bias there.
    • Infamous: Second Son 
    • Shadow Warrior...all the Wang jokes and then the game ended on a serious note
    • Mortal Kombat Shaolin Monks 
    • Dead or Alive 5 Ultimate versus mode - as expected, all the girls still look young & samey and one is dangerous in age
    • Mount your friends
    • Insurgency
    • OTTTD
    • The Expendabros
    • The Expendables 2
    • Project M battles
    • Five Nights at Freddy's - saw the whole thing and it got popular so quickly; effectively executed. It's all about being paranoid versus staying calm when you get used to it.
    • Marlow Briggs and the Mask of Death - can't help but laugh at the ridiculous, over-the-topness! Ooh! The amusing slow-mo 3D matrix like shots became cut scenes.
    • Divinity: Original Sin Alpha
    • RAGE
    • Trials Evolution 
    • Realistic Summer Sports Simulator 

  • Spent a part of a morning bouncing & testing showroom mattresses in-store. :O For science. 
  • Copy Paper Tower Challenge: Made all of it into makeshift sketch booklets. I can't do fancy ink/watercolour/paint/traditional media stuff in them but they are cost effective and will last me for many years to come...
  • Workstation Approach: Trialing my own makeshift standing "desk" (ie boxes). It feels so much better standing for most of the day. Let's see how this goes in two to 6 week's time. It's incredibly tiring and painful for my feet thus far though. Ouchie. Standing for ages makes you prone to leg and back injury too so I realised later that I needed to get a suitable mat for this.
  • Snip snip



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Reflection for the Week 


Kicking you to get up

I found myself giving motivational and kick in the buttocks kind of advice at one point during a private conversation. Sharing the paraphrased gist of it without being specific to you...maybe it might help you a bit. Who knows: 

You're not happy with your life right now.
You feel like you're doomed to your "fate". 
Everyone around you seem like years ahead of you and you've missed your chance. Your bus is gone. 
You feel like you've failed.
We've all failed many times before. Even the seemingly successful keep failing. Because they keep trying until they get there. And then the cycle continues again for them. 
You've done it many times before yourself but you don't remember or recognise it.
Yes there's that obstacle. And then that curve ball. And those horrible decisions you made.
But why worry about things out of your control?
It is not a unique situation either. You're not alone. 
You are not trapped. It's all in your mind as you run in circles, recalling everything in the past that didn't go your way, blaming others and then yourself. 
You're asking..."why should I even try anymore? I am...so tired. I am tired of chasing this blind dream. There are so many others who are even better than me doing the same. And this cycle of chasing will never end. Why bother?" 
Are they just excuses to yourself? Excuses to not try anymore? Is that it?
You're just going to give up just like that? 
Tell yourself to get back up and try again. Be kind to yourself.
Figure out; what *do* you really want? What's really important to you right now? What you're already doing is very telling on what you value, rather than what you are saying you "should" do. 
Now figure out things in your control which are in your way?
You'll eventually get there as long as you keep trying and do different things. And take breaks too.
I understand and I have been in your shoes. 
Hey I still struggle. It still feels terrible.
But it's okay. 
Don't worry and hate yourself for your feelings of blame and self loathing; they are normal and valid. 
I mean, we cherish the good times even more because of it, don't we?
Just don't dwell too long. 
And let's move on when you're ready. 
So...what's your plan for tomorrow? Let's deal with this.


Whoa. Reads a bit like a one sided preachy conversation still! And hey, I am not a therapist.
I don't know what I'm talking about.

In terms of *life*, I believe we can learn from anyone really (to different extents, no doubt). This is just to show how ignorant I am; I don't have any further and better advice or experience to give through this generalised form! :O


Is this reality?

Sleeping's all out of whack, feeling sick with drowsy sniffles, soreness, fatigue, loads of random granny naps, staring into space as I struggle to be conscious/focused, uncalled for sponge cake and being more of a hermit than usual...

Okay whining done; needed to let that out though very few read this anyway haha.
Yep I can't say I've been feeling swell but it's not absolutely terrible at least! Such is life! 

I'm slowly getting physically better from this very light cold...but I don't know anymore.

You just keep adventuuuring! I'll live! Go do wonderfully.

Leonie